Does spanking children really teach anything to our children in a positive perspective? (punishment, toddler)

[BobKovacs]

My kids have received the occasional smack on the rear, and I doubt it's done them any harm. As someone said before, it teaches them that there are repercussions to not doing what you're told (repeatedly) in certain cases, far more than "now Suzie, you need to sit in the corner and think about what you did" ever will. I wouldn't make it a daily part of discipline like some folks will, but I think the OP is a little hyper-sensitive with the whole "breaking the bond of trust" bit, if you ask me. I work with enough young folks who've been through the "lets hold hands and sing Kumbaya" school of parenting to know that plenty of them could have used a good kick in the ass during their upbringing......

[ottomobeale]

Spank for serious infractions like hitting sister with toy car. (big one. It hurt Im sure. Caused big red bump)
Timeout for stupid small things.

Its about balance.

[Alex07860]

I can tell you this, I wasn't an easy child to deal with and by all accounts by all my elders I was hell on wheels, everyone in my family (aunt's, uncles, grandparents) had the right to spank me if they caught me doing something wrong which was often, I can honestly tell you that I was spanked at least twice a week, don't get me wrong, I know I deserved it and I can honestly tell you that if it weren't for all those beatings, I'd probably be either in jail or dead, but also, after each and every spanking my mom (which was the enforcer btw) would sit me down and we would talk about what was it that I did wrong and she always ended it w/ giving me a kiss and telling me she loved me. Not once did I ever think that I was abused or mistreated, as a matter of fact, whenever I knew I was about to do something "wrong" I weighed the consequences "Would this be worth something getting a spank/beating if I get caught?" if the answer was yes, I went ahead and did it. I love my mom to death and we have an amazing great relationship and I thank GOD that she was as tough as she was w/ me.

[nicolem]

Originally Posted by NJ K

Yeah, even I got chased with the wooden spoon, doc1. No fetishes here! Oh, sure, there's the occasional sociopathic, Dahmer-esque personal zombie fantasy whenever I look at Johnny Depp, but that could be incidental!

Yes I was spanked by dad but it was mom who used the dreaded wooden spoon!

[b75]

No not in the least.

[wileynj]

Originally Posted by nicolem

Yes I was spanked by dad but it was mom who used the dreaded wooden spoon!

We use to get the "Spatula" - talk about some funny marks if it was a "slotted Spatula". My favorite..the raised hand and mom shouting "do you want this!" I would always so "no thanks mom, I have two of my own". She would usually start to giggle - saved my "butt" - literally, a few times.

[wileynj]

Originally Posted by Alex07860

I can tell you this, I wasn't an easy child to deal with and by all accounts by all my elders I was hell on wheels, everyone in my family (aunt's, uncles, grandparents) had the right to spank me if they caught me doing something wrong which was often, I can honestly tell you that I was spanked at least twice a week, don't get me wrong, I know I deserved it and I can honestly tell you that if it weren't for all those beatings, I'd probably be either in jail or dead, but also, after each and every spanking my mom (which was the enforcer btw) would sit me down and we would talk about what was it that I did wrong and she always ended it w/ giving me a kiss and telling me she loved me. Not once did I ever think that I was abused or mistreated, as a matter of fact, whenever I knew I was about to do something "wrong" I weighed the consequences "Would this be worth something getting a spank/beating if I get caught?" if the answer was yes, I went ahead and did it. I love my mom to death and we have an amazing great relationship and I thank GOD that she was as tough as she was w/ me.

Isn't this what battered woman always say... "they always tell me they love me after they beat me"

[JERSEY MAN]

I caught many a beating growing up that were well deserved and a couple that probably weren't. It helped me I think to a certain extent to going in the right direction. As for myself and wife we have four children and have never spanked our children. THEY KNOW WHEN I'M PISSED and they did something wrong. I have a son in Princeton, a daughter in TCNJ and we are currently looking at colleges for the 2 others. To each their own, I don't think there's a right or wrong way just your own preferences. I used to like getting a call from at work from a 15 kid that stayed out all night and his mother smacked him. First thing I would do is check for BIG signs of abuse, welts,blood,scars if none were found I would walk over to the refridgerator and make sure food was there. Then I would tell the kid if he called us again because mommy smacked him for staying out all night doing drugs that we would smack him and take him to the youth house.

[Alex07860]

Well, I don't know what those battered women say but when you're 12 or 13 year old and you get a spanking for stealing $20 out of grandma's purse and use it for no good stuff and after the spanking mom ask you nicely "Did you learn your lesson?" and your reply is a defiant "No" or when you're known in school as the "stay away from that kid, alex." or "I don't want to see you hanging around w/ him" from their parents or when your older brother smashes your brand new state of the art latest hand held Donkey Kong video game and you grab a baseball bat and chase after him and he locks himself in our parent's bedroom so I go into his room and take a scissor to all his clothes and I get a beating and my mom tells me she loves me anyhow at the end of the day...then yes, I guess it's a battered child/woman syndrome.

Trust me, you had to be there.

[shannybannany]

I suppose I am the lone dissenter here. For me, spanking is never an option. It basically is telling the child this: If someone is bigger, they can hit you! If you are bigger then someone, you can hit them.

I was not spanked by my father but my mother spanked a lot. She just could't deal with things so it was easier for her to hit. sad!

Shanny