Does spanking children really teach anything to our children in a positive perspective? (daycare, teenager)

[nicolem]

Originally Posted by Alex07860

Well, I don't know what those battered women say but when you're 12 or 13 year old and you get a spanking for stealing $20 out of grandma's purse and use it for no good stuff and after the spanking mom ask you nicely "Did you learn your lesson?" and your reply is a defiant "No" or when you're known in school as the "stay away from that kid, alex." or "I don't want to see you hanging around w/ him" from their parents or when your older brother smashes your brand new state of the art latest hand held Donkey Kong video game and you grab a baseball bat and chase after him and he locks himself in our parent's bedroom so I go into his room and take a scissor to all his clothes and I get a beating and my mom tells me she loves me anyhow at the end of the day...then yes, I guess it's a battered child/woman syndrome.

Trust me, you had to be there.

What a little terror you were, huh?

[JERSEY MAN]

Originally Posted by shannybannany

I suppose I am the lone dissenter here. For me, spanking is never an option. It basically is telling the child this: If someone is bigger, they can hit you! If you are bigger then someone, you can hit them.

I was not spanked by my father but my mother spanked a lot. She just could't deal with things so it was easier for her to hit. sad!

Shanny

I'm with ya girl, go to thread 18.

[Alex07860]

Originally Posted by nicolem

What a little terror you were, huh?

Now that I'm a parent I know I was. But for the most part I'm just a harmelss big teddy bear, I swear.

[ADVentive]

Originally Posted by shannybannany

I suppose I am the lone dissenter here. For me, spanking is never an option. It basically is telling the child this: If someone is bigger, they can hit you! If you are bigger then someone, you can hit them.

I agree with you. I think it teaches that someone bigger can hit someone smaller. Someone was talking to me about spanking and she told me that she spanks her son when he hits the dog, and that this happens several times a week. And she wonders where he gets the idea that it's okay to hit the dog...

And I don't think that it's totally clear-cut the difference between spanking and abuse. Several in this thread have mentioned being hit with objects, such as belts or spoons or spatulas, and I think that is in a whole other class than spanking with your hand. Same with being hit in the face/head.

[skbs]

Originally Posted by wileynj

Isn't this what battered woman always say... "they always tell me they love me after they beat me"

There is a serious difference in being BEATEN and a spank on the fanny...

[NYMD67]

Originally Posted by shannybannany

I suppose I am the lone dissenter here. For me, spanking is never an option. It basically is telling the child this: If someone is bigger, they can hit you! If you are bigger then someone, you can hit them.

I was not spanked by my father but my mother spanked a lot. She just could't deal with things so it was easier for her to hit. sad!

Shanny

I agree.... I was never spanked as a child, was threatned with the wooden spoon a few times, but never spanked. All my dad had to do was raise his voice.

I think that spanking does exactly as the above says-it tells a child that it is okay for "US" as the bigger person to hit, because that is what spanking is-it is hitting.
Don't we teach our children NOT to hit others?
It is confusing to me as an adult, I can't imagine how much more confusing it would be for a toddler who gets spanked by their parent and then turns around and hits another child and is punished for doing so?

[R Fish]

I grew up being spanked when i deserved it, and i did. spanking gives immediate concequences for the children's misbehavior. However i dont approve of using a belt because that can actually hurt someone. i think that it should not be a parents first choice of disipline but sometimes is appropriate when deemed nescessary, and as my grandparents always said 'spare the rod spoil the child' (although a 'rod' should always be spared, a hand works just fine)

[max's mama]

I'm completely 100% against spanking. This topic had been brought up before.

http://www.city-data.com/forum/paren...your-kids.html

[~NeonFire~]

I'm against it as well. Disciplne is definitely important and letting your children walk all over you isn't going to accomplish anything but I think a line has to be drawn somewhere.

[catdeoh]

Originally Posted by shannybannany

I suppose I am the lone dissenter here. For me, spanking is never an option. It basically is telling the child this: If someone is bigger, they can hit you! If you are bigger then someone, you can hit them.

I was not spanked by my father but my mother spanked a lot. She just could't deal with things so it was easier for her to hit. sad!

Shanny

I think that spanking is the easy way out for parents when they do not want to "deal" with the problem at hand. I am very firm and concise with my children when they do something wrong. They are only 3 and 2 right now, but I do not want to spank my children at all. I will find other ways of punishing them, but I really do not see the benefits of hitting someone you love. Parents are supposed to show love to their children and teach them right from wrong. I know I am making the right decision when I see how loving and protective my kids are with each other. I think as long as you are consistent with your punishments children will learn the rules.