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I think this post was directed at me since I seem to be the only one that disagreed with the orginal post.
Jenn, I rarely try to direct my posts at anyone. I'm sure there were many people who read your post and agreed with you... they just didn't feel like replying themselves (figuring you had said it all), or didn't want to, or whatever.
Secondly... I'm NOT Father-of-the-Year as any of my kids will tell you. I made plenty of mistakes, and the fact that I was in the Navy for almost 21 years, I missed at least 5 years of their life growing up while I was on deployments. Most of my learnings were "direct experience" (read: my own screw-ups). So, I am not the person to thrown the first stone.
And, I think these forums are designed for people to express diverse (and opposing) views. I can tell you that I have had my mind changed by very persuasive and logical or factual points of view. So, whether you agree with me or not means nothing to either of us. If you or I learn from each other, on the other hand, then the posts have meaning.
But... if you're feeling guilty that it was aimed at you.. must be a reason... (KIDDING!)
I have no doubts you are doing the best you can. Keep an open mind, look at what people say (not those that agree with you, but those that don't), and maybe we can all learn to be better. Isn't that what parenting is about, after all? Raising the children the best way we can? Good luck!
My kids learned their multiplication tables in the car, along with any other thing I could think of to quiz them on. A DVD player would not have been a good thing.
My kids learned their multiplication tables in the car, along with any other thing I could think of to quiz them on. A DVD player would not have been a good thing.
We learned the state capitals in the car and the Greek alphabet. It kept us from fighting, I guess.
Dunno about the rest of the USA but right here we were told by the school our kids ''must have a cellphone or they can't play ball for the school''.
Why? Well, I asked the same thing. Three towns share the same school,we have about 530 kids K-8'th grade in the one and only building ( no middle school ) and it is a drive to get there from our neck of the woods. The school has ''no pratice scedule at all'', they decide one day to the next if they will have pratice after school or not. That means with two kids playing ball, one being on the boys team, other being on the girls team, we don't know witch kid will get off the buss out here and witch one won't. That means when a kid don't get off the buss, we have to get in the car and go get the other and by then, they are standing ''alone with other kids wating to be picked up'' as pratice is over about the time the buss dropped the other kid off at home. The coach gets very pissed when he has to wait on parents to get there and says these kids must have a way to ''call home so we can be on the way to get them as pratice is over while busses are letting kids off at home.'' We can't be in two places at once not knowing if one or the other had to stay 30 minutes after school cause the coach decided to have pratice around his own life needs. I asked why the school can't just call on these sprint of the moment pratices? The school says it's not their place to call home to tell us, nor is it their place to let kids use the school phones, there for, if we want to avoid all the hassle, we can just break down and buy cellphones for our kids or they can't play ball for the school.
Do we tell our kids they can't play ball for the school? Nope,we are not a-holes,we let our kids enjoy life playing ball each year and they each have a cell.
This lack of respect is being taught at home and enforced at schools through the lack of parental supports that the teachers so desperately need. I taught Middle School prior to staying home with my children and I am seriously dreading going back because of this. I worked in a rural part of Western NY- between Rochester and Syracuse. The kids were not taught to respect their teachers... IN FACT when you called home to inform the parents of the disrespectful acts that had taken place in class that day the parent would say "When they are at school they are your problem"... Where do you think the kids are actually learning this behavior from? I don't blame tv... I blame the parents.
And I thought I was the only one who had a parent tell me something of this nature...I heard "It's your responsibilty to discipline him in school, not mine."
But see, before I could even call home I had to have the reason in writing & approved by the VP AND Principal.
Life went on just fine prior to cell phones, internet, ATMs, SUVs, and awards to every player on the soccer team b/c they came to practice. Awarding kids for showing up?
Society is jacked up in its priorities. Parents have every excuse & validiation imaginable all based on the redundant "Because its in the best interest of my child". BS. It's what parents are doing to make THEIR life easier so THEY don't have to deal with the tough part of parenting--the complaining, the tears, the fights, the angry child, etc.
I have a family member who dropped out of HS. Her parents said it was just easier to let her drop out than battle with her every day to attend school. They didn't require her to get a job when she dropped out b/c they said she didn't have the emotional strength to handle a "boss" and it was just easier to pay her credit card (that they cosigned for) than watch her get fired from every job. At 25, she works a part time job, lives at home with her 2 young children from 2 different fathers who are no longer in the picture. Now, her mom & dad are paying for her credit card & the needs of her 2 young children. When my dh & I try to approach ways to get them to stop enabling her, it's always "It's just easier"; "She's so vulnerable & frail"; "We feel bad b/c of the kids.". It's an awful situation that truly has been intensified by her parents who refuse to give her a quick kick in the butt, some professional counseling, and the word "No, we are not going to let you live off of us". And now her parents are so depressed b/c they cannot retire or do things they want to in their older years b/c of this situation. Sorry, you helped create it & still encourage it.
Life doesn't work the way parents are letting their kids think. You can't always get everything you want. Not everything in life is handed to you b/c you showed up to work & "tried".
Common sense needs to be applied. But so many in today's society are not applying it. Instant gratification seems to be the norm & a trained behavior.
Guess I will never win "Mommy of the Year". I know there will be battles ahead. That's fine. I will take on those battles in order to save my children from what society is letting them so easily become.
So what about the family that does not have the financial means to get a cell?
That statement is close to discrimantory.
The situation is incredibly extreme & bizarre.
Then they'd better hope a friend will let them use their phone.
Yes, it does sound bizarre and extreme. So does your son getting kicked out of school cause his hair was nearly to his shoulders ( about two more inches and it would've been ). I know, I had to go over the schools head to win the battle of making them let him back in without cutting it. I see many boys with longer hair than my sons hair but in small towns,they try to make the rules as they go. The judge told my son his hair was fine and his school or any school that he knew of had no policy stating he could not let it grow a little.He said he could grow it down his back if he wishes and the school couldn't kick him out again.
And I should also add how things turned out after we won that battle. Our son got paddled for anything and everything the rest of the year out of spite since we beat them on the hair issue. It was his last year there ,thank God, now he'll be in 9'th grade in another town where our highschool is.The k through 8'th grammer school here is run by pure rednecks,sadly.
And while I'm hot about it, I'll also add that both my kids have always been in the paper for being honer roll students every year. But,after we beat the school with his hair, they made plenty sure his all A's went down the toilet after that.He went to C's and D's out of nowhere, but at the end of the year he tested two years ahead of his class.Whats up with that? My son never had to bring books home in all his years in school as he done his work in class. The teachers found out he didn't have a printer at home,so they started making him take his work home to be printed rather than letting him use the school computers. I raised a fuss over that to, but the teacher said '' it's only 16 miles to Smithville from your house, you can drive him there to use the public library computer''.
Yep, you can say I lost all respect for DeKalb West school. If you and your kids were born and raised here, your kids will do no wrong, but oh boy, don't come here as an outsider and expect your kids to be treated the same after the school don't have their way over something.You'll live a nightmare dealing with them ever after.
And I should also add how things turned out after we won that battle. Our son got paddled for anything and everything the rest of the year out of spite since we beat them on the hair issue. It was his last year there ,thank God, now he'll be in 9'th grade in another town where our highschool is.The k through 8'th grammer school here is run by pure rednecks,sadly.
And while I'm hot about it, I'll also add that both my kids have always been in the paper for being honer roll students every year. But,after we beat the school with his hair, they made plenty sure his all A's went down the toilet after that.He went to C's and D's out of nowhere, but at the end of the year he tested two years ahead of his class.Whats up with that? My son never had to bring books home in all his years in school as he done his work in class. The teachers found out he didn't have a printer at home,so they started making him take his work home to be printed rather than letting him use the school computers. I raised a fuss over that to, but the teacher said '' it's only 16 miles to Smithville from your house, you can drive him there to use the public library computer''.
Yep, you can say I lost all respect for DeKalb West school. If you and your kids were born and raised here, your kids will do no wrong, but oh boy, don't come here as an outsider and expect your kids to be treated the same after the school don't have their way over something.You'll live a nightmare dealing with them ever after.
Wow. That is some bad school-running. I hope HS treats your kids better.
What a nightmare! Thank goodness his high school will be in a different town because if they did the same things they would be messing with his future!
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(KIDDING!)
