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Old 06-26-2008, 06:26 AM
 
Location: West Texas
2,441 posts, read 5,200,354 times
Reputation: 3090

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Marilyn, my first recommendation is a wake up call to you. YOU are the parent.. act like it! If you empower her to do whatever she wants.. she's going to do just that, and it sounds like it is.

I have 22 and 16 year old sons, and 15 and 11 year old daughters. My son isn't as big a myspace guy (although he has one), and for my older daughter you would think it was like life support. To tell her to turn it off is like "pulling the plug!" But you know what.. I do it. And I do it when I feel it's right.. not when she does. I also have her password and I (or my wife) check it daily.. for message, content, etc. If we see something inappropriate we tell her to warn her friend who posted it. If they do it again, we tell her to drop the friend. She doesn't have a choice.. I'm the parent.

It's harder now... she normally lives with me for the year, but is out visiting her mom for the summer. While there she changed her password. I called her and told her to give me what it is.. which she did.

Bottom line is one of you has to start acting like a responsible adult.. and since she's not one.. it has to be you. Don't try to be her friend.. she'll have tons of those in her life.. be her mom.. she'll only ever have one of those!!!
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Old 06-26-2008, 07:01 AM
 
3,647 posts, read 9,197,545 times
Reputation: 5423
A lot of kids have a "secondary" MySpace... one that their parents can see, and one that they can't. They keep both pages looking pretty much the same and have their friends continue to post to the "mom" one, but the other one is the one to watch for. (And don't forget Friendster, My yearbook, and the dozens of other sites out there as well)

One way to check this is through vigilance. Check out a couple of her friend's pages for posts from their friends without a photo visible (they'll put up a picture of nature or lips or a cartoon, etc). Those are the profiles to worry about.

Of course, they're wise to this too now (parents checking friends sites). So it's really a hit or miss thing these days. Personally, I'd have a "guardian" on the computer in question, plus only allow her to use the computer at home in a room that I will be walking through.

Unfortunately, where there's a will, there's a way. The kids that usually get hurt in situations like these are those whose parents are clueless, but think either their kid tells them everything or that they're keeping a tight watch on them, but really the kid is super sneaky. It's scary.
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Old 06-26-2008, 07:21 AM
 
2,484 posts, read 7,843,952 times
Reputation: 1911
I think the dead horse has already been beaten to pulp:

Be a parent and lay down the rules. You are not her friend. You are her parent.
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Old 06-26-2008, 07:30 AM
 
Location: Johns Island, SC
797 posts, read 2,676,800 times
Reputation: 1089
Default For the parents out there that "think" their teens myspace page is ok....

Besides having dual accounts, they have many other tricks out there too. There is a whole lot of stuff you might not be seeing because of websites dedicated to teaching myspace users on how to trick out there profiles and hiding stuff is one of the favorites.

There is a backdoor though, if you use firefox as your browser you can view everything that they think they are hiding.

I use to try to keep up with what was really going on by reading everything on her profile and scanning thru the 300+ friends she had. This might work for some parents but for us it got out of control. IMHO I'm not sure online networking is good for any teen, it's kind of like sending them into a bar to hang out and they don't even need to be drunk to loosen up, they already are.
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Old 06-27-2008, 01:28 PM
 
Location: Morristown, TN
9 posts, read 42,902 times
Reputation: 13
What happened to the last 15 years?
Who is the parent?
Who is the one with the authority?
Why is there even a PC in the child?
At 16 a PC is great for school, so loose the internet connection!
Internet research can be done at the library until she learns her lesson.
Sit and ask why she does this?
I do not know why girls think its cool to be sexy online.
Take her to the local jail, and have a tour of the child molestors.
Scare her.......
Talk to a family judge.. Before she ends up as another missing dead girl on the 6 oclock news.
Myspace is inappropriate for some adults let alone these girls showing off what hasn't grown yet.
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Old 06-27-2008, 01:29 PM
 
Location: Morristown, TN
9 posts, read 42,902 times
Reputation: 13
childs room... meant to say.
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Old 06-27-2008, 02:41 PM
 
Location: Kansas
3,855 posts, read 11,359,441 times
Reputation: 1704
Step 1: Yank ethernet cord

Step 2: Remove computer from possession of irresponsible user

Step 3: Seal window to prevent escape/entry

Step 4: Remove phone

Step 5: Remove TV

Step 6: Remove Stereo

Step 7: Remove Ipod

Step 8: Replace all of the above with Webster's Dictionary.
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Old 06-27-2008, 04:09 PM
 
64 posts, read 171,150 times
Reputation: 43
I'm 17, and I spend as much time on the internet as I can. Since I know have my own kid that's not nearly as much as it used to be, but I don't see the problem parents have with their kids being online all the time.
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Old 06-27-2008, 04:12 PM
 
1,921 posts, read 3,696,376 times
Reputation: 1953
Quote:
Originally Posted by lolkat View Post
I'm 17, and I spend as much time on the internet as I can. Since I know have my own kid that's not nearly as much as it used to be, but I don't see the problem parents have with their kids being online all the time.
17 and already have a kid, it was obviously a problem.

Of course you don't and you don't see no problem with being a teenage mother with zero job skills and you do not see a problem with relying on others for support for you and your kid since you can not take care of the kid yourself and most importantly, you are 17 and know everything in the world.

To the OP, this is an example of potentially what is going to be your daughter soon if you do not correct the problem.
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Old 06-27-2008, 04:16 PM
 
64 posts, read 171,150 times
Reputation: 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by k350 View Post
17 and already have a kid, it was obviously a problem.

Of course you don't and you don't see no problem with being a teenage mother with zero job skills and you do not see a problem with relying on others for support for you and your kid since you can not take care of the kid yourself and most importantly, you are 17 and know everything in the world.

To the OP, this is an example of potentially what is going to be your daughter soon if you do not correct the problem.
Assumptions are a wonderful thing, huh?

My boyfriend and I are supporting our daughter on our own money. We don't rely on anyone for anything for her.
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