Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It's an honest request and they have their reasons. It's also an insensitive request.
For those that have younger kids they expect only one parent to attend, no parents to attend, for you to get a babysitter, or for your child to not attend at all.
Babysitters don't work for peanuts these days. Also my child's school has a tendency to send out these anouncements at the 11th hour and by the time we see it it's way too late to get a babysitter or make other arrangements.
Side note: We've also gotten invitations/notices for event's that happened the day before. Lovely organization.
Situations like this happen all the time. Our school has a no-siblings policy in the classroom. For class parties and so on, younger siblings can't attend. This is well and good and I can understand that. The teachers were getting frustrated because younger siblings entered the classroom and would trash it and some of the parents wouldn't clean up or didn't notice the wreckage. My issue is the 11th hour information. We usually find out about class parties and whatnot at the last minute (day before). The day before makes it impossible to find a babysitter. My poor kindergartener has been upset all year because I haven't been able to attend anything. I signed up for the end of year party and now I won't be able to participate because there has been no information as to when it is and I need to know for childcare purposes. My husband doesn't appreciate when I ask him to take a few hours off from work the day before. Our school requires 40 hours of volunteering at school. If we don't volunteer, we can opt out and pay $400 ($10/hr). I was sad to admit that it's easier for me give them the $400 because a babysitter in our area costs $15/hr. I'm sure the cost benefit (volunteering and making my two older ones happy versus spending a ton of unnecessary childcare expenses) plays out but it's been a tough thing.
At every single school event I've attended this year, people have been rude. Between younger siblings making noise and ignorant parents talking--it can be a toss up as to who is ruder.
I am starting to wonder if this is just the way society is evolving...total disrespect for others unless it directly affects you.
I want to know if this is typical behavior everyone (and not just where I live). I've recently been to two school functions (one a band performance and the other a ceremony). During the band performance a parent whom I know and another person behind my husband and I talked during the ENTIRE performance. They didn't whisper - they TALKED! Of course common sense would tell a person that this is rude, but the school even stated in the program "Please, no talking during performances, it ruins it for others..." Then the other night I had a ceremony to attend at my son's middle school. The invitation stated quite clearly - two adults per student ONLY - no children. Well, there were little kids everyone, hollering, hopping around, being disruptive. My husband and I were so fed up. Have people lost their minds and their manners? Do you all see this at your school functions or do people where you live have both class and manners? Just wondering
I see this as one of the problems, seems only here in America among the natives, no one ever tells anyone anything. Everyone here is so into faking their emotions and so afraid of any little confrontation it is ridiculous. Its like we are living in some Stalinist society where everyone is afraid to confront each other.
How about you act like an adult and turn around and tell them to shut up. At the function, you need to drag who is ever in charge of it and show them clearly that it says no kids and they either need to do away with the rule or enforce it.
I want to know if this is typical behavior everyone (and not just where I live). I've recently been to two school functions (one a band performance and the other a ceremony). During the band performance a parent whom I know and another person behind my husband and I talked during the ENTIRE performance. They didn't whisper - they TALKED! Of course common sense would tell a person that this is rude, but the school even stated in the program "Please, no talking during performances, it ruins it for others..." Then the other night I had a ceremony to attend at my son's middle school. The invitation stated quite clearly - two adults per student ONLY - no children. Well, there were little kids everyone, hollering, hopping around, being disruptive. My husband and I were so fed up. Have people lost their minds and their manners? Do you all see this at your school functions or do people where you live have both class and manners? Just wondering
Why not just turn around and tell them to shut their pie hole? No offense, but why do people complain, but fail to try to correct the problem? I a nice southern guy, but if you get on my nerves, you'll know it.
Have people lost their manners? Yes, because society has become so passive and weak, nearly everyone is afraid to say anything to anyone in some sort of superficial fear of offending them, meanwhile they set there offended.
Not me, and if I make someone mad they've got the same pants to get happy in.
Oh my gosh!! I was just discussing this very topic with my husband. At our son's Kinder graduation there was this man and woman behind us and the man kept commenting on what people were wearing, making fun of little kids, etc, etc! They were very rude. They were probably in their 50s - 60s. And I totally understand about taking kids with you to a concert or performance. When our daughter had a band concert and our son was a toddler, either me or my husband would take him out to the foyer to run around. We did not want him disturbing others or taking away from the performance. We are in our mid to late 30s but we have been taught by OUR parents not to be rude or disrespectful. You'd be surprised at how many people like that I WORK with :O
Why not just turn around and tell them to shut their pie hole? No offense, but why do people complain, but fail to try to correct the problem? I a nice southern guy, but if you get on my nerves, you'll know it.
Have people lost their manners? Yes, because society has become so passive and weak, nearly everyone is afraid to say anything to anyone in some sort of superficial fear of offending them, meanwhile they set there offended.
Not me, and if I make someone mad they've got the same pants to get happy in.
You are right. I turned around and gave her "the look," but I didn't say anything. I should have. I was trying to get my message across by "the look" since she was a neighbor of mine.
But I'll tell you about when I DID tell someone they were in the wrong (just a few days ago). The entry way of my neighbhorhood is very narrow and quickly leads to a windy road. Some numb-nut was washing his truck under the big tree in the entry way - blocking any drivers view of on-coming traffic in order to safely turn left into my cul-de-sac. Numb-nut was also parked by a fire hydrant. Obviously this guy was in the wrong. I asked him if he lived in the neighborhood (we have a neighborhood crime watch and I didn't recognize him). He said, "no." I TOLD him to move his truck, that it was blocking the view of on-coming traffic and he was parked illegally by a fire hydrant. Ok, I spoke up. He was gave me a snipey response that he basically wasn't going to move. So I told him I'd call the sherrif, to which he started calling me the "b" word - over and over again while I walked to my house - insulting me to "get a life - get a job, etal." I call the sherrif and this guy has to move - he moves his truck down in front of one of my neighbor's house (he was a friend of theirs - I didn't know, but still would have told him to move his truck regardless). Now said neighbors are mad at me b/c I told their friend to move. It's like "HUH?" This jerk was in the wrong, sherrif said so, too, jerk calls me a name and insults me, and I'm in the wrong? Ok, I spoke up - but that's what he tend to get when you speak up.
Society doesn't care about the rules unless they apply to someone else. Sometimes I think being a hermit is the only way to go.
I see this as one of the problems, seems only here in America among the natives, no one ever tells anyone anything. Everyone here is so into faking their emotions and so afraid of any little confrontation it is ridiculous. Its like we are living in some Stalinist society where everyone is afraid to confront each other.
How about you act like an adult and turn around and tell them to shut up. At the function, you need to drag who is ever in charge of it and show them clearly that it says no kids and they either need to do away with the rule or enforce it.
You are right. Our society has become so politically correct or whatever that we are all afraid of offending one another. Believe it or not, I'm the one who usually speaks up - often. And no matter how diplomatic you are in confronting people, they WILL be offended.
I can honestly say that if I was the jerk washing his truck in a bad spot and in front of a fire hydrant and someone pointed all that out to me I would be more than happy to move and I would thank that person for pointing it out to me.
I have a question, since we are talking about inconsiderate parents and children behaving in social settings . . .
I was at a family reunion, with about 100 people. There were children of all ages, as well as adults as old as 93. The event lasted about four hours. Everything went very smoothly . . . except for one family, who had a 3 y/o and a 5 y/o. There children were totally out of control the whole event. There were other children their ages, plus babies and many older kids. The parents left early and they were angry w/ the other relatives b/c they said a four hour event was too long for a 3 y/o and a 5 y/o. Yet, no one else's children were misbehaving (just typical stuff that all kids do - some whining, getting loud, etc - nothing obnoxious) These children are always misbehaving any event they attend and in fact, several family members have requested "no children" at weddings specifically b/c of this particular family and their kids.
Several relatives asked me - did I think this was a situation where the parents simply have raised bratty kids . . . or what? I have no clue, except that there are other children their ages and even tho all children are going to have their "moments," the other children do not seem to act out, insist on being the center of attention, whine, throw tantrums, interrupt people, mess w/ food at the serving tables, run in and out of the kitchen, etc. Since I didn't want to have something I said repeated (and you know how that can go in families) I said "Who knows - maybe they are just high spirited kids" Hee Hee - and we all know what "high spirited means."
But I am curious what you all think. The parents are constantly saying it is not their "fault" that their children are put into situations where they are going to fail - that no one should expect more w/ family get togethers - and we are wrong to plan things on a Sat. or Sun afternoon - and expect their children to behave.
So . . . is it lack of parenting w/ these kids or is that to be expected - that children can't get through four hours w/o being holy terrors? All kids have bad days - but both of theirs - at every event? What do you think? Are some kids just not able to be in social situations until they are in school?
Are some kids just not able to be in social situations until they are in school?
At that age they should be able to behave. It wasn't an event they had to sit in a chair for 4 hours right?. When my daughter was 2 I used to carry small toys in my bag. A couple of small cars, crayons, etc... I planned for her needs in advance.
I would assume these children only get attention from the parents when they misbehave. I myself as a middle child only got my father's attention by arguing with him.
I have a question, since we are talking about inconsiderate parents and children behaving in social settings . . .
I was at a family reunion, with about 100 people. There were children of all ages, as well as adults as old as 93. The event lasted about four hours. Everything went very smoothly . . . except for one family, who had a 3 y/o and a 5 y/o. There children were totally out of control the whole event. There were other children their ages, plus babies and many older kids. The parents left early and they were angry w/ the other relatives b/c they said a four hour event was too long for a 3 y/o and a 5 y/o. Yet, no one else's children were misbehaving (just typical stuff that all kids do - some whining, getting loud, etc - nothing obnoxious) These children are always misbehaving any event they attend and in fact, several family members have requested "no children" at weddings specifically b/c of this particular family and their kids.
Several relatives asked me - did I think this was a situation where the parents simply have raised bratty kids . . . or what? I have no clue, except that there are other children their ages and even tho all children are going to have their "moments," the other children do not seem to act out, insist on being the center of attention, whine, throw tantrums, interrupt people, mess w/ food at the serving tables, run in and out of the kitchen, etc. Since I didn't want to have something I said repeated (and you know how that can go in families) I said "Who knows - maybe they are just high spirited kids" Hee Hee - and we all know what "high spirited means."
But I am curious what you all think. The parents are constantly saying it is not their "fault" that their children are put into situations where they are going to fail - that no one should expect more w/ family get togethers - and we are wrong to plan things on a Sat. or Sun afternoon - and expect their children to behave.
So . . . is it lack of parenting w/ these kids or is that to be expected - that children can't get through four hours w/o being holy terrors? All kids have bad days - but both of theirs - at every event? What do you think? Are some kids just not able to be in social situations until they are in school?
I'd expect kids up to 2-3yrs old to get a little antsy after 2 hrs if they didn't have anything to occupy their time. Since our middle child was about 2 she's handled 1 hr church services fine without having to be taken out or anything. But if we had to be somewhere with her for prolonged periods of time (more than 2 hrs) without something to keep her occupied she would start to come appart (heck I got a little antsy myself when I had to wait 3 hrs in a waiting room for my windshield to be repaired; TV was broken and all the Time magazines were dated back to 2006...nothing like reading old news to pass the time...LOL). 4 yrs and older should be able to handle it just fine. But if these kids DID have something to do (ie play with the other kids at the reunion) I really don't understand why there was an issue. Some kids that age still take daytime naps. Maybe they missed their's?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
. Our school requires 40 hours of volunteering at school. If we don't volunteer, we can opt out and pay $400 ($10/hr). I was sad to admit that it's easier for me give them the $400 because a babysitter in our area costs $15/hr. I'm sure the cost benefit (volunteering and making my two older ones happy versus spending a ton of unnecessary childcare expenses) plays out but it's been a tough thing. 
