Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Yep. The most fanatical anti-spanking loons are the ones who actually don't have kids of their own.
No, actually people who are against child abuse, including spanking which is physical violence towards children, are those people (including millions of parents), who know that children are humans and deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.
No child or adult ever deserves to be hit, spanked, or otherwise assaulted through physical violence by a family member whose job it is to cherish and protect. It is a horrible insult and injury to inflict.
Last edited by Tzaphkiel; 07-09-2008 at 12:35 PM..
the fact this particular topic is so heated and emotional shows the concern each of us has as parents for our kids. The fact that there's so much concern can only bode well for the kids..
Hitting someone does not = love
Hitting someone is NOT a way of expressing concern for them
("i love my wife so much and am so concerned for her well being that i hit her when I get angry or upset")
Hitting someone and saying they deserved it and it is for their own good does NOT bode well for kids
Justifying violent behavior does not show concern for children, it just shows twisted thinking by adults
Hitting someone is an exhibition of rage and violence and anger directed at the smallest and the weakest, who most deserve to be cherished and protected, from the people charged with their care and protection.
The concerned parent is the one who breaks the cycle of violence.
That is how we show concern for our children's well-being.
Last edited by Tzaphkiel; 07-09-2008 at 12:39 PM..
Thank all for writing your honest thoughts on this topic. I think that I have come to the conclusion that I never want to lay a hand on my children. I have in the past swatted my son and daughter once, and I felt like I was really reacting to their behavior rather than handling the situation at hand. My husband and I will do what ever it takes to teach and guide our children, but hitting is NOT one of our choices.
Discipline and punishment are NOT the same thing. I am going to leave this topic now because it has upsetted me so much. At the end of the day, are we thugs?
Isnt there a better way to educate our children than hitting. what happened to talking or age appropriate correction. I personally think it takes to much time in our busy world......
There is no way to educate "our" children because "we" don't have children. What works in your family may not work in mine, and vice versa.
Everyone says "HITTING TEACHES VIOLENCE" but I can say I was spanked, and all of my friends were spanked as children.
None of us are violent.
Show me a legit study that shows that children who are occasionally spanked makes them evil people.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AT3PM
I didn't know how hard this thread was going to be on me until I began to read thread after thread of abuse and abusers. You know there are parents on her comparing there up bring to well they aint going to be no Jeffery dahmer? As i read it i am hurting so bad, you may wonder why? I was abused my hole life. By many, not one, I wasn't singled out. my father didn't love me because i didn't look like him, he told me so, my mom called what he did when he lost control finally a session. oh but it wasn't much , but does it matter oh many times? my mom put my face i **** because i wasn't fast enough to potty train, i was molested by my step grandfather at the age of 5 and it never stopped it just kept going one abusive moment after another until in the end a endurable disease after being a Registered Nurse 10 and i often volunteer my time not get paid if i had a laboring pt and she wanted me to stay after my 12 hour shift and now my family besides my mom disowns me because they don't understand my disease , I hate child abuse so much i cant even watch it on TV and i see all these people writing this stuff about hitting ass ect and i am thinking what the heck is wrong with them they got one chance and there blowing it and me still disabled my hands are numb i am not getting paid to help trying to get it thru there minds there recking there kids trust and traumatizing them for live how do i know your talking to one..... you know how hard it is to read an abuser's logs. hard. but i am growing weak with this one. how can they not see, the little faces of pain. it traumatizes your children believe it It did me i still think about it after 45 years. is that enough example do you all get it .. my gosh slap in the face ya all. love your children talk to them treat them like a human not like a animal. you get what you give. michelle
This is very depressing, but honestly, spanking your children won't result in any of this. Spanking is as related to all of this as listening to heavy metal or playing violent video games is related to shooting up a school full of students.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AT3PM
why would you compare spanking with Jeffrey dahmer not unless you felt there was some sadomasochist behind it?
The person said that because people like you accuse them of raising a murderer or something.
Threatening "I'll spank you if you do this" and rarely spanking seems like the best way to go
Everyone says "HITTING TEACHES VIOLENCE" but I can say I was spanked, and all of my friends were spanked as children.
None of us are violent.
Show me a legit study that shows that children who are occasionally spanked makes them evil people.
This is very depressing, but honestly, spanking your children won't result in any of this. Spanking is as related to all of this as listening to heavy metal or playing violent video games is related to shooting up a school full of students.
The person said that because people like you accuse them of raising a murderer or something.
Threatening "I'll spank you if you do this" and rarely spanking seems like the best way to go
I couldn't agree with you more, especially with saying ''hitting teaches violence''. My daughters got probably one spanking a year from the time they were 2 years old to about age seven. Today, my kids are NOT violent. In fact, I am always pleased to hear that (and see) my daughters being nice to everyone, whether it's at school or at basketball, saying hi to kids that look lonely, picking partners at school with people that they normally don't hang out with etc. This might be from my husband and I being a bit strict with them as younger kids, or it might not be. Or it might be just them. But either way, I can assure you those few spankings that they did get did not teach them to be ''violent''.
Spanking is a humiliation issue, not a pain issue. Spanking to cause pain is always wrong, as is everything else that causes pain. But children respond very quickly to being humiliated, and are unlikely to repeat behavior that causes humiliation.
Having said that, a good parent bears in mind the huge emotional effect of humiliations, and should never humiliate a child unless punishment/correction is appropriate under the circumstance.
In other words, if the child really needs to be corrected, humiliation works extremely well and spanking without intent to harm is highly effective at achieving this. But humiliation should never be used for any other purpose than correction. And correction should never be used unless there is a genuine morality or safety issue involved. Obedience is not a virtue in and of itself, and Disobedience is not a moral issue.
We were spanked when necessary and neither my brothers or myself have issues. The difference is we were not beaten, it was explained to us why we were being spanked and then we were spanked. None of us have anger issues, hit other people, lose our tempers or anything else any "therapist" would like to say is the result of spanking. My husband and I on occasion have spanked our kids, again exactly the same way we were disciplined, but since they are now older it is not necessary and guess what my kids are good students, they respect others, they respect themselves, they are outgoing and noone has anger issues. Oh and to the OP I have spanked all of my kids and we all are really close, they talk to me and their Daddy about anything and everything, that includes all 5 of my kids, the 23, 21, 14, 11 and 8 yr old. So for our family there has been no break in that parent child bond. Oh just wanted to add I am always complimented on my children and how responsible, kind, well behaved they are.
I didn't know how hard this thread was going to be on me until I began to read thread after thread of abuse and abusers. You know there are parents on her comparing there up bring to well they aint going to be no Jeffery dahmer? As i read it i am hurting so bad, you may wonder why? I was abused my hole life. By many, not one, I wasn't singled out. my father didn't love me because i didn't look like him, he told me so, my mom called what he did when he lost control finally a session. oh but it wasn't much , but does it matter oh many times? my mom put my face i **** because i wasn't fast enough to potty train, i was molested by my step grandfather at the age of 5 and it never stopped it just kept going one abusive moment after another until in the end a endurable disease after being a Registered Nurse 10 and i often volunteer my time not get paid if i had a laboring pt and she wanted me to stay after my 12 hour shift and now my family besides my mom disowns me because they don't understand my disease , I hate child abuse so much i cant even watch it on TV and i see all these people writing this stuff about hitting ass ect and i am thinking what the heck is wrong with them they got one chance and there blowing it and me still disabled my hands are numb i am not getting paid to help trying to get it thru there minds there recking there kids trust and traumatizing them for live how do i know your talking to one..... you know how hard it is to read an abuser's logs. hard. but i am growing weak with this one. how can they not see, the little faces of pain. it traumatizes your children believe it It did me i still think about it after 45 years. is that enough example do you all get it .. my gosh slap in the face ya all. love your children talk to them treat them like a human not like a animal. you get what you give. michelle
I am sorry that this happened to you but there is a difference it what you are describing and when a parent spanks a child. You were horribly abused not disciplined or spanked.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
