Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 11-23-2023, 03:54 PM
Status: "I'm turquoise happy!" (set 21 days ago)
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
23,864 posts, read 32,129,837 times
Reputation: 67719

Advertisements

My husband's son, his wife, and their 4-year-old son came for Thanksgiving. They live in Seattle. My son is at his fiancée's home in Vermont, and our daughter, and ICU nurse, is working.

His son is on disability for psychiatric issues. His wife is a fourth-grade teacher. The little boy is not my grandson by blood or any other way. He told me he has "too many grandmothers and he doesn't need me". He doesn't seem to like me, so sadly, I miss the joy of having a child in the house.

DH warned Jon not to discuss politics, (in particular, the situation in the middle east) or Thanksgiving, and why we should not celebrate it.

Apparently, the wife was given the message not to be friendly to me also. And she appears to follow orders. I never met her until Tuesday. I thought she might be a nice person. She is either very quiet or has been warned that no one takes the place of my stepson's mother.

I asked her and her son if they wanted to bake with me, and she told me that she didn't like Thanksgiving. Or baking. I also asked her if she wanted to help with the sides, and she said no. She went out to buy sweet potatoes for all three of them and frozen broccoli, because broccoli is the only vegetable Jon eats.

They are having no trouble eating the organic turkey that we bought from Whole Foods, either.

Right now, I hear another political argument emanating from downstairs.

What would you do?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-23-2023, 04:05 PM
 
4,407 posts, read 3,417,580 times
Reputation: 14168
Your husband said not to celebrate Thanksgiving? Maybe DIL feels awkward about doing these "holiday" type rituals then?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-23-2023, 05:35 PM
Status: "I'm turquoise happy!" (set 21 days ago)
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
23,864 posts, read 32,129,837 times
Reputation: 67719
Quote:
Originally Posted by wasel View Post
Your husband said not to celebrate Thanksgiving? Maybe DIL feels awkward about doing these "holiday" type rituals then?
No. My STEPSON doesn't like Thanksgiving and wants to talk about it during his entire visit. I never met the girl before. They married privately in her father's ranch.

My husband thought his son would keep his promise that we were not going to discuss the middle east. And the Indians and Pilgrims.

I think the daughter in law loves holidays - when they are with her family in Seattle.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-23-2023, 06:10 PM
 
Location: Kansas
25,565 posts, read 21,747,086 times
Reputation: 26143
What would I do? Well, it would be the last invitation that I extended to them, and if my husband wanted them to visit, he could handle the details, and I would make other plans! Why on earth are these people so immature? I could see if they were elementary school students talking about Thanksgiving, but not grown adults that were invited for Thanksgiving dinner.

It was up to your husband to shut down the discussion, and he failed to do that. It was disrespectful to you. I can see when kids are little, they should come first, but later on when they are grown, the loyalty should be to the spouse! So, the kids didn't ruin your holiday, your husband did.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-23-2023, 06:46 PM
 
Location: Kansas City North
6,768 posts, read 11,396,828 times
Reputation: 16917
Somehow I suspect these ingrates may never grace your door again, but if they do, I might tell the kid that if he doesn’t want another Grandma, maybe you two could just be friends. Sounds like he could use one.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-23-2023, 06:55 PM
 
Location: Beautiful Four Oaks
731 posts, read 385,292 times
Reputation: 2576
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnywhereElse View Post
What would I do? Well, it would be the last invitation that I extended to them, and if my husband wanted them to visit, he could handle the details, and I would make other plans! Why on earth are these people so immature? I could see if they were elementary school students talking about Thanksgiving, but not grown adults that were invited for Thanksgiving dinner.

It was up to your husband to shut down the discussion, and he failed to do that. It was disrespectful to you. I can see when kids are little, they should come first, but later on when they are grown, the loyalty should be to the spouse! So, the kids didn't ruin your holiday, your husband did.
I'm with you Anywhere, they wouldn't enter my home again.

And Sheena, you say they come from Seattle? That answers a few question from me. No need to have them invade your home and have no form of thankfulness for your hospitality.

A swift kick in the butt and a finger pointed toward the door would make me feel much better.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-23-2023, 07:04 PM
Status: "I'm turquoise happy!" (set 21 days ago)
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
23,864 posts, read 32,129,837 times
Reputation: 67719
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
My husband's son, his wife, and their 4-year-old son came for Thanksgiving. They live in Seattle. My son is at his fiancée's home in Vermont, and our daughter, and ICU nurse, is working.

His son is on disability for psychiatric issues. His wife is a fourth-grade teacher. The little boy is not my grandson by blood or any other way. He told me he has "too many grandmothers and he doesn't need me". He doesn't seem to like me, so sadly, I miss the joy of having a child in the house.

DH warned Jon not to discuss politics, (in particular, the situation in the middle east) or Thanksgiving, and why we should not celebrate it.

Apparently, the wife was given the message not to be friendly to me also. And she appears to follow orders. I never met her until Tuesday. I thought she might be a nice person. She is either very quiet or has been warned that no one takes the place of my stepson's mother.

I asked her and her son if they wanted to bake with me, and she told me that she didn't like Thanksgiving. Or baking. I also asked her if she wanted to help with the sides, and she said no. She went out to buy sweet potatoes for all three of them and frozen broccoli, because broccoli is the only vegetable Jon eats.

They are having no trouble eating the organic turkey that we bought from Whole Foods, either.

Right now, I hear another political argument emanating from downstairs.

What would you do?
When I said "he told me he has too many grandmothers" I meant my stepson, when the child was born. Actually, he told my husband that Sheena won't be a grandmother to my son. He has enough people who love him who are like grandmothers.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-23-2023, 07:21 PM
Status: "I'm turquoise happy!" (set 21 days ago)
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
23,864 posts, read 32,129,837 times
Reputation: 67719
Quote:
Originally Posted by SickofJersey View Post
I'm with you Anywhere, they wouldn't enter my home again.

And Sheena, you say they come from Seattle? That answers a few question from me. No need to have them invade your home and have no form of thankfulness for your hospitality.

A swift kick in the butt and a finger pointed toward the door would make me feel much better.
Thank you. You made me laugh. Thank God they live in Seattle! I am not sure why my husband thought that this would workout.

I really tried to involve them in the holiday preparations. They promised not to bring up their hatred of the origins of Thanksgiving etc.

DH knows that his son is difficult and has psychiatric issues, and we both knew that this was a possibility. I can't take three more days of this.

They are playing video games "as a family" now, in the finished basement.

We haven't discussed what we are doing for the remainder of their visit. I understand that my husband feels guilty about the whole thing.

His son is driving my husband crazy, too.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-23-2023, 07:26 PM
Status: "I'm turquoise happy!" (set 21 days ago)
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
23,864 posts, read 32,129,837 times
Reputation: 67719
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnywhereElse View Post
What would I do? Well, it would be the last invitation that I extended to them, and if my husband wanted them to visit, he could handle the details, and I would make other plans! Why on earth are these people so immature? I could see if they were elementary school students talking about Thanksgiving, but not grown adults that were invited for Thanksgiving dinner.

It was up to your husband to shut down the discussion, and he failed to do that. It was disrespectful to you. I can see when kids are little, they should come first, but later on when they are grown, the loyalty should be to the spouse! So, the kids didn't ruin your holiday, your husband did.
He HAS been been shutting down the discussions since they came.

To no avail.

I have no idea why they are so immature and mean. If you hate TG so much, maybe don't fly across the country to see your father on that holiday? And she teaches fourth grade kids?

Just a thought.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-23-2023, 07:26 PM
Status: "Mistress of finance and foods." (set 13 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
49,969 posts, read 63,277,013 times
Reputation: 92419
I don’t understand why they came? They don’t like you. They don’t like anything but broccoli and the kid doesn’t need any more grandmothers.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top