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There is nothing normal about her behavior. It is essentially selfish or even narcissistic. Imagine thinking you are such a wonderful and exceptional person that people want your post-mortem piles of moldy old stuff so they can be just like you.
Actually, it's very normal among people of that generation, as Chins explains so well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by I Luv Chins
More like generational. My grandmother, a survivor of the Great Depression like MIL, was a lot like my MIL. When you bought something, you used it until it broke. If something still had "value" (placed in quotes because that is a subjective judgment) when you could no longer use it or - in MIL's place - it was part of an estate, it would be dispersed to family for their use.
We could learn a lot from the Depression generation in terms of not wasting so much. But at the same time, tastes change, and what they saw as beautiful heirlooms, many people today see as tacky junk. To bring this back to the original topic, I guess we can say that Reason No. 21 for not having children is, you don't have to feel bad when you try and pawn your stuff off on them, and they don't want it.
Now I don't have kids and never wanted kids but I think this article is over the top. Some of the reasons may seem valid but even if you add them all up I think it's still worth having a kid(s) if you can afford them.
The only reasons I think that might be valid in not having children are the following
1) They end up being a danger or menace to society for example murderer, rapist, etc etc etc
2) They die before you do. The grief will be so impactful you probably will never recover.
3) They need full time care if they can't function on their own in society. I'm only listing this because you and your partner will eventually become too old to take care of your child not to mention yourselves.
Of course life is a crap-shoot and you never know the fate in store for you and your child.
I don't know why people get bent out of shape one way or the other. We are all completely in charge of our decision to have children, or not. You don't owe anyone an explanation about your choice.
soapbox here: College is expensive yes.? So you need to be all hands on deck with your kids education. Get them in magnet programs, apply for any & all scholarships available. Keep in touch with the school counselor. Your kid doesn't want to go to college fine plenty of good paying trade options. Get them on Khan or code academy to practice computer programming stuff for free!. Be resourceful.
Our new friends have an autistic ten year old high on the spectrum. He drinks from a bottle and still wears diapers. Their youngest is not right either. She's a wonderful mom but her and her common law husband do not have the best relationship. He seems miserable all the time and she is definitely stressed out.
We never had kids because we didn't want the commitment, but, I still enjoy taking care of them from time to time. The autistic ten year old loves being here with us, so does his little brother. It gives mom and dad a break from time to time.
I've never asked her if she regrets having them but my guess would be no. I have talked to others that have said they regret having children.
For me? I have the best of both worlds. I have about 17 kids in my life and each one has been an unimaginable joy. Then they go home
Saturday will be crazy here with 4 crazy kids dying eggs and two crazy girls spending the night. I just like it this way. All of the fun and just a little work.
I agree totally. I never had a strong desire to become a mother. Instead, my "mothering" tendencies were always towards animals, even as a small child, and those have continued all my life. I don't feel bereft because I didn't have children, and admire those with large families. I've just never been really comfortable with babies, toddlers, or children at any age, while I'm drawn to any creature with 4 legs, and they to me as well. I also have MUCH more patience with animals than children.
Yes, me too. If I even HAD an existing maternal gene, it was directed towards animals. Kids make me uneasy and babies are not appealing, lol.
But knowing that, I had no angst or uncertainty. I knew myself and I was not a parent. What others said or thought made no difference to me.
I see it two ways. Being a parent is an unselfish act. But IMO, NOT being a parent is not a sign of selfishness.
That's sort of like saying everyone should be in the "helping" careers because it's more unselfish. Well, not everyone is cut out for that kind of work/life.
As I said before, there are MANY selfish reasons why people procreate; I don't get where it's "unselfish" at all. If you wish to be altruistic, adopt some kids who don't have parents or just help some poor senior citizens who are already on the planet or, as so many of us CFBC people already do, save animals.
Yes, me too. If I even HAD an existing maternal gene, it was directed towards animals. Kids make me uneasy and babies are not appealing, lol.
But knowing that, I had no angst or uncertainty. I knew myself and I was not a parent. What others said or thought made no difference to me.
I see it two ways. Being a parent is an unselfish act. But IMO, NOT being a parent is not a sign of selfishness.
That's sort of like saying everyone should be in the "helping" careers because it's more unselfish. Well, not everyone is cut out for that kind of work/life.
Now I don't have kids and never wanted kids but I think this article is over the top. Some of the reasons may seem valid but even if you add them all up I think it's still worth having a kid(s) if you can afford them.
The only reasons I think that might be valid in not having children are the following
1) They end up being a danger or menace to society for example murderer, rapist, etc etc etc
2) They die before you do. The grief will be so impactful you probably will never recover.
3) They need full time care if they can't function on their own in society. I'm only listing this because you and your partner will eventually become too old to take care of your child not to mention yourselves.
Of course life is a crap-shoot and you never know the fate in store for you and your child.
I'm not sure, but I know that these days, co-sleeping is also a thing; hence, lack-a-nooky for the parents.
Yes; mom is usually in bed with the kids and dad's on the couch. Hence no need for a lock on the marital door!
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