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My daughter will be 4 in December. She still has mini "meltdowns" now and then. She wants what she wants, and gets really frustrated when she doesn't get her way. Sometimes she will throw a toy, or try to hit me. (which she really wouldn't dare) But mostly she falls to the floor crying and or kicking and turns her body into a wet noodle. But I don't react to her negatively or positively. The tantrums are cut short if I don't feed into it. KWIM?
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Originally Posted by max's mama
Big hugs to you. I know how difficult it can be to have a screaming toddler who just won't calm down.
On the better note, I want to tell you that it does get easier. Although 3's is still a tantrum age, it mellows down a lot. I can see a really big difference between 2 1/2 and 3 with my son.
One of the reasons the tantrums happen is because a toddler has such a difficult time communicating his needs. Sometimes he won't know what bothers him. Sometimes the emotions are so strong and he just doesn't know how to deal with them, work thru them. That's why you are so terribly needed to work WITH HIM during this difficult time. Keeping him safe, staying close but still giving him the space to rave, staying calm, reassuring him that you are here for him...
Trying to figure out the trigger is also your job: is he overtired? hungry? teething? What can be bothering him?
Sometimes, a stable and predictable routine with an adequate amount of sleep can do miracles.
Additionally - did you check with allergist? Allergies in children can turn into monsters!!! I'm serious. Try to avoid artificial dyes and sugar as well.
Most importantly, please don't take it personally. He is not out to get you, he is not purposefully pushing your buttons, he loves you and he needs your love.
Time outs at 2??? How can they possibly work? You are just creating isolation during the time he needs you the most. I much prefer time-ins, "peace/comfort" corners. A place where he can calm down and recharge.
Sometimes giving "no-reaction" does help.
Consistency does help. Children look for boundaries. I believe in this 100%. Sometimes, we confuse them: one day we allow them to do something and another day we won't allow the same thing. These type of mixed messages can trigger a very angry reaction from a child. Setting limits is so important.
my daughter will be two next month and she has gotten so clingy. i cant leave her sight with out her throwing one heck of a hissy fit. she beats on the doors and throws herself in the floor if i even go downstairs to do laundry. i also have a one year old son and a three year old step son so i dont think terrible twos will ever end. i have noticed that since my son was born the older two are extremely jealous. if i am sitting on the couch or in the rocker with my son my daughter will climb up in my lap and try to squeeze in between me and him and push him out of the way. i have literally had to sit my daughter on my knee while i went to the bathroom before because she would not stop whining! kinda irritating you know! i feel like sometimes i need he super nanny to get them in line. my daughter also is going through this thing where she refuses to sleep in her own bed and ends up in mine.
what about bed time? that is really when he just doesn't want to do what he is told. He is 17 months old and is in daycare. He normally goes to bed when I put him down around 7:30/ 8:00 depends on how sleepy he is.. But the past few days he screams and gets out of bed and stands at the door and just freaks out.. How long do I let him stand there before I put him back to bed. Or do I let him get up until he is more tired.. I really don't think I should let him stay up.. HELP!!
I am familiar with being hit and bitten. Glad those days are over.
Hold firmly but not too tight, the intent is to calmly still but not squeeze or suffocate...not always the fix but recommended. And although it is true that time-outs don't seem to be productive at that age (would not have worked on me - ever), when you are at your wits end, putting him in a SECURE environment where he can't harm himself so that you can walk away for 5 minutes and clear your head is absolutely the right thing to do.
It seems harsh but that's the mistake too many parents make - they lose control of the situation...and then we read about it in the paper.
wow thanks for starting this thread. i was beginning to think my son was the only one like this. he is 21 months and for the past several weeks has been a terror (where is MY child?!? yes, the one who loves to cuddle all the time!!). he's calmed down some, but i'm still waiting for him to blow up. lately, he's been leaving his room and coming to ours. we have the gate up at his door and he's still managed to shimmy over it--now, without making any noise (my little ninja). i've thought about shutting his door, but i just can't get myself to do it (i'm so afraid something is going to happen and i won't be able to hear it through a closed door).
wow thanks for starting this thread. i was beginning to think my son was the only one like this. he is 21 months and for the past several weeks has been a terror (where is MY child?!? yes, the one who loves to cuddle all the time!!). he's calmed down some, but i'm still waiting for him to blow up. lately, he's been leaving his room and coming to ours. we have the gate up at his door and he's still managed to shimmy over it--now, without making any noise (my little ninja). i've thought about shutting his door, but i just can't get myself to do it (i'm so afraid something is going to happen and i won't be able to hear it through a closed door).
any suggestions?
Please don't take this personally, but buck up, mom. Start being firm, start being a parent...and no, if you shut a door & use common sense & intutition, the boogey man is not going to jump out of the closet & get your son.
You want him to walk all over you? Then be timid & afraid of being a firm parent. See how enjoyable that comes a few months down the road.
There comes a time when every single child has a change in his or her personality. May be 1yrs of age, 3yrs of age, 25yrs of age....it happens to every single solitary person on this planet.
They are not 2 week old little bundles who want to be kissed & hugged & googled over.
Your child is starting to form a personality & starting to understand how things work, why things work & at the same time, cannot comprehend many things around. He is interested in everything around him, wants to touch & see everything & wants to challenge everything...not b/c he is bad, but because HE IS A TODDLER. He doesn't want to cuddle with you all day. Maybe at times, but at this point in his life, there are much more interesting things to do in his opinion!
This is phase #1 of #497,652 that is to come until he becomes a teenager.
And you're waiting for him to blow up? Why are you waiting? Who runs the home...you or him? YOU are allowing him to blow up. Set down rules. Be consistent.
Parenting is much more enjoyable & manageable when you realize that every day is different in the world of a toddler & it is YOUR JOB to keep consistency in your manner, tone, disciplining, etc.
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