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Now being childfree, I deal with and face harassment from people who are parents or future parents whenever I bring up this subject. The only reason I bring this up is when I ask if they know any girls my age who are 100% childfree. I get called selfish, immature, too young. People always say I'll change my mind later on. My dad was kinda like that when I was a teenager because he wanted grandchildren.
Do you have a problem with people who don't want children? If your kids made the decision at a young age that they were never going wanted kids in their life, would you criticize them just for that?
If you're referring to people as "breeders" maybe that's why they're giving you hell? I dunno. Just a thought. It's pretty rude. I'm a lesbian and I hate when other gays/lesbians use that term to refer to het folk. It's derogatory and just bad manners.
As for the rest of your post, no. I could care less who has kids and who doesn't. It's like religion; leave me alone and I'll leave you alone... so as long as people respect my decisions, it's mutual. I don't like "child haters" any more than I like any kind of "haters".
My son (16) says he's not going to have kids. It saddens me a little because he's awesome, great looking, and would make a great dad. His choice though.. and I totally respect his decision to at least put off the whole kid thing until he is older. He says he's not having them most likely but if he does have them he'll be 30 before it happens. I'm cool with that, having had him young (19) and struggled a lot as a result. If he decides never to have kids, then I would respect that too.. but I'm all about letting my kids grow up and make their own decisions without ragging from me. I realize a lot of parents, sadly, don't know when to let go.
If you're referring to people as "breeders" maybe that's why they're giving you hell? I dunno. Just a thought. It's pretty rude. I'm a lesbian and I hate when other gays/lesbians use that term to refer to het folk. It's derogatory and just bad manners.
As for the rest of your post, no. I could care less who has kids and who doesn't. It's like religion; leave me alone and I'll leave you alone... so as long as people respect my decisions, it's mutual. I don't like "child haters" any more than I like any kind of "haters".
My son (16) says he's not going to have kids. It saddens me a little because he's awesome, great looking, and would make a great dad. His choice though.. and I totally respect his decision to at least put off the whole kid thing until he is older. He says he's not having them most likely but if he does have them he'll be 30 before it happens. I'm cool with that, having had him young (19) and struggled a lot as a result. If he decides never to have kids, then I would respect that too.. but I'm all about letting my kids grow up and make their own decisions without ragging from me. I realize a lot of parents, sadly, don't know when to let go.
I'm 19 going on to 20, and people harass me just because of my age. Whats the difference if someone is 19 or 29?
Now being childfree, I deal with and face harassment from people who are parents or future parents whenever I bring up this subject. The only reason I bring this up is when I ask if they know any girls my age who are 100% childfree. I get called selfish, immature, too young. People always say I'll change my mind later on. My dad was kinda like that when I was a teenager because he wanted grandchildren.
Do you have a problem with people who don't want children? If your kids made the decision at a young age that they were never going wanted kids in their life, would you criticize them just for that?
Absolutely not. I have a problem with people who do not take care of their children and that includes the ones who let their little darlings wreak havoc all over stores, restaurants, etc.
If you do not want them, do not get pregnant. Now, if you change your mind at 45, please adopt.
Absolutely not. I have a problem with people who do not take care of their children and that includes the ones who let their little darlings wreak havoc all over stores, restaurants, etc.
If you do not want them, do not get pregnant. Now, if you change your mind at 45, please adopt.
All I ever wanted to be "when I grew up" was a mother. After many years of trying, I finally adopted two children in my 40s. My now 16 year old daughter swears she's never going to have children. Even though it was my very strong desire to have kids, if she doesn't want kids, that's her decision. It wouldn't bother me at all. It's her life. I, personally, think she may change her mind -- she's only 16 -- but if she doesn't, so be it. I'm also not one of those mothers who feels she needs grandkids. It would be nice, but nothing I couldn't live without. To each his own.
LAFan, have you ever tried to get pregnant? Maybe if you try hard enough; really, really try, then biology, shmiology.
People get on your case because you are young and most believe that young people can't possibly know what they want. And, for some reason, people just looove to be older and wiser. People do change their minds about children, but until you do, it's really quite silly for others to argue with you. It's not like you're going to say, "Holy crap! You're right. I just might change my mind one day, so why don't I go out and have sex with anyone and everyone I can, so that I can have children."
But, we need to come up with a nice response for those busybodies. When I come up with one, I'll let you know.
LAFan, have you ever tried to get pregnant? Maybe if you try hard enough; really, really try, then biology, shmiology.
People get on your case because you are young and most believe that young people can't possibly know what they want. And, for some reason, people just looove to be older and wiser. People do change their minds about children, but until you do, it's really quite silly for others to argue with you. It's not like you're going to say, "Holy crap! You're right. I just might change my mind one day, so why don't I go out and have sex with anyone and everyone I can, so that I can have children."
But, we need to come up with a nice response for those busybodies. When I come up with one, I'll let you know.
If you look at my previous posts, you'll see that I'm a guy and people, especially judges me because I have no interest in fatherhood at all. As for sex, I'll have a vasectomy before I do that. I'm not lying on that.
I really can't stand people who don't respect other people's decision when it comes between being a parent or wanting to stay childfree, whether they're young or old.
I'm 19 going on to 20, and people harass me just because of my age. Whats the difference if someone is 19 or 29?
The fact that you ask the question is the difference between 19 and 29.
Now to your original question. The responses you get probably have to do with the way you say you don't want children. Saying "I don't want children because I don't think I can handle them" is different from saying "I don't want children because they are a pain in the butt".
And there is always the saying never say never. When I was 16 I told everybody I was never going to get married. At 23 I was the first of all my cousins to marry. It is the best thing I ever did.
As regards to people not wanting children, I could care less.
I don't think I'd ever criticize anyone's choice to remain child-free. Heck, there are a lot of people who probably should have made that choice because they are, sorry to be so harsh, lousy parents. If you know in your heart that you don't have the mindset to make a commitment to a child for at LEAST 18 years, better to just not have any kids.
Like Flawless said, I'd be disappointed if my own son decided he wanted to remain childless, but I'd most certainly respect his decision. He knows himself better than anyone else in the world and I know he'd take either decision (to be a dad or to not be a dad) very seriously.
FWIW, I think he'd make a terrific dad. But not for another 10 or more years!
Last edited by Nelly Nomad; 06-11-2008 at 10:15 PM..
Reason: to correct a typo -- chanced "lice" to "like" :)
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