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Oh yeah! My older child was in fifth grade, when I realized I AM 30 YRS OLD, I DO NOT HAVE TO DO HOMEWORK!! (or science projects!) Since them, things are much better for myself and my D. My son has always done his own. I know a mom (who is a good parent) who does her one child's homework, every night.
I always tell my children " I did my homework when I was in (their respective grade) and I don't need to do it again!"
We have a friend who will leave a party to go home and draw a bath for her 15 year old son!!! PLEASE!!!!
I believe that I use all styles in moderation. Each situation with my son is different & I'm either going to enforce the rules, just remind the rules, give a quick "look" or let it go. Depending, like I said.
My child is very happy, VERY independent & too smart sometimes!! He likes to see what he can get away with & pushes the limits, but he's almost 5, a boy & his father's son!!!
.............We have a friend who will leave a party to go home and draw a bath for her 15 year old son!!! PLEASE!!!!
OH NOW! 15 is beyond old enough to do that HIMSELF!! Yikes, you won't see me leaving a party for that! Maybe now, while my son is young, but if I'm at a party, he's happily at the babysitter's anyways!!
We set rules but are not over bearing. We are very involved with his activities and at his school. He knows what is expected and we work with him to make sure he achieves it. Having ADHD makes it difficult for him sometimes so we have learned how to get him to accomplish things and do them well. His teacher actually sent me an email yesterday to tell me how much of a good impression I've left on her this year b/c of my interest in what he is doing and in helping out the class as much as I can even though I work full time. He talks to us (as much as any 8 yr. old boy will) but he knows we are parents not friends. I will fight to the death for him but I expect him to hold up his end of things too.
We set rules but are not over bearing. We are very involved with his activities and at his school. He knows what is expected and we work with him to make sure he achieves it. Having ADHD makes it difficult for him sometimes so we have learned how to get him to accomplish things and do them well. His teacher actually sent me an email yesterday to tell me how much of a good impression I've left on her this year b/c of my interest in what he is doing and in helping out the class as much as I can even though I work full time. He talks to us (as much as any 8 yr. old boy will) but he knows we are parents not friends. I will fight to the death for him but I expect him to hold up his end of things too.
I LOVE this! So many parents get caught up in trying to be friends with their kids! I feel that my son has enough friends, I need to be his parent. Sure I talk to him about everything under the sun (we've already had "the sex talk" and "the drugs talk" among other things), but I don't force anything on him, and I always tell him he's free to talk to me or ask me about anything, even if its embarrassing or he thinks he'll get in trouble. I also do NOT tolerate lying. He is very aware that no matter what he does, if he lies about it, his punishment will be 10 times worse. And for the parent who's still drawing a bath for a 15 y/o, I think that's ridiculous. My oldest son is 8 and has been taking baths and showers independently since he was 6! My younger son (5) won't do showers (he has autism, and doesn't like the sound), but he still helps get his bath ready. I just don't understand parents who refuse to teach their kids life skills. Another thing I've noticed, is that kids don't seem to have any manners or respect anymore, and they have this attitude of entitlement. They also act like, no matter what they do, they can't be punished. I blame parents who are overly permissive, and protective to the point that they will complain to the school if their child is disciplined (appropriately of course) by a teacher. I fear for our future with some of the kids I see running around these days.....and now I feel old.
Not having a good mother figure in life had me in great confusion about my own child rearing abilities. Becoming a Montessori teacher taught me a lot of strategies to handle childrens bad behavior, how to keep everything clean and organized, how to model good behavior, how not to point out to their mistakes in a rough way, and chiefly how to instill good behavior in them. Other psychology books taught me about different parenting styles. Some Homeschool information sites have good strategies for positive handling of stressful situations with children.
Not having a good role model for a mother still keeps me at a loss all the time. I truly crave for that person who could have just been normal. I wonder why I was born to this particular woman. I just don't understand. Anyway, having her for a mother has taught me how not to neglect a child, and then abuse them badly to a point that there is no self esteem, no matter what I achieve, or what compliments I get.
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