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My 16 year old daughter is causing all kinds of grief in our family over her "myspace" page. She displays herself as 18 and has already been caught with 3 18 year guys. Even if we shut down our internet she can easily get on at school or at anyones computer. We are in the process of putting a restraining order on one of the boys as we speak. I don't want her to hate us, we would like to handle this situation with dignity, but it has already caused much, much drama in our household. Help
to be honest, I don't see an issue with an 18 and 16 year old. That's the same as a sophomore dating a senior? Maybe I am wrong, I don't know. Most marriages in life have larger age gaps than 2 years.
Now, if the problem is her misrepresenting her age and not the fact that she's dating an 18 year old or being social with one, then that is something that is going to be hard to stop. Do you have a good rapport with your daughter? Try talking to her about the concerns you have as opposed to yelling and grounding, etc?
I think you definetly got yourself stuck between a rock and a hard place. Maybe someone that has the same experience can shed some light more than this guy could. Best of luck with the situation.
Myspace used to be a good website to talk about music... now it is just a website to a hookup with people. The concern with misrepresenting your age on a site like that is you are going to have people on there trying to hookup with you. My guess is this was the situation that caused the restraining order.
Unfortentaly, all you can do is educate her about what she is getting involved with in a tactful manner so you don't push them away.
I wouldn't be so concerned about the 18yr old thing, but she is only 16 and posts herself as 18. She's attracting much older men, we just caught her with a 22 yr old and that is what started the restraining order.
I don't want her to hate us, we would like to handle this situation with dignity, but it has already caused much, much drama in our household. Help
As you were told on the other thread regarding this, it bears saying again- YOU need to be the PARENT!
You are not her friend. And yes it is okay that she 'hates' you. That is usually how a teen feels, especially when the parent is doing their job!Better for you to lay down the law and get serious with these issues, and screw the 'dignity' ( whatever that means)
than to regret not taking a firm, diligent stand later on.
Get rid of the darn computer in your home, or SEVERELY limit her access.
Why does the school allow students to get on MySpace, etc. at school? Aren't tax dolloars supposed to be paying for students to schoolWORK? I would trot my happy self to the school and demand that non educational activities on computers be banned.
As far as her getting on the computer any where else, Ground her a&& and then she won't then, will she.
Good luck, you really need to set some stiff parameters if you mean business.
If she would go, family therapy might help. There are therapist specifically trained in marriage and family therapy and they list themselves as such in the phone book. My daughter was so good at hiding what she was doing that we didn't know until she flunked out of school for skipping so many days. Good luck!
As you were told on the other thread regarding this, it bears saying again- YOU need to be the PARENT!
You are not her friend. And yes it is okay that she 'hates' you. That is usually how a teen feels, especially when the parent is doing their job!Better for you to lay down the law and get serious with these issues, and screw the 'dignity' ( whatever that means)
than to regret not taking a firm, diligent stand later on.
Get rid of the darn computer in your home, or SEVERELY limit her access.
Why does the school allow students to get on MySpace, etc. at school? Aren't tax dolloars supposed to be paying for students to schoolWORK? I would trot my happy self to the school and demand that non educational activities on computers be banned.As far as her getting on the computer any where else, Ground her a&& and then she won't then, will she.
Good luck, you really need to set some stiff parameters if you mean business.
Most schools I know of have that function in place
Whomever is doing the IT for them can easily ban access to any web site
you will usually get a big red Access Denied message
My 16 year old daughter is causing all kinds of grief in our family over her "myspace" page. She displays herself as 18 and has already been caught with 3 18 year guys. Even if we shut down our internet she can easily get on at school or at anyones computer. We are in the process of putting a restraining order on one of the boys as we speak. I don't want her to hate us, we would like to handle this situation with dignity, but it has already caused much, much drama in our household. Help
First of all, you're dealing with a teenager. She's going to "hate" you for one reason or another...whether it's MySpace or something else.
As for the dignity and drama, again, you're dealing with a teenaged girl. By definition, you WILL have drama and, unfortunately, dignity goes out the window.
I already put my two cents in your other post. But let me summarize:
1. YOU are the adult.. act like it. (That's not a slam on you.. but a recommendation to be more aggressive and assertive about your role).
2. She will have plenty of friends in life, but only one mom... BE the mom!
As far as the age thing.. my daughter did the same thing and when I initially found out I was furious. But instead of jumping down her throat, I simply asked her about it. She told me she did it to avoid pedophiles. She thought that if she put her age as under 18, it might be a flag for people looking for that. Hard to fault her for thinking that way.
Then, we had her delete that one and start a private one (where people HAVE to know your name and get approval to add). Of course, if you have a deviant child, there's always a chance they will have 2 or 20 other ones, so what's the point? My point is that I trust my daughter and try to guide her (emphasis on "try"). I CAN, however, control her use of the internet. So, she doesn't follow my rules... no computer access. Pretty simple.
I have sent her to Fl to spend time with her dad. She will be home on the 5th of the month. Her stepfather and I have already scheduled family counseling for all of us. I hope it helps. The thing is that she is on the computer down there also. (her dad bought it for her) I am so thankful for everyones advise because I love her and we have always been best friends until now, and she blames everything on her stepdad, who has raised her since she has been 2 yrs old. He sees through her more than I do, so he is getting the brunt of most of this and this is causing conflict between the two of us. I have 7 children, all grown except two of them, but I only had 2 girls. They didn't have the myspace when the first girl was growing up, so this is all new to me. I also have a drs. appt on Monday for stress, my blood pressure has gone up to 199/115 and my stress level is high. Thank you all for your support. (I am no young thing anymore)
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