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My boy is 7 yr old
Doing ok in school mostly upper percentile grades
Relationship with peers and other adults is good
He acts spoiled with me and his mother
Cries and throws a fit when he does not get his way
How can we “ unspoil “ him or is it too late ?
Only child , youngest amongst cousins
First off, never ever give in to what he wants when he throws a fit.
And in addition, tell him very clearly that he is not to throw fits and that if he does, not only will he not get what he wants right then but there will be one random unexpected negative consequence in the near future because of the fit. Do not tell him what that consequence will be.
So, he throws a fit because you don't let him eat ice cream for dinner. He doesn't get ice cream, AND the next day when he really wants to go play video games with his friend, you tell him he can't go because of yesterday's fit.
That's it. Then that incident is over. But if he throws another fit, repeat this process. It won't be long before he makes the connection between fits = disappointment.
When youngest grandson (5) cries and throws a huge hissy, I record it on my phone and show him how he looks. I play it back, over and over, to whoever is around and we laugh at it. Then I threaten to post it on You Tube so it goes viral and millions of people can laugh at it, too. He stops immediately...works every time.
Seven year old grandson threw a tanty, as we say, today, for me. He had to have a long talk with me (retired teacher, ha ha) lost food treat from me, game time from his father and had to apologise to both his father and me.
I also tried to figure out the issues and I think he wasn’t adapting well to his mother, who had worked mostly from home for the past couple of years, being back in the office and having a business trip interstate today. I explained how we have to now go back to normal life, but of course his memory of that is somewhat limited.
I told him the true story of how a nine year old, in 1932, rode six hundred miles on his horse, alone, to see the opening of the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Which was a feat then and no doubt completely illegal now. The point being that children have to start taking some responsibility for their actions, “he has to put on his big boy shoes”
I will see next week whether an ounce of my advice/discussion sunk in! Probably not!
This is quite a story, as I wrote about above. Has been resurrected this week as it is the bridge’s 90th birthday.
Shows how much parenting has changed while the bridge is much as it was.
Does this occur randomly? Or can you really count on the circumstances in which this occurs? My son is an only child and frequently when we got together with his cousins or with a group of friends with their kids, he had a hard time with sharing, being a sore loser over a game, etc. We got to a point where we explained that if he acted up we would go home. He wouldn't have a tantrum, but behavior that was not acceptable given his age. It was inconvenient but only happened twice where we had to leave. We would have the "talk" prior to the get together and remind him that if he was feeling frustrated he needed to take a break and walk away.
My son is 7, will be 8 in May and he is becoming more chill. He still presses when he doesn't get something he wants but there haven't been crying incidents in a while.
My son is 7, will be 8 in May and he is becoming more chill. He still presses when he doesn't get something he wants but there haven't been crying incidents in a while.
How did you manage to contain him ?
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