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Old 05-15-2008, 07:47 PM
 
8,180 posts, read 11,023,290 times
Reputation: 2873

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I don't know how much more clear I can be but here goes again:

MAN UP ALREADY!!!

You chose to sleep with the girl, you chose to blow her off during her pregnancy, you chose not to tell your wife about her prior to marriage, now you have to deal with it. That means you pay, and you will pay till that boy is 18. If you were a real man, instead of bitching about $$ you would take care of your son both emotionally and financially or you would try to win sole custody of him if his mother is as big of a nutjob as you have implied.

Man up, dude, man up!!
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Old 05-15-2008, 09:08 PM
 
Location: St. Louis Metro East
515 posts, read 1,360,843 times
Reputation: 323
Wow... calm down, everyone! This man just asked a question, and you're jumping all over him! He never said it's a 3 year old son that he's never seen to attempted to see.. Where's the support for this guy? Sounds to me like he's doing his part, and it sick of her not doing hers...
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Old 05-15-2008, 09:37 PM
 
8,180 posts, read 11,023,290 times
Reputation: 2873
Quote:
Originally Posted by jtjmom View Post
Wow... calm down, everyone! This man just asked a question, and you're jumping all over him! He never said it's a 3 year old son that he's never seen to attempted to see.. Where's the support for this guy? Sounds to me like he's doing his part, and it sick of her not doing hers...

This is his second post on this.....
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Old 05-15-2008, 10:07 PM
 
Location: home
180 posts, read 549,178 times
Reputation: 115
geesh this man came here and put his business out there in hopes of getting some advice and some of these people can be cruel! it seems to me like he is taking care of his responsibilty, he screwed up and i guarantee that everyone else on these forums has goofed at least once, maybe not as bad but that makes us human. if he is paying his support and he is trying to go out there and be a father then kudos to him
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Old 05-16-2008, 07:55 AM
 
Location: Kansas
3,855 posts, read 11,447,965 times
Reputation: 1706
I think the OP needs to figure out what he is legally obligated to pay. This isn't the place to figure that out. There should be some sort of document that spells out exactly what his obligation is. And if there isn't then he needs to consult his lawyer. If this lady is hitting him up for money that he isn't legally obligated to pay then she is in the wrong. But if it doesn't clearly state what he is and is not obligated to pay then there is grey area here that is open to interpretation....and guess which way she is interpreting it....of course she would want more money.
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Old 05-16-2008, 08:00 AM
 
3,647 posts, read 9,292,306 times
Reputation: 5427
"I recently changed jobs and for the first 2 months I have to cover my own insurance through COBRA (fortunately I will be reimbursed). It's roughly $1200/mo for a family plan...for medical only. $300 actually sounds reasonable for medical, dental and vision."

Have you called private insurance companies? We're self-employed here in CO and I did... military COBRA was $900 per month. Private insurance for dh and kids, was like $400/mo (he has a med condition). Add me on and we get up to $900 and have to purchase it through an employer plan... out here maternity coverage is mandatory for women of child bearing age, hence the extra OUTRAGEOUS expense.
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Old 05-16-2008, 11:58 AM
 
Location: Kansas
3,855 posts, read 11,447,965 times
Reputation: 1706
Hmm....I had to do COBRA in order to be reimbursed for it. I didn't bother to check into private insurance. But I have to do coverage for myself + 3dependents (Actually 4 but there is no additional cost beyond 3 dep's).

My total for 2 months and 2 days worth of insurance was about $2500.
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Old 05-16-2008, 02:50 PM
 
Location: In My Own Little World. . .
3,238 posts, read 7,810,651 times
Reputation: 1596
Quote:
Originally Posted by laysayfair View Post
It's a way of saying "I know exactly what you mean" or "I've been there", when someone describes a character you've come in contact with.
Thank you so much. I was really confused.
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Old 05-18-2008, 11:03 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 85,923,634 times
Reputation: 39662
Quote:
Originally Posted by someonesdad View Post
i pay her 540 a month for child support and it costs me 300 a month of health insurance for him that includes optical and dental. my sons mom has only worked 2 weeks of he entire life and that was before she got pregnant. she sits on her butt collecting welfare for the other kid she has by someone else ( thank god). she is constantly threatening to take me to court for something. last month she didnt get her child support because she moved to kentucky and signed up for welfare there. she harrassed me everyday for the money and even left me a message on voicemail saying she needs the money because she has two kids to support on that money! of course i saved that message in case she does takeme to court. btw my son doesnt want anything to do with me because she has filled his head with so many lies. i really wish she would approach me to sign off rights because i would do it if the state would guarentee that she never contact me again. i would still pay for him because someone has got to!

You want to sign away your rights - geez, what a crappy thing to say. With a dad with this kind of attitude I see another prison statistic just waiting to happen. Sad, very sad.
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Old 05-19-2008, 10:50 AM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
34,430 posts, read 42,586,575 times
Reputation: 56969
It is too bad you didn't impregnate a better class of person. Since you didn't, make sure you follow your legal obligation to the letter, then take her to court immediately whenever she violates the orders.
Unfortunately, the courts do not care if she's being unfair to you. If you have any gray areas whatsoever in your compliance make sure you fix them before you go to court, or they are liable to nail you instead of her. I've seen this in my own family, where the father does nothing but give, give, give, and the mother still manages to nail him for more money.
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