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It seems like being responsible for myself and kids I'm the magnet for irresponsible or needy people and I'm the one they look towards to make their life easier and handle whatever they don't "feel like" dealing with.
They have no conscience about it whatsoever!
I'm mad at my grandbaby's other family for sticking their heads in the sand for his needs and mine as I'm the only one willing to care for him full time and financially. I'll never get out of single motherhood with kids! My son is 12 and my easy one at this time.
I'm mad at my daughter for giving up on herself and her baby. For being a trail of destruction that I've finally stopped paying for.
I'm mad at the father of the baby for saying, hey, if he needs a place to crash, I've got his back. LIKE DAHHHH, he needs a mommy or daddy! Not a freaking place to crash! He's a baby for crying out loud! He left him at 2 months old to do "better for himself".
Mad at the father of the baby for telling his father and mother NOT to help me to pay for babysitting as it hurts his damn pride. At my request they started helping with some. not much, but some. They gladly quit sending checks, never called me about it either, once he mentioned that to him.
He let me know he put his foot down on that crap! It's his son! His mom and dad have no business helping.
Mad at all of them when I paid over 12K cash for birth and they would not help with it. Mad at social services as the sister of that family worked there and blocked any attempt for help. I finally had to hire a lawyer but you can't get blood out of a turnip. I lost.
We see the father once a year for one day to tell the baby happy birthday. Guess we're waiting on that event coming up for birthday #3 in 2 weeks. Yippie! Daddy coming to the rescue! Going to see his son and make sure everything is ok with him!!! I can't wait for his report!
I'm mad at my boyfriend for only helping me with house repairs only after I've got screwed to the wall from someone else. Then I can call him, pay him his hourly rate to bail me out. But no, make sure I'm 2K or more in the hole first to ask for assistance and that's not even a guarantee he'll help.
So now the house just falls apart unless I'm willing to be a $$ guppie first.
Today I leaned a bedroom door against the wall as the baby managed to knock it off it's tracks. (guess attempt #4 paying someone to get it right didn't work)I'm about ready to throw the door in the trash and give up having doors!
I'm mad at the other baby's grandpas with the know how and can do to fix me a yard for the baby to play but don't offer. I'm just left with rocks, dirt and rattlesnakes. I want grass and a fence.
I'm mad at my mother for putting herself in a helpless needy condition and her psycho mental state. She needs me.
I'm mad at my father for never helping me in my life for anything. EVER. Now he's begging me to come visit as he needs me.
My mother's family for NEVER helping me as I'm leftovers. They only look out for 1st blood. Not the 2nds like me. They don't need me. They have eachother. Grandma was helpless, mom taking care of her but calling me because she couldn't do it. So I'm there wiping grandma's butt, putting her in bed, lifting her, cleaning her and caring for her, and she even refused to give me a one lousy picture I've asked for since I was young of my mother. Once she was dead, she would "think about it" she said. Grandma could not rest unless she Knew my cousin had this, the other had that... But when I asked for a picture, she said, It's MINE. I said well if you die someday can I have it. She said maybe. It's hers. She'd think about it. See my cynicism here? I was there at the rescue, in the hospital for a week with her when her own sons and daughters refused as they couldn't "bear it".
No, call keeperk. She can handle it, we're not going to deal with that crap.
I'm almost to the point I want to say to hell with all of you!
If it's your responsibility, YOU DO IT!
Mother won't even walk out her door to get her mail now. She needs me to grocery shop for her, pick up, and whatever. She has always got herself in a mess of some sort, then called me to bail her out as she sees me as that cold hearted #$%% that can handle it. I'm cold hearted because I finally put my foot down to her suicide attempts of she'll kill herself if I don't do her bidding. I finally grew up and knew, I'm sorry mom, I'll miss you and love you, but I'm not taking responsibly if you kill yourself to come live with you forever because your needy of me being right there. and yes, brother suggested I do what she say and be a good daughter. Lots of help there.
I've bailed her out of timeshare scandals, abusive marriages and take her for her money boyfriends, scams to ruin her credit, overcharges to her accounts... She's a guppie, falls for stuff, then calls me to bail her out. I finally told her NOT to answer her phone!
I can't keep bailing her out of stuff. She can't say no to people.
She pulled a doosey on me once that cost me thousands of dollars which I didn't have, I lost my home, my marriage, I was homeless for 3 years and almost lost my baby daughter and it took me 10 years to get my life back on track! Which I'm still trying to do against all odds. Thanks mom!
My daughter is cutting herself now. New big concern.
My grandbaby is 3 now and the other grandma calls me to get him as soon as he has a tantrum as she freaks out. She's another mental case. Her son was perfect. Never dealt with a tantrum before! He's a damn mental case. When I subbed at the schools, he was in 8th grade and a "special case". That was BEFORE my daughter knew him. He had "emotional problems" that needed specially tended to. Tell me he was perfect! She never knew I worked at the schools.
I'm surrounded by mental cases! and I swear I'm normal!
My new first concern is my daughter. I've found 2 days ago that she is cutting herself. Knowing now that she is not even capable to take care of the baby not just not wanting to adds a whole new dimension to what I might should do. I was at the point taking her to court over just being irresponsible but I see now she has bigger problems than I realized.
So I feel I need to tend to her needs and to do that, something has to give!
But now I see it's she can't take care of the baby. But I need to take care of her somehow now.
I'm at home today so mad at everyone and no one to turn to. It seems my only fix is to say it's YOUR PROBLEM, deal with it! I have my 2 kids that need me. I can handle that.
But damn! Come one people! Take care of your own **** or don't make any! Step up to the plate here if it's yours too!
I'm broke, paying for babysitting still is more than a house payment. When I was making lots of money it wasn't a big deal. I paid my babysitter accordingly as it was worth it for me to get to work. Now with sales very slow for over a year I don't make anything really and the bank account is 0 now. I sweat it every Friday when it's time to pay her what she's been used to and I don't make that kind of money anymore. I either pay her or go to someone cheaper which I can't bring myself to take him to someone else. She's like family to him now.
I have to leave from work early to pick him up or not go to work because I don't have a sitter.
I'm mad at my associate at my office for crying she's not selling. Sell or not, I still have to pay the bills regardless to keep us open. She has more deals in the hopper than I do and I'm paying for it. So to heck with that crap. She's talking about quitting and getting a real job. Fine. Do that. I can't support everyone to their quality of life.
I had to sell my beloved land(the most beautiful 30 acres on earth that I would live on someday) to keep me going financially for home and work.
We close Friday. I'm crying over that.
I sold my other 30 acre lot and I'm out of dream land to someday live on. I'm giving up on my future dreams by selling this land but grateful I have it to bail me out.
I would not need the bail out if someone would freaking step up to the plate and take care of their own business! I'm out of dreams, crying and giving up. If I fall, everyone else does too. I'm close to falling. No one gives a darn. It seems like it has to come down to Keeperk is broke and CAN'T do it anymore before anyone will listen and help. She's sold everything to make ends meet and done for! before anyone will listen!
No question here I guess. Just mad and looking for sympathy.
I'm ready to throw in the towel, boy would my life be easier! I can't keep the baby in shoes, clothes or diapers. I buy new shoes and a wardrobe and I'm constantly asking where is his shoes! shorts! shirts, socks! I have to re buy that stuff everytime I go grocery shopping! I've bought 2 nice car seats and sometimes I'm without! I'm like, give me back a damn car seat! I'm sick of buying car seats! I'm like where is his shoes! I just bought a pair that fit him good. They buy a diff. pair too small. then say, oh well we bought him shoes!! The other family puts him in worn out hand me down toddler seats with broken buckles. My daughter surrounds herself with low life's, his family fits the bill as expected as that's what she was messing around with, and now I'm dealing with the low life's. Their attitude is, what's the dilleyoh. You make lots of money. Handle it. buttttt, we're here if you need us as long as it don't cost us money or inconviencance us somehow. We love that baby.
Arghhhhhhhhhhhh!~
I'm to the point look out for #1. I'm sinking and no one will listen until I'm sunk. I still have my son to look out for and I suppose my wayward daughter.
I'm not rolling in the dough like everyone thinks and when I fall a big house of cards fall with me. Do I need to be homeless again to a make a point? Like ok now. Now I can't do it. I'm 46. Busted butt all my life and been responsible. To myself and my kids. My own kid has released a huge responsibility on me with the same attitude as the loser family. What's the dillieyoh. You make lots of money. Handle it.
Just venting I guess. Can't imagine there is an answer here.
It seems like being responsible for myself and kids I'm the magnet for irresponsible or needy people and I'm the one they look towards to make their life easier and handle whatever they don't "feel like" dealing with.
They have no conscience about it whatsoever!
I'm mad at my grandbaby's other family for sticking their heads in the sand for his needs and mine as I'm the only one willing to care for him full time and financially. I'll never get out of single motherhood with kids! My son is 12 and my easy one at this time.
I'm mad at my daughter for giving up on herself and her baby. For being a trail of destruction that I've finally stopped paying for.
I'm mad at the father of the baby for saying, hey, if he needs a place to crash, I've got his back. LIKE DAHHHH, he needs a mommy or daddy! Not a freaking place to crash! He's a baby for crying out loud! He left him at 2 months old to do "better for himself".
Mad at the father of the baby for telling his father and mother NOT to help me to pay for babysitting as it hurts his damn pride. At my request they started helping with some. not much, but some. They gladly quit sending checks, never called me about it either, once he mentioned that to him.
He let me know he put his foot down on that crap! It's his son! His mom and dad have no business helping.
Mad at all of them when I paid over 12K cash for birth and they would not help with it. Mad at social services as the sister of that family worked there and blocked any attempt for help. I finally had to hire a lawyer but you can't get blood out of a turnip. I lost.
We see the father once a year for one day to tell the baby happy birthday. Guess we're waiting on that event coming up for birthday #3 in 2 weeks. Yippie! Daddy coming to the rescue! Going to see his son and make sure everything is ok with him!!! I can't wait for his report!
I'm mad at my boyfriend for only helping me with house repairs only after I've got screwed to the wall from someone else. Then I can call him, pay him his hourly rate to bail me out. But no, make sure I'm 2K or more in the hole first to ask for assistance and that's not even a guarantee he'll help.
So now the house just falls apart unless I'm willing to be a $$ guppie first.
Today I leaned a bedroom door against the wall as the baby managed to knock it off it's tracks. (guess attempt #4 paying someone to get it right didn't work)I'm about ready to throw the door in the trash and give up having doors!
I'm mad at the other baby's grandpas with the know how and can do to fix me a yard for the baby to play but don't offer. I'm just left with rocks, dirt and rattlesnakes. I want grass and a fence.
I'm mad at my mother for putting herself in a helpless needy condition and her psycho mental state. She needs me.
I'm mad at my father for never helping me in my life for anything. EVER. Now he's begging me to come visit as he needs me.
My mother's family for NEVER helping me as I'm leftovers. They only look out for 1st blood. Not the 2nds like me. They don't need me. They have eachother. Grandma was helpless, mom taking care of her but calling me because she couldn't do it. So I'm there wiping grandma's butt, putting her in bed, lifting her, cleaning her and caring for her, and she even refused to give me a one lousy picture I've asked for since I was young of my mother. Once she was dead, she would "think about it" she said. Grandma could not rest unless she Knew my cousin had this, the other had that... But when I asked for a picture, she said, It's MINE. I said well if you die someday can I have it. She said maybe. It's hers. She'd think about it. See my cynicism here? I was there at the rescue, in the hospital for a week with her when her own sons and daughters refused as they couldn't "bear it".
No, call keeperk. She can handle it, we're not going to deal with that crap.
I'm almost to the point I want to say to hell with all of you!
If it's your responsibility, YOU DO IT!
Mother won't even walk out her door to get her mail now. She needs me to grocery shop for her, pick up, and whatever. She has always got herself in a mess of some sort, then called me to bail her out as she sees me as that cold hearted #$%% that can handle it. I'm cold hearted because I finally put my foot down to her suicide attempts of she'll kill herself if I don't do her bidding. I finally grew up and knew, I'm sorry mom, I'll miss you and love you, but I'm not taking responsibly if you kill yourself to come live with you forever because your needy of me being right there. and yes, brother suggested I do what she say and be a good daughter. Lots of help there.
I've bailed her out of timeshare scandals, abusive marriages and take her for her money boyfriends, scams to ruin her credit, overcharges to her accounts... She's a guppie, falls for stuff, then calls me to bail her out. I finally told her NOT to answer her phone!
I can't keep bailing her out of stuff. She can't say no to people.
She pulled a doosey on me once that cost me thousands of dollars which I didn't have, I lost my home, my marriage, I was homeless for 3 years and almost lost my baby daughter and it took me 10 years to get my life back on track! Which I'm still trying to do against all odds. Thanks mom!
My daughter is cutting herself now. New big concern.
My grandbaby is 3 now and the other grandma calls me to get him as soon as he has a tantrum as she freaks out. She's another mental case. Her son was perfect. Never dealt with a tantrum before! He's a damn mental case. When I subbed at the schools, he was in 8th grade and a "special case". That was BEFORE my daughter knew him. He had "emotional problems" that needed specially tended to. Tell me he was perfect! She never knew I worked at the schools.
I'm surrounded by mental cases! and I swear I'm normal!
My new first concern is my daughter. I've found 2 days ago that she is cutting herself. Knowing now that she is not even capable to take care of the baby not just not wanting to adds a whole new dimension to what I might should do. I was at the point taking her to court over just being irresponsible but I see now she has bigger problems than I realized.
So I feel I need to tend to her needs and to do that, something has to give!
But now I see it's she can't take care of the baby. But I need to take care of her somehow now.
I'm at home today so mad at everyone and no one to turn to. It seems my only fix is to say it's YOUR PROBLEM, deal with it! I have my 2 kids that need me. I can handle that.
But damn! Come one people! Take care of your own **** or don't make any! Step up to the plate here if it's yours too!
I'm broke, paying for babysitting still is more than a house payment. When I was making lots of money it wasn't a big deal. I paid my babysitter accordingly as it was worth it for me to get to work. Now with sales very slow for over a year I don't make anything really and the bank account is 0 now. I sweat it every Friday when it's time to pay her what she's been used to and I don't make that kind of money anymore. I either pay her or go to someone cheaper which I can't bring myself to take him to someone else. She's like family to him now.
I have to leave from work early to pick him up or not go to work because I don't have a sitter.
I'm mad at my associate at my office for crying she's not selling. Sell or not, I still have to pay the bills regardless to keep us open. She has more deals in the hopper than I do and I'm paying for it. So to heck with that crap. She's talking about quitting and getting a real job. Fine. Do that. I can't support everyone to their quality of life.
I had to sell my beloved land(the most beautiful 30 acres on earth that I would live on someday) to keep me going financially for home and work.
We close Friday. I'm crying over that.
I sold my other 30 acre lot and I'm out of dream land to someday live on. I'm giving up on my future dreams by selling this land but grateful I have it to bail me out.
I would not need the bail out if someone would freaking step up to the plate and take care of their own business! I'm out of dreams, crying and giving up. If I fall, everyone else does too. I'm close to falling. No one gives a darn. It seems like it has to come down to Keeperk is broke and CAN'T do it anymore before anyone will listen and help. She's sold everything to make ends meet and done for! before anyone will listen!
No question here I guess. Just mad and looking for sympathy.
I'm ready to throw in the towel, boy would my life be easier! I can't keep the baby in shoes, clothes or diapers. I buy new shoes and a wardrobe and I'm constantly asking where is his shoes! shorts! shirts, socks! I have to re buy that stuff everytime I go grocery shopping! I've bought 2 nice car seats and sometimes I'm without! I'm like, give me back a damn car seat! I'm sick of buying car seats! I'm like where is his shoes! I just bought a pair that fit him good. They buy a diff. pair too small. then say, oh well we bought him shoes!! The other family puts him in worn out hand me down toddler seats with broken buckles. My daughter surrounds herself with low life's, his family fits the bill as expected as that's what she was messing around with, and now I'm dealing with the low life's. Their attitude is, what's the dilleyoh. You make lots of money. Handle it. buttttt, we're here if you need us as long as it don't cost us money or inconviencance us somehow. We love that baby.
Arghhhhhhhhhhhh!~
I'm to the point look out for #1. I'm sinking and no one will listen until I'm sunk. I still have my son to look out for and I suppose my wayward daughter.
I'm not rolling in the dough like everyone thinks and when I fall a big house of cards fall with me. Do I need to be homeless again to a make a point? Like ok now. Now I can't do it. I'm 46. Busted butt all my life and been responsible. To myself and my kids. My own kid has released a huge responsibility on me with the same attitude as the loser family. What's the dillieyoh. You make lots of money. Handle it.
Just venting I guess. Can't imagine there is an answer here.
Yes, there is. Adoption. Please consider having the babies parents relinquish parental rights so this child can have a real future and a stable home.
You've done the best you can, and kudos to you for stepping up when no one else would. But this child needs more than you have the energy or money to give it. Please consider adoption.
Yes, there is. Adoption. Please consider having the babies parents relinquish parental rights so this child can have a real future and a stable home.
You've done the best you can, and kudos to you for stepping up when no one else would. But this child needs more than you have the energy or money to give it. Please consider adoption.
I'm mad at my boyfriend for only helping me with house repairs only after I've got screwed to the wall from someone else. Then I can call him, pay him his hourly rate to bail me out. But no, make sure I'm 2K or more in the hole first to ask for assistance and that's not even a guarantee he'll help.
So now the house just falls apart unless I'm willing to be a $$ guppie first.
Today I leaned a bedroom door against the wall as the baby managed to knock it off it's tracks. (guess attempt #4 paying someone to get it right didn't work)I'm about ready to throw the door in the trash and give up having doors!
Thats rediculous, get rid of your so called boyfriend. He's a loser that you do not need.
Yes, there is. Adoption. Please consider having the babies parents relinquish parental rights so this child can have a real future and a stable home.
You've done the best you can, and kudos to you for stepping up when no one else would. But this child needs more than you have the energy or money to give it. Please consider adoption.
Consider this option....There are people out there just waiting to be wonderful, loving parents. Look into it!
Keeperk, I'm going to assume that you just needed to vent and are not looking for life advice.
You sound like the glue that's holding a pretty precarious family together. I'm sorry you're giving up your dreams and your future in order to satisfy everyone else's whims.
I hope you can find a way to start saying NO to some of the bloodsuckers in your life. It sounds as if you have some painful decisions to make, but I'm hopeful you will do what's best for you for a change.
And I can't NOT give you some advice- so here it is--- consider changing the locks and your phone number. Think twice before opening that door to certain people. Simplify, figure out what really matters and proceed with that in mind.
Location: THEN: Paso Robles, Ca * NOW: Albuquerque, NM
519 posts, read 1,696,696 times
Reputation: 262
Creating Boundaries
I agree with the previous posters. Of course you cannot abandon the baby; however, if you cannot take on this extra responsibility, you should consider adoption.
You need to set boundaries in your life. The people around you are bleeding you dry, and you need to stand up for your own sanity. You need to say NO to those -- your dad, mom, etc. -- who are using you. You can only take on one major crisis at a time. Right now the crisis is your grandchild.
Your daughter needs to see a psychologist. She is dealing with a lot of issues evident from her cutting. Get her help ASAP.
I love Drs. Cloud and Townsend; they are Christian psychologists who have written several fabulous books about boundaries. You don't have to be a Christian to find application.
Here is are two 4 minute clips about setting boundaries:
Thanks guys. I just got off the phone with my grandbabies "dad".
He "expected" this call. I just freaking let him have it. Like what? You've been gone for 3 years, left this baby cold? Me to hold the bag and now you're Mr. hero to receive this call for helping?
Told your family not to help for your pride? You have his back to crash? Thank you for your checks but do you know it does not even cover diapers much less child care so I can go to work to buy other stuff he needs?
And now I'm the freaking loser grandma asking for help? You better damn change your attitide and tone buddy!
He relented which is all I wanted. I want some damn help. I want to be in the babies life but not to raise him alone which I have been thanks to all of them.
He blames my daugther for not working. Now I see she can't. She has bigger issues than I thought.
He's like I always worked and she don't have to. Well regardless, he's working and not helping in my mind! He has no worries about sick baby or who's going to watch him while he's gone! His working does not do a hill of beans for the baby. So my daughter does not work. What's the difference? Neither of them help.
Either she picked a loser dad for my grandbaby or he picked a loser girl. Regardless, I care for the baby cause they don't. They can play the blame game all they want. It's me and the baby that lives it.
Thanks for reading my post. I'm just lost.
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Creating Boundaries
