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I didn't vote but I do have an opinion. Taking out the physical concerns (the effects of the mother's age on the growing fetus), I don't think having kids should hinge on age; it should hinge on preparedness.
What do I mean by "preparedness"? I'm talking about maturity and emotional preparedness. I'm talking about the desire and the willingness to make a minimum 18-year commitment, regardless of circumstances. Parenting is one of the most important commitments you'll ever make in your life. It is not for the feint of heart nor for those who think it's just a frolic in the park.
One should have gotten the party, party, party mentality out of their systems before becoming a parent. By the same token, a parent should, in my opinion, be ready and willing to get on the floor and play, play, play! Explore! Teach AND learn.
Ideally (key word there), I think parents should be part of a COUPLE (I'm flexible on the word "couple") who have spent at least 5 years getting to really know one another. And yes, I'm talking about a COUPLE, because I feel the ideal (again, key word: ideal) situation for kids is to be part of family in which there are two adults working as a team. Do other family configurations work? Absolutely. But in my opinion, the ideal situation is an adult team raising the child(ren).
I'm also talking about financial preparedness. I know others may think this is elitist, but I personally feel folks should wait to have children until they can afford to support those children. Ideally (again, note the word "ideally"), both parties should have had a good education, good enough to maintain a decent paying job.
Physical concerns aside, some people are ready in their 20s, others aren't ready until their 40s and some people are never really ready. For the record, DH and I waited until our mid-30s. By then we felt we had all our ducks in a row. We haven't regretted the decision for even one minute. Of course, as with most things, YMMV.
We started-right away after marriage-in our 20's (with the last at 32). I'm glad we did and were able to easily have kids. I don't know now, at 37, if I'd be up for 5 kids in 10 years again!
But...we have spoken of 'one more', maybe when I'm 40. So I may eat my words lol.
I didn't vote but I do have an opinion. Taking out the physical concerns (the effects of the mother's age on the growing fetus), I don't think having kids should hinge on age; it should hinge on preparedness.
What do I mean by "preparedness"? I'm talking about maturity and emotional preparedness. I'm talking about the desire and the willingness to make a minimum 18-year commitment, regardless of circumstances. Parenting is one of the most important commitments you'll ever make in your life. It is not for the feint of heart nor for those who think it's just a frolic in the park.
One should have gotten the party, party, party mentality out of their systems before becoming a parent. By the same token, a parent should, in my opinion, be ready and willing to get on the floor and play, play, play! Explore! Teach AND learn.
Ideally (key word there), I think parents should be part of a COUPLE (I'm flexible on the word "couple") who have spent at least 5 years getting to really know one another. And yes, I'm talking about a COUPLE, because I feel the ideal (again, key word: ideal) situation for kids is to be part of family in which there are two adults working as a team. Do other family configurations work? Absolutely. But in my opinion, the ideal situation is an adult team raising the child(ren).
I'm also talking about financial preparedness. I know others may think this is elitist, but I personally feel folks should wait to have children until they can afford to support those children. Ideally (again, note the word "ideally"), both parties should have had a good education, good enough to maintain a decent paying job.
Physical concerns aside, some people are ready in their 20s, others aren't ready until their 40s and some people are never really ready. For the record, DH and I waited until our mid-30s. By then we felt we had all our ducks in a row. We haven't regretted the decision for even one minute. Of course, as with most things, YMMV.
Wow, that was longer than I expected!
I could´t agree more with all your points. I tried to rep you but could not.
I was 29 when we had our first child (lost one before) and I had just turned 40 when our last child was born.
I agree with Nelly's post, though I'd add in that I feel it would be ideal for the couple to wait until they can live on one income so that mom (or dad) can stay home with their kids until they are school-aged. This takes sacrifice and hard work, but it's definitely doable! I was 22 (almost 23) when I had my first child, and I still had to work for over a year before I could stay home full-time with him. In my case, waiting until I was 25 would have been prudent, but of course now I would not change things for the world!
Before 25, if at all possible. I'm 27 now, and definitely am too old. I'm childfree, and mostly I love my life, but my age is a factor in my decision. No way am I going to start having kids at 28.
My FIL was 33 when he had my husband and 37 when he had SIL. These days, that sounds reasonable, maybe even young. But he probably won't live to see much of his grandchildren, if he lives to see any born at all.
I didn't vote but I do have an opinion. Taking out the physical concerns (the effects of the mother's age on the growing fetus), I don't think having kids should hinge on age; it should hinge on preparedness.
What do I mean by "preparedness"? I'm talking about maturity and emotional preparedness. I'm talking about the desire and the willingness to make a minimum 18-year commitment, regardless of circumstances. Parenting is one of the most important commitments you'll ever make in your life. It is not for the feint of heart nor for those who think it's just a frolic in the park.
One should have gotten the party, party, party mentality out of their systems before becoming a parent. By the same token, a parent should, in my opinion, be ready and willing to get on the floor and play, play, play! Explore! Teach AND learn.
Ideally (key word there), I think parents should be part of a COUPLE (I'm flexible on the word "couple") who have spent at least 5 years getting to really know one another. And yes, I'm talking about a COUPLE, because I feel the ideal (again, key word: ideal) situation for kids is to be part of family in which there are two adults working as a team. Do other family configurations work? Absolutely. But in my opinion, the ideal situation is an adult team raising the child(ren).
I'm also talking about financial preparedness. I know others may think this is elitist, but I personally feel folks should wait to have children until they can afford to support those children. Ideally (again, note the word "ideally"), both parties should have had a good education, good enough to maintain a decent paying job.
Physical concerns aside, some people are ready in their 20s, others aren't ready until their 40s and some people are never really ready. For the record, DH and I waited until our mid-30s. By then we felt we had all our ducks in a row. We haven't regretted the decision for even one minute. Of course, as with most things, YMMV.
Wow, that was longer than I expected!
I totally agree! I was no way prepared to be a parent in my 20s. We just had twins last month and I'm 40, my partner is 38. There are so many things I think of at this age that never would have occurred to me 15 years ago. Plus we're financially able, have a nice house, great neighbors, great schools. It's very expensive too - with formula and a nanny, they're running about $2500 per month!
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