Both my kids want to quit cheer squad WEEKS before competition. WWYD? (game, activity)
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I cannot believe your husband is encouraging them to just up and quit! If everything in life were that easy. Why isn't he on board in speaking to you, their mother, and the two of you discussing what should be done, instead of just going behind your back and "egging them on". I would NOT be happy.........
And he needs to realize this is just the beginning of his daughters' school activities and involvement. There will be girls who don't like them, and girls that they don't like, and gossip, and back-stabbing, and peer pressure...........Please teach him what teenage girls are really like to each other so he can be prepared for more drama happening to his daughters and learn how to deal with it (partnering with you and making decisions on what to do together for the best interests of your daughters).
Again...I get that sometimes we have to look long range and see the big picture. But in THIS very particular picture, I guess I don't see the point of hanging in there.
THIS group is being run by a bunch of monkeys. OP and the daughters know what good coaching is, because they previously HAD good coaching. Now they don't.
Women have always been taught to hang in there and suffer for the cause. Well...in this case...why? THIS group isn't going to see Olympic dreams, or win competititons. We know this because the coach doesn't coach.
I don't know...I just don't see the point.
Right. I also see the possibility that if they are forced to stay in, they’ll become disillusioned and ultimately decide they want to quit cheerleading entirely. They may pick up a lot of bad habits and be untaught everything good they learned from that initial coach. My guess is that the dad is probably seeing this is a possibility and would prefer they cut their losses now instead if having kids who have trouble on future teams because they are used to being on a squat with no discipline whatsoever.
Is there value in teaching commitment? Sure.
Is there also value in having happy, non-miserable children? Sure.
Is there value in teaching about boundaries and that you don't have to get walked all over? Absolutely.
This sounds like a dysfunctional, waste of money that is making your children miserable.
If it were just the girls complaining it would be one thing. I'd want to know how much was over dramatization on their parts, and I would consider that maybe the girls getting the better positions on the squad were just better. But the mother is saying it's poorly run. That they had a better program last year. The fact that there is no professional coach involved in this would be a big factor for me in giving it the old heave ho.
How many weeks are left of this? That would come into play for me. Three weeks is one thing. Three months, another. Do the girls complain about many things in general or is this cheer group a big first for complaints?
Perhaps it might be beneficial if the Mother (or Father, although he seems to be wanting to bail) managed to get to more of the practices. If the girls are being bullied I would want to know in what ways and if I could put and end to it.
It seems that the only person disappointed is you. Let them quit. They're unhappy. It's costing a lot of money and time, neither of which is in abundance.
Too much girl drama. This was your dream, not theirs until you put them on the teams.
I wouldn't waste my money or time on a parent led cheer squad. The whole thing sounds very unprofessional and unorganized.
That's clearly why half of the squad didn't return. That alone should have been a big red flag. If I am spending money on travel cheer, it's going to be with a reputable organization with professional coaches.
As others have said you all sound miserable and this does not seem like a good fit or like an enjoyable activity (like it's supposed to be).
If your girls want to cheer, you should find a different gym/team that is a better fit for your family. Finding a better program is not quitting to me.
Since you have cheer experience you could always get involved and volunteer to assist?
If my mom had been like that I would have just gotten myself kicked off the team.
I would not have put up with drama, favoritism and cliques, which seem to be allowed and encouraged by the adults.
There were many things I tried and came home and was like I am not going back because the people were so weird and dysfunctional that I wasn't about to go back.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lodestar 77
I cannot believe your husband is encouraging them to just up and quit! If everything in life were that easy. Why isn't he on board in speaking to you, their mother, and the two of you discussing what should be done, instead of just going behind your back and "egging them on". I would NOT be happy.........
And he needs to realize this is just the beginning of his daughters' school activities and involvement. There will be girls who don't like them, and girls that they don't like, and gossip, and back-stabbing, and peer pressure...........Please teach him what teenage girls are really like to each other so he can be prepared for more drama happening to his daughters and learn how to deal with it (partnering with you and making decisions on what to do together for the best interests of your daughters).
Say what? Not all teenage girls are not like that. Toxic teenage girls are and luckily they are not the majority. That behavior shouldn't be accepted and by staying and allowing them to be on the receiving end of this pretentious clique is a waste of time and detrimental to their mental health.
To sit there and say "oh this is normal girl behavior" is just enabling the toxic behavior.
This situation isn’t working for anybody in the family. To me the lesson that can be learned here is that Mom listens to me and puts my emotional well-being first.
So... if by "cheer" you mean they're just doing dance routines with nothing dangerous involved, perhaps they stick it out for a few more... weeks, months? How long are we talking?
But the cheer teams even at the introductory level at our local middle schools do fairly dangerous gymnastic flips. They do (forgive me for getting the terminology wrong) those things where the girls all make pyramids and hold each other up, then the girls on top do flips and the girls on the bottom catch them.
That sort of thing would be quite dangerous if a parent who had zero idea what they were doing was the one teaching and supervising things. I would not want my child participating unless there was an experienced, well-trained coach at the helm of the team.
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