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My child is on a mommy/daddy run type sports organization that costs $$$, traveling out of state, that both my husband and I find awful. It's full of butt kissing galor, favoritism, and coaches, and yes it's nice that they volunteer their time, but we find them, well unprofessional. My child has been on the team for a few years, is more on the introverted side and I "think" stays on the team bc it's at their comfort level. My child is trying out, and not just paying, for a school based team which I am hoping they will make. This is the type of team I was on growing up and really would much rather have my child on this sort of team. They would be able to stay on both teams if they want since the schedules don't conflict. Since we are the paying parents, would you tell your child what team they can be on? Or should it be up to the child? My child is quite good at the sport, but the school based team would not involve competition, which they enjoy.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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As a parent paying the cost, such decisions are up to you. Nonetheless, there can be serious repercussions from taking away something that's really important to a kid, especially when they hit about 12-14 years of age and are trying to show some degree of independence, and making some of their own decisions. I think it's important to discuss it with the kid, and point out your reasoning and the alternatives, and show respect for their view if it's different. Maybe a compromise can be worked out.
I think it’s worth a discussion with your child , but you get to make the final call. Travel teams seem to be the tail that wags the dog in terms of a family’s schedule and money. If your child doesn’t make the school-based team, are there other options like a rec league she/he could join?
I think it’s worth a discussion with your child , but you get to make the final call. Travel teams seem to be the tail that wags the dog in terms of a family’s schedule and money. If your child doesn’t make the school-based team, are there other options like a rec league she/he could join?
No, that would be it. The other competitive teams, not run by parents but certified coaches, are around the same price or wayy more, but are with kids for all other towns. I mean, there I know my kid would get great training and I've mentioned it in passing, but my child seems more set on a team where they will "know" people..
I would negotiate with the kid and put more responsibility on them if they chose something you don't want to support. Something like (if feasible) you will attend games within a certain radius, but they'll have to figure out their own transportation (ride with friends) to away games that are far off or interfere with your plans.
They have to pay a portion of hotel costs or they have to give up some other paid activities or do extra chores (lawn mowing, painting, whatever) to defray extra expenses.
I wouldn't use this stuff to dissuade them from playing on the team they like. Instead, this is to reduce the burden on you and feel like they've got some skin in the game.
Keep in mind that the chances that your child will ever be a professional athlete in whatever that sport is are just about as close to zero as you can get. He's not on a team to teach him to be a professional athlete. He is there to learn how to make friends and how to be a team player.
It's not possible for me to say because I do not know the teams or your area. I suggest that you talk to the child and let him decide the pluses and minuses of each choice. If you can afford it, let him play on both teams and test them out before he decides. It's an opportunity for him to learn how to make choices using careful consideration.
My child is on a mommy/daddy run type sports organization that costs $$$, traveling out of state, that both my husband and I find awful. It's full of butt kissing galor, favoritism, and coaches, and yes it's nice that they volunteer their time, but we find them, well unprofessional. My child has been on the team for a few years, is more on the introverted side and I "think" stays on the team bc it's at their comfort level. My child is trying out, and not just paying, for a school based team which I am hoping they will make. This is the type of team I was on growing up and really would much rather have my child on this sort of team. They would be able to stay on both teams if they want since the schedules don't conflict. Since we are the paying parents, would you tell your child what team they can be on? Or should it be up to the child? My child is quite good at the sport, but the school based team would not involve competition, which they enjoy.
My child is on a mommy/daddy run type sports organization that costs $$$, traveling out of state, that both my husband and I find awful. It's full of butt kissing galor, favoritism, and coaches, and yes it's nice that they volunteer their time, but we find them, well unprofessional. My child has been on the team for a few years, is more on the introverted side and I "think" stays on the team bc it's at their comfort level. My child is trying out, and not just paying, for a school based team which I am hoping they will make. This is the type of team I was on growing up and really would much rather have my child on this sort of team. They would be able to stay on both teams if they want since the schedules don't conflict. Since we are the paying parents, would you tell your child what team they can be on? Or should it be up to the child? My child is quite good at the sport, but the school based team would not involve competition, which they enjoy.
As someone who currently pays several thousand per year for a high end coastal travel league, and that is before travel expenses, I would never be on a team like this that is mommy/daddy run. My daughter's coach was previously an assistant coach on a USWNT youth level team, and now an assistant coach at a top nationally ranked NCAA women's team. the club manager played and coached in germany and italy at the top level. Our coach is paid well for her coaching at this club level. If you are paying costs in the $$$ level and its parent run, get out now. Yes, tell your child that they cannot play at that team, and find them anther team if they are looking to play DI college level or looking to go to Europe or SA to get a pro look. Not sure how old your child is, but 12 to 13 is really when this level of prep begins.
School based teams are for fun. My daughter has played varsity hs soccer since the 7th grade and loved every minute of it. It did nothing for her college soccer prep, but it was all fun. She loves her friends, loves to play with them, and is laughing and happy before, after, and during her games. Club is vastly different. While they all love the sport, they all take it seriously. They all push each other, they all compete. They are friends too, but they have very high expectations for one another. When one gets the college offer they wanted, they all celebrate. I think both hs and club are completely important, but different things for elite level players. Every club team I know has no fall travel season (since that is when the hs plays), they practice 2x per week, they have 2 or 3 tournaments in the fall. They never compete for time wit the HS teams since they know that is where the girls need to be in the fall. Then once hs ends (about this week usually in my area depending on playoffs), they start practice 3 to 4 times per week, play in at least one college showcase before winter, then indoor winter season. Spring is intense and its lots of travel, usually a few flights. Anyway, if you are spending a lot and you do not have professional coaches, top notch video recording equipment at games and practices, an incredible open and scheduled time gym, professional trainers, diet consultation, constant support for recruitment, classes on soccer resumes, letters/emails, ID camps, how to talk to coaches, using social media to market yourself to colleges and professional teams, interview skills ... you are being ripped off. Obviously she needs to be involved in these decisions, but I think you may be wasting some money. Best of luck to you!
I wanted my kids to play for the fun and have no pressure. We had a local facility that provided 4 different sports depending on the season. For a small fee the kids got a team shirt and their entrance fee. Everyone played equally and no bad sportsmanship was allowed by kids or parents. Everyone I knew chose this option versus competitive sports.
My child is on a mommy/daddy run type sports organization that costs $$$, traveling out of state, that both my husband and I find awful. It's full of butt kissing galor, favoritism, and coaches, and yes it's nice that they volunteer their time, but we find them, well unprofessional. My child has been on the team for a few years, is more on the introverted side and I "think" stays on the team bc it's at their comfort level. My child is trying out, and not just paying, for a school based team which I am hoping they will make. This is the type of team I was on growing up and really would much rather have my child on this sort of team. They would be able to stay on both teams if they want since the schedules don't conflict. Since we are the paying parents, would you tell your child what team they can be on? Or should it be up to the child? My child is quite good at the sport, but the school based team would not involve competition, which they enjoy.
Could you clarify. If they can be on both teams why the need to choose?
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