Thinking of having a 3rd child.....any advice? (infant, support, girls)

[JerseyBean]

Any advice? We have two girls ages 5 and 3 and we are thinking of adding one more....

[momoftwonh]

We had been thinking about it for a while. We have a 4.5 year old girl and a 2 year old boy. I think that at this point we have decided against it. We see changes since we no longer have an infant, like we can all go on rides together at the amusement park this summer The thought of going back to a newborn and giving less time to my two existing children just seemed too daunting, I'm just not sure if my coping skills could handle a third. We havn't made a permanent decision yet, but I would say that we are 99% sure that our family is complete.

It's such a personal decision, and I think that it also depends on how much support you have. Everyone that I know who has 3 or 4 children always seems to have a family member who is around to help a lot. We don't have that, so the responsibility would be mostly on me.

I wish you the best of luck with your decision, just thought that I would throw in my 2 cents

[JerseyBean]

THANKS! I hear you on all the points mentioned...but deep in my heart I dont feel "complete" yet for some odd reason although my two girls are my life and they fulfill every need as a mother....

When I see pictures of them together...I always invision a third missing....but again, it is such a big decision. Not sure if it will put me over the top or not...but i just have to trust in God that he will do what is best for our family.....

Oh the decisions!

[5FLgirls]

I have four and I don't have a family member helping me out. I won't lie--adding the third can be tough the first few months. You are no longer one on one and you have a man out (so to speak). Sometimes you have a child who feels displaced--my first two play together and don't want to include my third. On the other hand -- I wouldn't trade it for the world. My third child is great fun! If you don't feel complete -- then you're not done. By the way, I had two girls and went for #3 -- I had another girl. Decided to go for #4 and guess what I have now? Good Luck.

[suff4ingirl]

If your oldest one is not in school yet, remember it is shortly around the corner. Take that into consideration. I had my 2nd when my oldest child was just starting full-time school. There was some insecurity for a couple of months for my oldest about Mom being with baby and her having to go to school..like she was missing out.
My second child had already been in school full-time for a year before the 3rd was born. The timing was good but being the middle child, she needed much more TLC than the first. I believe in general the middle child (due to placement in the family) needs more reassurance. Remember the older the siblings are the more help you are likely to get from them(if that's what you need) and the more independent they become. I believe children are always a blessing from God and that He will not give you more than what you can handle.

[121804]

Originally Posted by JerseyBean

Any advice? We have two girls ages 5 and 3 and we are thinking of adding one more....

My dh & I were talking about this same topic....

It's tough.

For some reason I'd love to have 3 ( we have 2 now) & if #3 was a boy, I'd have 3 boys & that just seems so wonderful to me for many reasons.

But, right now, daddy can have one & I can have one. It seems life works out well that way. We are scared to being outnumbered

It has nothing to do with finances, but more with the emotion & time to give to baby #3. We are not sure if we have it.

No matter what you decide, you have already been blessed & will have many "adventures"

Best of luck

[JerseyBean]

Originally Posted by suff4ingirl

If your oldest one is not in school yet, remember it is shortly around the corner. Take that into consideration. I had my 2nd when my oldest child was just starting full-time school. There was some insecurity for a couple of months for my oldest about Mom being with baby and her having to go to school..like she was missing out.
My second child had already been in school full-time for a year before the 3rd was born. The timing was good but being the middle child, she needed much more TLC than the first. I believe in general the middle child (due to placement in the family) needs more reassurance. Remember the older the siblings are the more help you are likely to get from them(if that's what you need) and the more independent they become. I believe children are always a blessing from God and that He will not give you more than what you can handle.

Thanks! My 5 year old has been in Public PreK for 2 years now..it is just like a regular school day through the public school system...my 3 year old will be starting the PreK in Sept...so she will be in school a while before any baby were to arrive.....but those were good thoughts.

IF we had a 3rd, by the time it arrived (god willing) they would be 6 and 4 which I think are good ages.......

[drjones96]

Life was never so complicated for us since we had our third.



Do what you want.


edit: You may also think about what sort of car you may have to drive if you have a third. If you only have two you can get away with any 4/5 passenger car with no problem at all. If you have a third you will be stuck in minivan hell for years.

[hutch5]

A year ago our third child was born and there is not a day passing without us giving thanks for him. Even my husband who did not want another child is totally content.

Our two oldest are 11 and 8 so and they are a great help with their little brother.

Go for it especially if both your children will be in full time school by the time the baby arrives.

Good luck on your decision

[JerseyBean]

Thanks everyone for all of your responses! We will just sit on it some more...but it seems like that is all we do...is sit on it. But I will keep praying and the answers will come.......