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Don't ask anything of a child you are not willing to do yourself.
Don't treat a child in ways you yourself would object to be treated.
(This is a good one for yelling, name-calling, shaming, humiliation, derision, criticism, hitting, spanking, punishment, and diminishment of any kind.)
Whatever you are asking a child to do, are you willing to do that yourself?
However you are treating a child, or speaking to a child, or whatever you are asking of a child.....consider how you would feel if you were being treated that way.
So following this model when does my child start work? I'm willing and have to work 12 hours a day so they should do the same right? Oh wait, the work environment might diminish them.
No critisism,punishment,yelling,humiliation or diminishment of any kind? You really can't be serious
I guess I should just place the little dickens up on a pedistal and give nothing but complements and high praise when he/she does what most any kid does from time to time like lying,breaking things,being disrespectful etc? How about when they refuse to mind? Take 'em out for ice cream?
Please spare me...
Children are not little adults, they are children and as such cannot be related to as an adult would.
If you say no, mean it and enforce it. In the same respect, don't say no if you don't mean it, or if you have no intention of enforcing it. Consistency is key!
So following this model when does my child start work? I'm willing and have to work 12 hours a day so they should do the same right? Oh wait, the work environment might diminish them.
No critisism,punishment,yelling,humiliation or diminishment of any kind? You really can't be serious
I guess I should just place the little dickens up on a pedistal and give nothing but complements and high praise when he/she does what most any kid does from time to time like lying,breaking things,being disrespectful etc? How about when they refuse to mind? Take 'em out for ice cream?
Please spare me...
Children are not little adults, they are children and as such cannot be related to as an adult would.
Thank you!!!! I thought I was the only one that was thinking this was a little off the wall. Kids are kids, show me a parent who never yells at their child and I will show you a child who runs the household.
No critisism,punishment,yelling,humiliation or diminishment of any kind? You really can't be serious. Children are not little adults, they are children and as such cannot be related to as an adult would.
Children are human beings in smaller bodies.
They are worthy of every courtesy, respect, kindness and dignity.
When my daughter had an allergic reaction to a drug people are not usually allergic to, my dr. said, "She's not supposed to be allergic to this, but she didn't read the books." I generalized that to mean each kid is quirky and won't do things exactly by the book, any book.
When my daughter had an allergic reaction to a drug people are not usually allergic to, my dr. said, "She's not supposed to be allergic to this, but she didn't read the books." I generalized that to mean each kid is quirky and won't do things exactly by the book, any book.
LOL I like that one too. When people said my son should be sleeping through the night at 8 months because that's what the books said, a friend would reply, "Well he hasn't read that book" I love it!
What was the best advice you recieved that sent the light bulb on in you. Even if your children are grown up, in middle or high school, just post your reply.
I think what DimSumRaja is saying is that you can set firm limits but do so with "courtesy, respect, kindness and dignity." You don't need to shame, belittle, berate, yell, and hit to be effective with disciplining kids.
I've noticed that my children respond really well to hearing, "These are the family rules," rather than, "You shouldn't do X."
Of course I can say this now but yesterday I was so tired I was snapping at my children and longing for a nap. Some days it is harder than others to live up to my theoretical parenting ideal.
I think what DimSumRaja is saying is that you can set firm limits but do so with "courtesy, respect, kindness and dignity." You don't need to shame, belittle, berate, yell, and hit to be effective with disciplining kids.
I've noticed that my children respond really well to hearing, "These are the family rules," rather than, "You shouldn't do X."
Of course I can say this now but yesterday I was so tired I was snapping at my children and longing for a nap. Some days it is harder than others to live up to my theoretical parenting ideal.
Not all children are the same so I feel you should have a big "toolbox" full of things to choose from. If one thing doesn't work then switch to another. A swat to the behind is usually the last resort. As for shame,yell etc, if the situation calls for it then it's a tool that'll be used. I certainly am not going to reason with my child as he's runing into the street in front of a car (I would definately yell at him) just as I'm not going to tell my 16 yr old that he's the most precious brilliant child for taking the car, getting drunk with his friends and rolling it. That's STUPID no matter how you look at it wouldn't you say? Thankfully we've not had to deal with that but know several who have.
You see, yes children deserve respect when they earn it and disrespect when they earn that and sometimes a swat on the rear when the situation calls for it.
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I'm willing and have to work 12 hours a day so they should do the same right? Oh wait, the work environment might diminish them.
Kids are kids, show me a parent who never yells at their child and I will show you a child who runs the household.
