Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Spanking your kid and beating your wife are two different things, and it disgusts me that some people cannot make the distinction. A wife isn't a child, she is a partner in a relationship. She isn't some undeveloped child incapable of knowing right from wrong; she is an adult. A child, on the other hand, is just that: a child. A child that needs to be disciplined and guided toward the right direction in life.
It is the father's (and mother's) responsibility to raise the [future] wife, not her husband. If you cannot distinguish the difference, then imo, you are seriously lacking in critical thinking skills, and I don't mean it to be an insult.
I was never spanked as a child. I always go lectures or my T.V. got taken out of my room for a days-weeks. Being the human house cat I am, that ment a lot to me.
I'm against spanking for the most part. I don't think spanking a kid in a handful of times permanently harms them, but I don't think it is necessary.
I don't think it offers anything positive though. We certainly can't know the takeaway message that a kid has when he gets spanked.
There are times, beyond a certain age, where spanking just seems creepy.
I've known people that spanked regularly..it wasn't at all a reasoned act, as another poster points out, it was an overreaction. The kids I have seen that were spanked were no better behaved than ones that were not.
I don't think spanking is necessarily wrong, but I plan on trying every other alternative first. Right now, my daughter is 10 months old, and she knows what "no" means without being yelled at or swatted. It's kind of sad though, she usually throws a bit of a temper tantrum...super spoiled child...
It showed our kids that we were in charge, and that when we said we meant business, we meant business.
We did not spank our kids very often, nor did we beat them and call it spanking.
Our sons are in their 20s, and our daughter is nearly there. Recently I asked all of them if they remember me spanking them. All of them do, but all of them remember spankings I don't remember. And frankly, all of them now think the spankings were pretty funny. Apparently they weren't too traumatic.
If your daughter can actually remember the spankings I doubt that her true feelings of being spanked by you was that they were funny.
To the original thread.
Sure, it teaches the same thing it would teach you if your boss hit you when you did something wrong. You would learn to fear him and become incredibly nervous, quiet and more prone to mistakes. The only difference is that you would probably leave that job and the child doesn't usually have that option. Relying on spanking only puts you at a defensive disadvantage. Your child will most definitely not grow up to be a leader and you will just be sad with the results. Other options out there, spanking is a religious ideal anyway. Spoiling your child is done by material things not by limiting a whipping.
Spanking your kid and beating your wife are two different things, and it disgusts me that some people cannot make the distinction. A wife isn't a child, she is a partner in a relationship. She isn't some undeveloped child incapable of knowing right from wrong; she is an adult. A child, on the other hand, is just that: a child. A child that needs to be disciplined and guided toward the right direction in life.
It is the father's (and mother's) responsibility to raise the [future] wife, not her husband. If you cannot distinguish the difference, then imo, you are seriously lacking in critical thinking skills, and I don't mean it to be an insult.
It might be different to you, in your mind. From the outside view it looks the same or worse to over half the population that don't hit their kids or their wife.
Most people are disgusted when they see a kid get a public display of hitting. You might not think they should, or don't care, but the fact is they do.
It is what it is, it's not rocket science. You are using violence to solve a problem. Easy.
To the original thread.
Sure, it teaches the same thing it would teach you if your boss hit you when you did something wrong. You would learn to fear him and become incredibly nervous, quiet and more prone to mistakes. The only difference is that you would probably leave that job and the child doesn't usually have that option. Relying on spanking only puts you at a defensive disadvantage. Your child will most definitely not grow up to be a leader and you will just be sad with the results. Other options out there, spanking is a religious ideal anyway. Spoiling your child is done by material things not by limiting a whipping.
Did you know that not so long ago, it was legal to spank your wife (or in fact to whip your husband, though that was less common).
There was a book published on this cooperative physical discipline in 1936.
In 1795, it was legal to:
beat your servants
beat prison inmates
whip sailors who were in the Navy
Herstory of Domestic Violence: A Timeline of the Battered Women's Movement - MINCAVA Electronic Clearinghouse (http://www.mincava.umn.edu/documents/herstory/herstory.html - broken link)
Quote:
In the 1400s, The Christian church vacillates between support of wife beating and encouraging husbands to be more compassionate and using moderation in their punishments of their wives. A medieval Christian scholar, Friar Cherbubino of Siena, writes Rules of Marriage, in support of wife beating.
In the 1500s, early settlers in America based their laws on old English common-law that explicitly permits wife-beating for correctional purposes. However, the trend in the young states is towards declaring wife-beating illegal. One step towards that end is to allow the husband to whip his wife only with a switch no bigger than his thumb.
In 1871, Alabama was the first state to rescind the legal right of men to beat their wives (Fulgrahm v. State)
IN 1874, The "finger-switch" rule is disavowed when the Supreme Court of North Carolina rules that "the husband has no right to chastise his wife under any circumstances." The court goes on to say, "If no permanent injury has been inflicted, nor malice, cruelty nor dangerous violence shown by the husband, it is better to draw the curtain, shut out the public gaze and leave the parties to forget and forgive."
In 1882, Maryland is the first state to pass a law that makes wife-beating a crime, punishable by 40 lashes, or a year in jail. My comment - I think that is pretty ironic, really.
It wasn't until 1966, that beating, as cruel and inhumane treatment, became grounds for divorce in New York, but the plaintiff must establish that a "sufficient" number of beatings have taken place
In 1976, an old town ordinance was still on the books in Pennsylvania stating that no husband shall beat his wife after ten o'clock at night or on Sundays.
In 1795, it was legal to:
beat your servants
beat prison inmates
whip sailors who were in the Navy
Herstory of Domestic Violence: A Timeline of the Battered Women's Movement - MINCAVA Electronic Clearinghouse (http://www.mincava.umn.edu/documents/herstory/herstory.html - broken link)
Actually I did. No longer than a 12 inch ruler was considered abuse. As long as what you hit her with was no longer than 12 inches it was just fine and dandy. So glad we've evolved from that and slavery too. Dang, and people want to go back to the "good ole' days." I don't think they realize what that means unless they are a white guy I guess. lol
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
