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Old 10-05-2010, 04:05 PM
 
1,135 posts, read 1,958,726 times
Reputation: 1478

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Why do you feel obligated to pay for the college education of a child who has shown zero appreciation for your sacrifice and little maturity? Also, you need to face reality: Your child isn't college material (or is just super lazy) and probably isn't headed toward a stellar career.

I wouldn't give her anything beyond what's left in the fund. Let her decide whether she should take out loans (please don't cosign) to attend another college. You've been more than generous.
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Old 10-31-2010, 07:55 AM
 
Location: Denver
1,082 posts, read 4,183,858 times
Reputation: 530
I can't believe how harsh and mistrusting people are of a kid's motives, abilities, and willingness to get ahead. If you didn't like supporting another person why have kids and if you doubt their integrity what does that say about you as a parent? Economics are not what they used to be you can't expect things to be like the good old days.
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Old 10-31-2010, 02:44 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
84,282 posts, read 97,408,722 times
Reputation: 30745
I would be very reluctant to "write off" a 23 year old. Lots of people are "late bloomers". If she were 43, I'd be more inclined to say maybe college isn't for her.

How about making some sort of contract with her, e.g. pay for her schooling as long as she's getting decent grades and making progress?
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Old 11-02-2010, 05:20 AM
 
Location: Full time in the RV
2,652 posts, read 6,048,246 times
Reputation: 1988
Thanks to everyone who responded. My OP was two years ago and here is another update.

My kid is enrolled in, and paid for herself, the final math class she needs for her AS degree.

Like always she starts of enthusiastic and confident. So far, so good. She does have a different approach now that it is her money. She's also applied for graduation-for the third time.

I thought the old pattern had started the other day. It's an online class and a few days before it officially started she was having trouble with her access password and couldn't log in. After a few days of no help from tech support, teacher not returning emails etc she told me if she couldn't get in by X day she was going to have to drop the class. The class had not started and she was talking about dropping out. The difference this time is I didn't care since it wasn't my money.
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Old 11-10-2010, 07:51 AM
 
Location: NJ
8,686 posts, read 19,847,885 times
Reputation: 5584
Quote:
Originally Posted by RMD3819 View Post
I thought the old pattern had started the other day. It's an online class and a few days before it officially started she was having trouble with her access password and couldn't log in. After a few days of no help from tech support, teacher not returning emails etc she told me if she couldn't get in by X day she was going to have to drop the class. The class had not started and she was talking about dropping out. The difference this time is I didn't care since it wasn't my money.
Logging in can be a huge problem. My son had issues with one site.
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Old 11-10-2010, 04:36 PM
 
144 posts, read 240,806 times
Reputation: 162
I say get her through the two years (get the associates degree) and done.

She can always get a job with a company that pays tuition reimbursment and work on a 4 year degree part time and work full time. That is what I did.

If dorm rooms / Apartments are a big problem. Enroll her in an online college degree she can work on from home.

Or if college is not truely for her, try vocational training which is more of a hands on approach to learning. My wifes cousin left college after 3 years of it. decided he was better off learning a vocation and became an electrition.

I have a cousin who is almost 30 who didnt want college and didnt do the vocational thing either and is still dependent on his parents. YOU DONT WANT THAT FROM YOUR DAUGHTER.
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Old 11-10-2010, 04:38 PM
 
Location: Australia
1,492 posts, read 2,621,609 times
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What to do with my kids college fund?
Spend it.
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Old 11-10-2010, 04:41 PM
 
144 posts, read 240,806 times
Reputation: 162
oops, I didnt see the updated post before I posted previouse. I hope she can get thought the class and get her associates. Glad to hear she is close to it.
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Old 08-02-2011, 03:12 PM
 
Location: Full time in the RV
2,652 posts, read 6,048,246 times
Reputation: 1988
Update-

She passed her final class and graduated in December of 2010 with her AS.

DD took a semester off because of a health problem and just finished her first semester as a junior-two Bs and and A! For her this is like winning the Nobel prize.

The best part-she is way more motivated since it is her money now!
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Old 08-02-2011, 03:29 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,038 posts, read 21,782,813 times
Reputation: 35129
That's great! - thanks for the update!
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