OK for others to give candy and gifts to your children without asking you? (minors, clothes)

[Archaic]

If the answer is a universal "no," then I'm in big trouble. But I make sure my brothers and SILs get candy, too.

[Grlzrl]

Originally Posted by GSPNative

I am an uncle and have a preteen niece and a preteen nephew.

Is it OK for me to send them candy and gifts without getting permission from their parents?

They all were in town, and I was supposed to take my niece and nephew to a famous candy store. I did, but it was closed for the night when we arrived.

I’d like to ship my niece and nephew some candy from that store, since they were apparently looking forward to it, but I don’t want to be going behind their parents to do so.

Thanks.

One of the things that drove me nuts when I was a parent of small children is everyone giving them candy without asking me. Everywhere we went. Ask. It's the right thing to do.

[Grlzrl]

Originally Posted by Jean-Francois

As I was bringing my 4 y.o. granddaughter back from feeding the ducks around 10 years ago, my neighbour said, “Hey Jean, Bill’s filling the rubber paddling pool for our granddaughter, does Francesca want to come and jump in?”
Francesca’s face lit up, so I put my hand in my pocket and gave her a small candy bar to take in with her.
Almost immediately, little Evie next door appeared, saw Francesca’s candy and looked at me with enormous eyes.
I said, “Ask grandma if you can have some candy, if she says yes I’ll give you some.”
She said, “Why do I have to ask grandma?”
I said, “Because that’s the rules, I love you to pieces Evie, but if you want me to give you any candy, you have to ask grandma first.”

See that's nice, but you should ask the parent or grandparent first. If you don't, you put the parent or grandparent in the position of being the bad guy if they say no and set it up for a fight.

[RubyandPearl]

Ask parents first.

When the kids are late teens that'll be different.

But for now check in with the parents first before sending anything to the kids.

[usayit]

No.

I have twins that have allergic and digestive concerns. I wouldn't assume any child doesn't have similar concerns.

[Jean-Francois]

Originally Posted by Grlzrl

See that's nice, but you should ask the parent or grandparent first. If you don't, you put the parent or grandparent in the position of being the bad guy if they say no and set it up for a fight.

I know that your heart is in the right place, and that you meant well, but my grandkid took the candy bar that I gave her and rushed into my neighbour’s house right behind my neighbour.
Neighbour’s grandkid then came out and begged with her eyes for candy from me, I could hardly ask her to wait while I ran it past her grandma, so I said, “Ask your grandma if it’s okay to take a candy bar from Francesca’s grandpa.”

[WestGuest]

Speaking for the children --absolutely.

[KaraG]

When you got to the famous candy shop with the niece and nephew and it was closed, what was the conversation?

I would think you would have told them that you'd send them a box of treats since it was closed.

I'm thinking if the parents didn't have a problem with you taking them, they wouldn't have a problem with you sending them a package of candy. Get items that won't melt.

[BostonMike7]

No. Always check with the parents first.

My son has a peanut allergy and one day out of the corner of my eye i witnessed a relative (in their defense they didn't know as we don't see them often) offer my 3 year old son a (sealed) package of peanut butter cookies. I got there just in time before the package was opened and given to him. Could have been very bad.

[G-fused]

I am a parent and have a brother who has kids so I am also an Uncle. It has never occurred to me to ask if it is ok to send my nieces a gift. And My family members have never asked me if they can send my kid a gift. That seems odd to me, like they're not your family.

I thought this was going to be about non-family members.