Overweight child...advice please (children, health, Missouri)

[mlammons]

Does anyone have any suggestions for children's books that I can read with my son regarding health and nutrition?

[kimba01]

Originally Posted by mlammons

Yes, I think he might. He grew up in an inactive overweight family. He is also the king of denial.

If so, then for your son's health, it might be best to spend less meal times with dad. Unfortunately it might get to the point where you have to tell DS that daddy isn't doing what is best for him and he should do something different. Suppose dad didn't require him to wear a seatbelt in the car. You would have to tell DS that dad was wrong, that to be safe he needed to wear it even in dads car and even if dad said it wasn't necessary. That seems reasonable. Use that analogy and take it to eating habits. To be healthy he has to eat healthy even at dad's house, even if dad still wants to eat pizza and cheetos. If that really isn't going to work then he needs to spend less meal times with dad, just like he wouldn't be riding in the car with dad. Perhaps knowing that the choice is between supporting the meal plan or spending less time with DS, your ex would develop some concern as well. Really, what choice do you have?

Changing visitation would require going to court (which takes money, something I don't have a whole lot of right now). Even if I did go to court, there is no guarantee the judge would agree with me and change visitation.

This is one of the things making the situation so difficult to handle. His father is not on this bandwagon.[/quote]


I am not so sure going to court would help. There are many parents who go to court for things such as drug abuse, alcohol abuse, and other harmful behaviors and STILL have a hard time changing visitation.

I still believe awareness, research and action is key. Seems like you are going in the right direction. I give you kudos for that.

[crazyme4878]

Originally Posted by tamitrail

My kids don't eat anything that vegetables can be "snuck" into. They don't eat lasagna...they won't even eat a tomato sauce if it has any kind of seasoning in it (basil, oregano, etc.). It takes my son literally an hour to eat 1/4 cup of corn....and honestly, he's not getting much from corn anyway.

We had troubles with the time issue at the table, too, until we started using a kitchen timer. My son now has 20 minutes to eat. If he doesn't finish his meal in that time, he goes to his room for a 5 minute time out. After that, he has 10 more minutes to finish. If he doesn't finish it then, there is no bedtime snack (or anything else to eat the rest of the night).

From the first moment it worked! He has only had to have a time-out once, and that was because he was talking too much during dinner and not eating. We are a little lienent, as well. If he has sped up toward the end and now has one or two more bites, we let him go without a time-out, explaining it is because he was doing really well (of course, if he didn't immediately take those last bites, he would go in, but it has never been an issue).

[crazyme4878]

Originally Posted by mlammons

Does anyone have any suggestions for children's books that I can read with my son regarding health and nutrition?

My son (5) loves the Magic School House books. I know there is one on digestion, there might be one on nutrition. I would still see if the library has the one on digestion, it might help illustrate to him how our body uses the food. I will look at our shelf later to see if I have any good titles to pass on. If you haven't already, ask at your library, too. There are actually alot of books that have healthy eating as the theme. The Bernstein Bears have one called "Junk Food" or "Too Much Junk Food." In that one, Brother, Sister and Papa Bear are eating too much junk food and Mama Bear puts her foot down. Papa Bear agrees, but is the last one to "convert." In the end, they all learn to only have junk food once in awhile.

I wouldn't choose any that focus too heavily on the subject, instead choose ones that have strong characters and a good storyline. Its amazing how quickly kids pick up on that they are being lectured too!

[drjones96]

So my wife says to me the other day, "all they (the kids) eat is junk all the time". So I say,"Why then do you buy the junk in the first place?" I can always tell when my 4 year old daughter hasn't been eating right. Her pants stop fitting.

OK...that's my problem.

Your problem is your ex. He's not a healthy role model for your son. He eats whatever he wants....and therefore your son eats whatever HE wants every other day. The habbit of overeating/eating unhealthily 3 days a week overpowers good eating habbits the other 4 days a week. And he will then want to eat only junk or overeat even when he's with you.

Junk food feels good to eat...but it isn't good for you. Being 5 he doesn't get it and will not get it because he doesn't want it to be true. Show him all the DVDs and books you want; It's not going to sink in. He's and addict. Try telling a junkie he should stop using drugs because of his health.

I suppose you could only have salad available for him to eat in your house (effectively starve him) but why should he be miserable when he's with you and have all the fun when he's with his father? I enjoy a good salad but if I had to eat health food every meal somewhere I'd eventually have a breakdown.

So I think you need to have a serious discussion with your ex. I think you should pull no punches. Call the guy a fat bastard and that you do not want your son to be an overweight slob like him. Tell him he needs to be a better role model in terms of health for his son or you'll haul his butt to court (bluff him).

[VegasGrace]

Get rid of the husband!

[drjones96]

Originally Posted by VegasGrace

Get rid of the husband!

She did but he's still the ex husband.

I suppose she could hire a hit man but that may be a little extreme.

[mom2justynsarah]

What about getting him into extracurriculum activities? My son had a bit of a weight problem himself. We got him into cubscouts, (lots and lots of activity) and take him swimming a lot (we have a community pool). He also enjoys bike riding, playing basketball with his friends (we have a hoop), and one of his friends has a large trampoline (which they all could jump for hours!). He has lost weight due to the increase in his activities as well as a healthier diet.

[crazyme4878]

Originally Posted by VegasGrace

Get rid of the husband!

Originally Posted by drjones96

She did but he's still the ex husband.

I suppose she could hire a hit man but that may be a little extreme.

Or she could try to find him a new wife that is a health nut .

mom2justynsarah has a great idea, especially if there is an activity that his father can participate in a lot, as well. Around 6, boys start to really look to their fathers to see how to "be a boy." If your ex is against most things you suggest, perhaps you could find a sneaky way to suggest it to him (having a friend mention it or something). That might solve your problems overall...

[tamitrail]

Originally Posted by mom2justynsarah

What about getting him into extracurriculum activities? My son had a bit of a weight problem himself. We got him into cubscouts, (lots and lots of activity) and take him swimming a lot (we have a community pool). He also enjoys bike riding, playing basketball with his friends (we have a hoop), and one of his friends has a large trampoline (which they all could jump for hours!). He has lost weight due to the increase in his activities as well as a healthier diet.

She already said her son is active when he's with her.