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My daughter is six yo & in kindergarten and she's gone through the same thing this year. Four girls in her class formed a clique and decided that they were going to bully the other girls in the class. My daughter is very agreeable and gets along with everyone. She tried her hardest to be peaceful but we had a lot of tears. Examples of this behavior from these girls included: sitting next to my daughter and sticking tongue out at my daughter and pinching her underneath the desk when the teacher's back was turned, coming up to my daughter and slapping her for no reason, coming back a few minutes later and telling her she loves her, stealing food from her lunch, kicking her in the stomach and calling her names (like stupid, dumb and ugly) for no reason. The teacher was not oblivious and used a lot of energy trying to teach these girls how to be friends. It got to the point that she started to call these girls the "four corners" because she made them sit at four opposite sides in the classroom and during circle activities. She finally told my daughter that they were bullies, explained what a bully is and that my daughter should just avoid them at this point. I found this solution to be so sad but I couldn't think of another one either. To avoid these girls, my daughter and three other girls became friends. They play together but are not an inclusive clique. One of the mother's of the four corners approached another mom and said that she was very upset with our daughters because they were not including her daughter in their playing. She said she didn't want her daughter playing with these other girls and wanted our children to make an effort. Our daughters are scared of her daughter. Her daughter is not the meanest of the bunch but she is not a very nice little girl and I absolutely don't want my daughter playing with her. Girls of any age are just mean. It just makes me sad that it starts earlier and earlier now. I'm just happy it's summer vacation and I will pray that we don't have these girls in our next year (but who knows -- maybe there will be someone else next year)
My daughter is six yo & in kindergarten and she's gone through the same thing this year. Four girls in her class formed a clique and decided that they were going to bully the other girls in the class. My daughter is very agreeable and gets along with everyone. She tried her hardest to be peaceful but we had a lot of tears. Examples of this behavior from these girls included: sitting next to my daughter and sticking tongue out at my daughter and pinching her underneath the desk when the teacher's back was turned, coming up to my daughter and slapping her for no reason, coming back a few minutes later and telling her she loves her, stealing food from her lunch, kicking her in the stomach and calling her names (like stupid, dumb and ugly) for no reason. The teacher was not oblivious and used a lot of energy trying to teach these girls how to be friends. It got to the point that she started to call these girls the "four corners" because she made them sit at four opposite sides in the classroom and during circle activities. She finally told my daughter that they were bullies, explained what a bully is and that my daughter should just avoid them at this point. I found this solution to be so sad but I couldn't think of another one either. To avoid these girls, my daughter and three other girls became friends. They play together but are not an inclusive clique. One of the mother's of the four corners approached another mom and said that she was very upset with our daughters because they were not including her daughter in their playing. She said she didn't want her daughter playing with these other girls and wanted our children to make an effort. Our daughters are scared of her daughter. Her daughter is not the meanest of the bunch but she is not a very nice little girl and I absolutely don't want my daughter playing with her. Girls of any age are just mean. It just makes me sad that it starts earlier and earlier now. I'm just happy it's summer vacation and I will pray that we don't have these girls in our next year (but who knows -- maybe there will be someone else next year)
I'd suggest talking to your principal now about class assignments for next year. After you explain what you've written here they should be very accomodating in making sure these girls are not in the same class as yours next year.
If this starts again next year it's time to get the administration involved, kids who start out this way need to be "nipped in the bud" before they get older and expand the bullying. There are plenty of counseling options at that age that can show these little girls exactly how mean they're being and how this can destroy children if it continues but you have to get them when they're young and not set in their ways.
Good luck and don't tolorate this for another year!
My daughter was picked on by a group of girls in one of her classes (she was in the 9th grade), and her teacher was also oblivious. However, my daughter fell apart one day in the class following this one, and that teacher sent her to the office, and FINALLY someone got involved. They talked to all the girls, and their parents, but the best thing they did was made sure that my daughter didn't have any of these girls in any of her classes, or lunch, for the next semester. That helped a lot.
Wow it's sad to know that so many little girls are going through this too. It's so disturbing to see that it's starting in kindergarten and some parents think it's cute!!
I'd suggest talking to your principal now about class assignments for next year. After you explain what you've written here they should be very accomodating in making sure these girls are not in the same class as yours next year.
If this starts again next year it's time to get the administration involved, kids who start out this way need to be "nipped in the bud" before they get older and expand the bullying. There are plenty of counseling options at that age that can show these little girls exactly how mean they're being and how this can destroy children if it continues but you have to get them when they're young and not set in their ways.
Good luck and don't tolorate this for another year!
I completely agree with the bolded part of your post. And these idiot bullies don't realize that they are also putting themselves in harm's way. There are a new breed of kids out here that have a "shoot first, ask questions later" mentality. Many of them won't even bother fighting the bully anymore when they can easily eliminate them using a gun or other means. So for all the parents of bullies who think its so cute and "kids will be kids", this is a new day and you better wake up.
I'm so glad that story broke where the parents are suing the school for their son being bullied. I believe school administrators, teachers, bus drivers, lunch ladies, etc need to be held more accountable. I understand it may be tough to curb in high schools. But kindergarten, 1st, 2nd, 3rd grade? They can't handle a 9 year old bully? That is unacceptable. If more parents sued the schools, even if they didn't win, just the time being spent in court I bet the schools would make more of an effort to end bullying then.
I had a group of girls from another school that use to bully me everyday on my way home from school. This went on for a long time..... until one day, I spotted one all by herself... the leader of the group. I chased her for a long way, screaming at her to come on and fight like the bad a** she thought she was when her friends were around. I screamed at her what a coward she was without her friend to back her up and not to worry, I would catch them ALL alone sooner or later and get them ALL! I told her I may not catch her today but I would catch her and give her a lot of pay back! I never saw any of them again after that.
I realize in todays world and your childs situation, it is different.. To bad you don't have one of those real small video recorders to give your daughter to get it on video as it is happening and let their parents see it on the 5 o'clock news!
It's sad that so many little girls have this happen to them. My daughter saw the movie "Mean Girls" and sees how this is happening to her, she calls the girls who bully her the "plastic's". Unfortunately the girls who are mean to her will never change because their parents don't think that their little darlings ever do anything wrong. Until some of these parents realize that their daughters are the problem and take steps to
deal with them nothing will ever change.
I'm so glad that story broke where the parents are suing the school for their son being bullied. I believe school administrators, teachers, bus drivers, lunch ladies, etc need to be held more accountable. I understand it may be tough to curb in high schools. But kindergarten, 1st, 2nd, 3rd grade? They can't handle a 9 year old bully? That is unacceptable. If more parents sued the schools, even if they didn't win, just the time being spent in court I bet the schools would make more of an effort to end bullying then.
We are considering this right now. Unfortunately it will make us REAL unpopular in town but I'm tired of hearing "boys will be boys" or my favorite, "he must have done something to ask for it"...
Ya know, I hate any type of bullying! Young girls and boys can be so MEAN and obnoxious! When I was in 4th, 5th and 6th grade I was mercilessly picked on. It got to the point where some of the kids were spitting gum in my hair and even kicking and punching me. What was the reason for all this bullying? I had developed early and wore a training bra, that's it.
My parents went to the principal, spoke with the teacher's, and nothing changed. Back then, bullying wasn't taken too seriously by the school. So eventually, my mother used to drive to the school and wait in the parking lot while we were at recess. When one of the kids started bullying me, she jumped out of her car and started yelling at them. The kids got scared and ran off. Plus one of the teacher's FINALLY stood up for me and told them that bullying was unacceptable.
During the summer before 7th grade, I lost some weight, grew my hair and started wearing a tiny bit of makeup. When I started 7th grade, all of those horrible kids that were once bullying me wanted to be my friend. Of course I ignored them, and went on to become quite popular. But I must say, I was scarred emotionally from all that abuse for a very very long time. I had thoughts of murder, suicide, depression..It took years of therapy to finally overcome my rage and helplessness.
One thing that was interesting is that last year, I bumped into one of the meanest bullies. He didn't recognize me. But I recognized him and we started talking about elementary school. He apologized PROFUSELY, and said back then he was a complete jerk and was very unhappy at home.
Well, I do want to say that I feel for you and your daughter. I recommend that you possibly go to the school board and or PTA and make a complaint. Bullying is not to be tolerated!!!!!! Also, how would your daughter's school feel if there was an article in the newspaper stating that they don't do anything to stop bullying. I am sure they wouldn't want negative press. As a last resort, I would take her out of school and homeschool her (if possible)...OR change schools.
I hate to alarm you, but being the scapeboat for bullies can lead to some dangerous thoughts....
Also, I forgot to mention, last year my son was being bullied by this skinny, obnoxious kid during aftercare. In fact, he got kicked in his privates by this kid. I told my son if that should ever happen again, he should punch the sh*t out of this kid. Fortunatly, this boy's action led him to be kicked out of aftercare (CLAPPING!!).
However, they both ended up in the same cubscout group. One day, I saw his parents and we started talking. When I told them the story of their son bullying mine, they said their son would NEVER do such a thing. Needless to say, we ended up transferring to a different group anyway. But my point is, some of these parents are clueless and or in denial. I was ready to b**ch slap them.
Also, I forgot to mention, last year my son was being bullied by this skinny, obnoxious kid during aftercare. In fact, he got kicked in his privates by this kid. I told my son if that should ever happen again, he should punch the sh*t out of this kid. Fortunatly, this boy's action led him to be kicked out of aftercare (CLAPPING!!).
However, they both ended up in the same cubscout group. One day, I saw his parents and we started talking. When I told them the story of their son bullying mine, they said their son would NEVER do such a thing. Needless to say, we ended up transferring to a different group anyway. But my point is, some of these parents are clueless and or in denial. I was ready to b**ch slap them.
They must've been totally delusional, seeing that the boy got kicked out of aftercare. Didn't they know the reason?
My kids are too young to be in school, but I am finding this thread really informative. Thanks to everyone who is sharing stories and perspectives.
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