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Old 06-14-2008, 12:18 AM
 
1,874 posts, read 585,490 times
Reputation: 145

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Quote:
Originally Posted by k350 View Post
I am married, male, and we are both in our early 30's. To me its not even something to discuss, we are not having kids now. We are both in college and generally poor.

I just get tired of the same stupid subject coming up all the time with an excuse of nothing other than "I want to be a grandma". As if that statement has any meaning. I told my mom to go freakin adopt one then if she wants one so bad. My wife is really rude about it now as she is tired of hearing it.

Some people just do not understand things, I am not here to live my life to reproduce, I am ehre to have a good time and enjoy life the way I want to, not how someone else wants to. It gets me irritated as heck to here "maybe I should have had another kid so he would have kids".

The people maing the commetns in the family can not even take care of themselves, they have crappy jobs and live poor, but yet advocate kid after kid for people. Freakin ridiculous.

Plus I had cancer, so reproducing for us is not as simple as it would be naturally, some people just do not get it or care to.
My sister is kinda like that. She wants children and I don't. She tries to put pressure on me to think about it, and doesn't want me to get a vasectomy unless I tell her about it.

 
Old 06-14-2008, 12:26 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
2,657 posts, read 4,975,367 times
Reputation: 4183
Quote:
Originally Posted by k350 View Post
I just get tired of the same stupid subject coming up all the time with an excuse of nothing other than "I want to be a grandma".
I hear ya. But I learned that protests or arguments get you nowhere. Just like parents have an internal mute button that switches on when their kids are howling and bothering other people, the childed often have this switch that turns on the "la la la" sounds to the statements of CF. I often resorted to something outrageous. When told, back when I was in my early 40s, "you better get crackin', time's running out", I'd say something like "good gawd, I'm at the age where my eggs are starting to rot. Any kid I have would probably turn out to be a mutant!" That generally earns a laugh or dropped-jaw silence.

I do have a concern about our retirement. Will we be able to find CF senior citizens to hang out with? The demographics are against my partner and I. The number of younger people who are CF continues to grow:

Quote:
It's a trend that applies to all age groups: For the 25 to 29 bracket, 28 percent were childless in 1998, up from 16 percent in 1976; for 30- to 34-year-olds, it was 20 percent, compared with 11 percent in 1976; for 40- to 44-year-olds, 19 percent were childless, up from 10 percent in 1976. The 2000 census figures on fertility weren't available at press time, but Amara Bachu, co-author of the Census Bureau's 1998 report, "Fertility of American Women," says: "From the data we've gathered so far, it looks like childlessness is continuing to go up."
Childless By Choice - childless couples an emerging demographic - Statistical Data Included | American Demographics | Find Articles at BNET.com

but CF Baby Boomers - those born in the 50s, up to the earlier 60s; the age group of my mate and I; are statistically sparse.

The last damned thing I want to hear about from other people my age is grandkids! *Yuck* The key will be to seek out other CFs. That is made easier these days with internet access. Once retired, I hope to be able to travel and meet CF folks I've hung out with on message boards.
 
Old 06-14-2008, 12:27 AM
 
1,591 posts, read 2,306,759 times
Reputation: 1170
Quote:
Originally Posted by LAFan View Post
I'm not looking for a girlfriend at this time. But what I fear is that there won't be anymore childfree women left in the future. I could never tell if they're going to change their minds if they claim they never want kids, that would scare me if I was with a someone who did that.
It depends where you live. I can tell you that where I live, seeing a child free woman over 25, or heck even 21 is rare and most of the time they are not even from here.

Seems here they have to pump and dump the minute they are biologically able to.
 
Old 06-14-2008, 12:42 AM
 
1,874 posts, read 585,490 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by k350 View Post
It depends where you live. I can tell you that where I live, seeing a child free woman over 25, or heck even 21 is rare and most of the time they are not even from here.

Seems here they have to pump and dump the minute they are biologically able to.
Teen pregnancy have occured at my old high school. I wouldn't want to be with a girl I didn't know wasn't my type and later break up.
 
Old 06-14-2008, 01:31 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
2,657 posts, read 4,975,367 times
Reputation: 4183
Quote:
Originally Posted by LAFan View Post
My sister is kinda like that. She wants children and I don't. She tries to put pressure on me to think about it, and doesn't want me to get a vasectomy unless I tell her about it.
Sit down and watch this show together

Baby Borrowers TV Show | Official Site, Reality Based Series, Teen Parenting Advice | NBC.com
Quote:
NBC's upcoming reality series "The Baby Borrowers" is an intriguing new social experiment based on the hit British program that asks five diverse teenage couples -- ages 18-20 -- to fast-track to adulthood by setting up a home, getting a job and becoming caring parents first to babies, toddlers, pre-teens and their pets, teenagers and senior citizens -- all over the course of three weeks.

As the social experiment begins, the five young volunteer couples are asked to literally grow up overnight when they are each given a home in a quiet cul-de-sac outside Boise, Idaho and attend pre-natal classes as each "mother" wears a simulated "empathy" belly to prepare them for the arrival of their "baby."

When a real baby (all aged six-11 months old) appears at their door -- courtesy of five pairs of real volunteer parents (some of whom were teen parents themselves) who entrust their infants to one of the couples -- the nervous, fumbling teens are in for three long, arduous days that make chilling out a distant memory. They must stick to rigid routines, handle the feeding chores, diaper duty and crying jags that might be shared by baby and teens -- all the while under 24-hour supervision by nannies and the real parents who are stationed next door, watching via monitor, and able to step in at any time. Plus, one teen from each of the couples must start a job, ranging from working in a local vet's office to a lumberyard, leaving the other alone as caregiver for the day.

After three surprising, intense days, each teen couple will bid bye-bye to the baby and receive a toddler as their fast-forward adult life progresses. They will have to cope with typical "terrible twos" behavior, including pouty tantrums, potty training and other messes. Three days later, the weary couples must face the reality of parenting several sassy pre-teens/"tweeners" at once -- each with a family pet in tow, adding to their responsibilities.

Seventy-two hours later, the teenagers arrive, thereby perhaps providing them with a mirror image of their own recent relationships with their parents. To complete the cycle of life, the experiment ends with as couples are graced with the opportunity to care for a senior citizen, including some with health issues, who represent what might be in store for them in the distant future.

Through this emotional, dramatic journey, each young couple will get a unique opportunity to peer into the future and see what they (and their partners) might be like if they remain together and decide to build a family. Tested by the everyday ups and downs of taking care of others and maintaining a relationship, most of the teens find themselves looking at all of their relationships and notions of parenthood in a new light.
 
Old 06-14-2008, 11:26 AM
 
Location: Here... for now
1,747 posts, read 1,846,669 times
Reputation: 1145
Quote:
K350 said:
I just get tired of the same stupid subject coming up all the time with an excuse of nothing other than "I want to be a grandma".
Ma should know by now, you can't always get what you want.

Quote:
LAFan said:
My sister ... doesn't want me to get a vasectomy unless I tell her about it.
My goodness, sis is waaaaaaay out of line on that one. That is none of her business and if I were you, I'd tell her so in no uncertain terms.

Sorry to be harsh but I can't believe the audacity of some relatives! How rude!
 
Old 06-14-2008, 11:56 AM
 
1,874 posts, read 585,490 times
Reputation: 145
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nelly Nomad View Post
Ma should know by now, you can't always get what you want.

My goodness, sis is waaaaaaay out of line on that one. That is none of her business and if I were you, I'd tell her so in no uncertain terms.

Sorry to be harsh but I can't believe the audacity of some relatives! How rude!
She's older than me, that's why.
 
Old 06-14-2008, 12:08 PM
 
Location: Here... for now
1,747 posts, read 1,846,669 times
Reputation: 1145
Older than you, younger than you, it is still none of her business. It is no one's business besides you, your SO and your doctor. And maybe your insurance company. Everyone else, back off.
 
Old 06-14-2008, 12:21 PM
 
Location: Sacramento
2,395 posts, read 4,056,460 times
Reputation: 1662
If the issue is family telling you what to do then get over it. It happens to all of us. Kids or no kids. Big sisters are specially a pain. My older sister bugs me, I bug my younger siblings.
 
Old 06-14-2008, 01:08 PM
 
Location: Kingman AZ
15,379 posts, read 22,984,484 times
Reputation: 8580
When I used to say "I don't like or want kids" people would say "ohhhh sure you do....." then I would say..."That's true.....chicken fried is best".....they would shut up.....

Now I am raising wifes g'kids.....very interesting.....do I regret not having my own....not for one second
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