Inconsiderate Parents (child care, meal, out of control, toddler)
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To be honest, nearly every single school event during the time my twins were in elementary school (that required sitting in an auditorium) was ruined by toddlers acting like toddlers (in the wrong place and at the wrong time), yelling, talking loud, standing on the chair in front of you (then you and everyone else behind you can't see the stage). And parents who either talked while the other kids were performing and would stand to video their child's performance blocking the view of everyone else behind them.
In learned finally to stand in the back of the auditorium instead of sitting down. I could SEE the whole performance and could easily move to the side a few feet to get away from those who were sitting in the back and wanted to talk.
I think the school should actually start enforcing the rule at some point in time, and maybe modify the rule to say "no children under [age]" so that older kids can be allowed to watch their siblings. When we lived up north, parent-teacher conferences and curriculum night meetings were strictly no children. Some parents tried to bring in toddlers and were politely sent home with brochures. They lost the opportunity to go into the Q&A session, which would have been downright difficult if not impossible if you were running around chasing a toddler. If the school were to allow children this age to come, then they should also provide a separate area for "childcare". Parents who choose to bring their children were advised that the library or the cafeteria has volunteers to watch their children for a nominal fee. When people see that other parents can bring their toddlers/young children to functions like these, it would be harder to enforce it next time and would create a lot of animosity among parents.
I think the school should actually start enforcing the rule at some point in time, and maybe modify the rule to say "no children under [age]" so that older kids can be allowed to watch their siblings. When we lived up north, parent-teacher conferences and curriculum night meetings were strictly no children. Some parents tried to bring in toddlers and were politely sent home with brochures. They lost the opportunity to go into the Q&A session, which would have been downright difficult if not impossible if you were running around chasing a toddler. If the school were to allow children this age to come, then they should also provide a separate area for "childcare". Parents who choose to bring their children were advised that the library or the cafeteria has volunteers to watch their children for a nominal fee. When people see that other parents can bring their toddlers/young children to functions like these, it would be harder to enforce it next time and would create a lot of animosity among parents.
But what alot of these schools don't understand is that some parents, like myself, have no access to babysitting. Last yr when my son started middle school, I had to go to orientation night. Husband was out of town for work, middle son had football, all my neighbors were at this function so no babysitter for my toddler. I had to go, had to take the the toddler with me no choice. This school is huge and there was no way I could send my oldest to school without him knowing where his locker was or where any of his classrooms were. It sucked but it had to be done.
Some people may think I was horrible for bringing him but I had no choice. I have no family nearby to help, some of my neighbors I wouldn't allow to watch my goldfish let alone my child. Do I feel "entitled" to bring my youngest to events such as these. No I would rather leave him home, but there are times that I can't. This was one of those times. If my child causes a distraction, I take him out. Please don't judge every gen/x parent by the few bad eggs you see.
moving - I think your case is different from where silence and/or full attention is necessary such as concerts, induction ceremonies, etc. Orientation in most schools is a fairly informal and casual event so toddlers are not out of place there! That's why I said for things where toddlers could be disruptive, the schools could provide childcare services for the hour or two for a fee, in consideration of parents who just do not have the option of getting a babysitter.
moving - I think your case is different from where silence and/or full attention is necessary such as concerts, induction ceremonies, etc. Orientation in most schools is a fairly informal and casual event so toddlers are not out of place there! That's why I said for things where toddlers could be disruptive, the schools could provide childcare services for the hour or two for a fee, in consideration of parents who just do not have the option of getting a babysitter.
I think your idea is a good one and I think I'm going to suggest it to the administrators at my son's school for future events.
I totally understand the OP's situation where you have a spouse out of town and no family nearby and no help. Even at an induction ceremony or concert, parents in those situations can sit near the back or on the side, near a door, and make a quick exit in case jr. or missy gets out of hand. I have no problem with that.
But the situation I experienced the other night included many two parent families with all their kids in tow (husband and I sat right next to such a family). Kiddies were all over the chairs, jumping, standing up, talking, singing, you get the picture. Mom and Dad just sat there. And btw, it looked like most of these kids were well over 5 years old.
Noone is adressing the Parent who *has* to bring the Kids and then leaves when Kids get unruly. ( I had to do the same thing)
We are talking about the ones who think we the other Parents should have to watch their Kids not getting into our things, or having to listen to the kids yelling ,screaming,,,,,, running thru the Isle.
Our school tried sending away some Parents or even asked them to take the Kids outside to settle them down, the Dad got up yelled a few * nasty* words and left, but not without cussing and swearing........ and there was plenty of others who * played* that they didnt hear, the
* please leave the Autitorium if youre CHild/children are having a rough time sitting still or can not be quiet as this will interrupt and break the Kids concentration trying to preform in this Concert*
I thought it was put very nicely...but the * parents * fellt offended. Please NO children....
Noone is adressing the Parent who *has* to bring the Kids and then leaves when Kids get unruly. ( I had to do the same thing)
We are talking about the ones who think we the other Parents should have to watch their Kids not getting into our things, or having to listen to the kids yelling ,screaming,,,,,, running thru the Isle.
Our school tried sending away some Parents or even asked them to take the Kids outside to settle them down, the Dad got up yelled a few * nasty* words and left, but not without cussing and swearing........ and there was plenty of others who * played* that they didnt hear, the
* please leave the Autitorium if youre CHild/children are having a rough time sitting still or can not be quiet as this will interrupt and break the Kids concentration trying to preform in this Concert*
I thought it was put very nicely...but the * parents * fellt offended. Please NO children....
I do agree that people nowadays do have an excessive lack of manners. You are right in that aspect. I guess what irritated me is that it seems that everywhere I go lately, young children are banned from attending things. How are we as parents (while I realize a lot of parents stink) supposed to teach our children how to act appropriately in public if we are not allowed to take them anywhere. I would think a school function, (alright maybe not a concert) would be a little more tolerant of understanding toddlers. Do you know what I mean.
It's also possible I am a little more sensitive to this as my cousin is getting married and were told that children weren't allowed at the ceremony, but I am supposed to drive or fly 1200 miles so my kids can't attend?!!! I know its her day, but still, my kids would have enjoyed seeing her get married (she's their favorite cousin)so once again a few bad eggs have ruined it for everyone else.
Sorry if I sounded defensive, it just gets frustrating some times. You try to raise your kids right and have well behaved kids but as soon as people see you have little ones with you, you start to get funny looks like uh oh, great here comes some noisy kids wherever you go. I just get tired of it sometimes.
Moving... kudos to you! I am in the same situation, though when my older kids were younger, I also had a young special needs child that had to be taken everywhere with me, as I was a single mom.
I guess what gets me is that my own parents are like the problem parents we're discussing here, and I'm a gen Xer! Yes, it was my mom who talks through the concerts, my mom who insists on standing in everyone else's way to get her picture... It was embarrassing to me as a kid, and even more so now that she's doing it sitting right next to me at my own choldren's functions. Yesterday, at my son's 8th grade graduation, she was a little perturbed that I refused to stand in front of everyone else while taping! I just did it from my seat. That's what the zoom is for, right?! Though yes, It troubles me as well taht there are a large number of parents in my own generation who lack manners and/or common sense!
(Entitlement is not a common sense... just senseless lol)
I do agree that people nowadays do have an excessive lack of manners. You are right in that aspect. I guess what irritated me is that it seems that everywhere I go lately, young children are banned from attending things. How are we as parents (while I realize a lot of parents stink) supposed to teach our children how to act appropriately in public if we are not allowed to take them anywhere. I would think a school function, (alright maybe not a concert) would be a little more tolerant of understanding toddlers. Do you know what I mean.
It's also possible I am a little more sensitive to this as my cousin is getting married and were told that children weren't allowed at the ceremony, but I am supposed to drive or fly 1200 miles so my kids can't attend?!!! I know its her day, but still, my kids would have enjoyed seeing her get married (she's their favorite cousin)so once again a few bad eggs have ruined it for everyone else.
Sorry if I sounded defensive, it just gets frustrating some times. You try to raise your kids right and have well behaved kids but as soon as people see you have little ones with you, you start to get funny looks like uh oh, great here comes some noisy kids wherever you go. I just get tired of it sometimes.
People can be quite insensitive when it comes to things like banning kids from weddings. I fully respect anyone's right to do that, and understand why they do it. I have seen many a special occasion ruined by bratty kids (but I blame the parents for not taking them out or disciplining them properly-depending on circumstance). I would simply not spend the $$ to go to someone's wedding if I had to fly and leave my kids behind. That is just me.
On the other hand, why didn't your relatives stop and think about the situation they were putting you in, and make some preparations on your behalf? And this is what schools could do, too. Why not have a special room at the church (or wedding venue) for kids and hire several caretakers for them? Same at school. Why couldn't a few nurses and/or teachers be paid to look after kids that had to come? I know my family and friends and church used to make arrangements like this! And we moms would chip in $$ to pay for our kids to participate.
Seems people are not willing to think things through. If an event is for parents who have children (such as at school or a recital) why isn't someone using some forethought and providing an area - and professional caretakers - to look after kids? It is all a liability issue now and so no one will do this anymore? My generation sure did. Have things gotten so litigious that no one is willing to provide childcare at events anymore??
People can be quite insensitive when it comes to things like banning kids from weddings. I fully respect anyone's right to do that, and understand why they do it. I have seen many a special occasion ruined by bratty kids (but I blame the parents for not taking them out or disciplining them properly-depending on circumstance). I would simply not spend the $$ to go to someone's wedding if I had to fly and leave my kids behind. That is just me.
On the other hand, why didn't your relatives stop and think about the situation they were putting you in, and make some preparations on your behalf? And this is what schools could do, too. Why not have a special room at the church (or wedding venue) for kids and hire several caretakers for them? Same at school. Why couldn't a few nurses and/or teachers be paid to look after kids that had to come? I know my family and friends and church used to make arrangements like this! And we moms would chip in $$ to pay for our kids to participate.
Seems people are not willing to think things through. If an event is for parents who have children (such as at school or a recital) why isn't someone using some forethought and providing an area - and professional caretakers - to look after kids? It is all a liability issue now and so no one will do this anymore? My generation sure did. Have things gotten so litigious that no one is willing to provide childcare at events anymore??
You know the more I thought about suggesting this idea to my son's school administrators, the more I thought of the "liability" angle. I highly doubt a school would be able to take on the liability of watching others' kids (especially kids that aren't students at the school). But it's a great idea. It seems like we just can't act like a community anymore and help each other out without worrying about "liability." Maybe that's why people appear to only think of themselves anymore.
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