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Old 07-18-2008, 05:22 PM
 
371 posts, read 799,728 times
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I also LOVE cosleeping!! My daughter was in a toddler bed around 20 mos old when my newborn son arrived. Just now at 2y she started wandering to our room at night. Must be common at that age-- maybe they're starting to feel afraid of things more? Some nights I walk her back to her bed and then some nights I pull her on in my bed. I know people tell nightmares of kids that never get out of their parents beds, but after seeing our friends kids leaving w/out issue, and then my own 2 kids happily out of our bed by 6 mos., I say sleeping together is fine. I also treasure cuddling w/them at night knowing it won't always be like this! If it is normal for them at around 2y to wake up at night, I imagine it is something that will pass, too...
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Old 07-18-2008, 06:03 PM
 
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I read somewhere that most kids will naturally start wanting their own space around 6 years of age, so that getting kids out of the parents' bed usually corrects itself. Of course, what is right for one family, isn't right for another.

By the way, I tried "crying it out" with my 2nd born. Boy, did that not work! He can scream in his sleep--I kid you not! Anyhow, I felt horrible, didn't get any sleep, and it obviously was not going to work!
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Old 12-08-2008, 08:17 AM
 
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can anyone advise me on what i can do , i use to be able to say to my daughter ready for bed and she would get her teddy and come to me and go to bed with no problems , and that went on for months, she was in her crib at that time. I now put her over to her own bed and about sept -08 and she seemed to be ok for a few weeks, then she would wake up crying so i then put in a night light for her. that seemed to work for about a week or two. Now if i put her to bed ,she is ok until i leave the room , when i leave she begins to cry in hysterics, i would wait to see if she would calm down and she never does, i would go up and tell her everything is fine mommy is here and not going anywhere, and that she is always safe. still does not work. she would pull me to lay down with her,and i cannot always lay with her as i have a 9mth old too that i have to care for. So i get to the point that she falls asleep on the counch and then i move her to her bed and then in the middle of the night she wakes crying and i cannot get her to settle unless i lay with her or move her to the couch. What i am trying to avoid is her waking up her brother,cause i really do not need both of them up at 3 am in the morning , but it is never the same time everynight , it varies.
i do not want to bring her to my bed cause i feel it is not fair to start something that is only going to lead to telling them it is bad down the road. I am loosing my mind into as why and how to fix the problem. no matter if i cut out her nap during the day , and even when she bathes it still happens as that is one thing i thought would relax her for the whole night , but NOPE . I do not know what else to do she is 27mths . if any help on this please let me know , and now that i am getting sick it is waking up worse cause i am not getting the sleep i need to get better. thanks
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Old 12-08-2008, 11:13 AM
 
4,267 posts, read 3,091,946 times
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I also co-sleep with my daughter. She is 2.5 and does seem to have a lot of new fears, she's afraid of the dark for the first time and also talks about monsters. When she wakes up in the middle of the night I just lay a hand on her back and tell her it's OK and to go back to sleep and she does. I know that she'll sleep on her own when she is ready so I'm not worried about having her in my bed at all. Maybe you could try putting a mattress on the floor next to your bed so that she is used to sleeping by herself but when she wakes up you will be right there to comfort her back to sleep. I've found that the quicker that I can get to her to provide comfort, the quicker she will fall back asleep. Sleep is so important. It's so hard when you're not getting enough and for me it's worth it to have dd in my room with me because we both get enough that way. I know that she'll move to her own room when she's ready. I don't see any drawbacks to having her in my room so it's not a problem for me. Good luck, hope you get some good sleep soon.
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Old 12-08-2008, 12:28 PM
 
3,842 posts, read 6,858,749 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by barracuda69 View Post
i do not want to bring her to my bed cause i feel it is not fair to start something that is only going to lead to telling them it is bad down the road. I am loosing my mind into as why and how to fix the problem. no matter if i cut out her nap during the day , and even when she bathes it still happens as that is one thing i thought would relax her for the whole night , but NOPE . I do not know what else to do she is 27mths . if any help on this please let me know , and now that i am getting sick it is waking up worse cause i am not getting the sleep i need to get better. thanks
Consistency. You set the course. And sometimes it does take many different ways & methods. At the same time, the more "choices" you give your child the more confused they are going to become. Double edge sword so you need to become firm on this with your daughter.

I had a newborn & a 24 month old... I KNOW EXACTLY how tough that routine at night came become when one or the other wakes one another up.

We followed a routine from day #1 with our firstborn which stayed the same when #2 was born. Very simple: bath, book, bed. No playing or snacks o getting all excited. Bed time is bed time in our home as well as naptime. Plain & simple. The rest of the day can be play & fun

When our son did and still gets scared at night or wakes up & for some reason struggles with falling back to sleep, I or my dh just goes in & figures out as quickly & quietly as possible. My dh works some very long hours, so I am the one who is up at night 99% of the time.

We also know our sons & sometimes one or the other will wake up & lightly cry for a few minutes & go right back to sleep without us even having to go in. Other nights we know the cry & go in & comfort them; change a diaper, etc.

Cosleeping is not bad but I've only personally known people who have struggled with their children sleeping in their own beds once it has been started. I believe cosleeping is not something to be taken lightly & if one is going to go this route, they know exactly how it is going to be used in their home in order to keep issues from occurring later down the road.

Things take on a whole new element when you have more than one child, especially when they are close in age at this stage.

Get a routine that works for you. Stick with it. Be firm & consistent. Make sure your daughter understands that at bedtime she goes to sleep & that she is safe & loved. When she does wake up, go in & comfort her but don't start up a detailed conversation. And the second your #1 child wakes up, monitor it prior to going in. Children wake up many time throughout the night & not every single time do they require help to get back to sleep.

Most importantly, use your intuition!! You know your children & when they need you. Good luck.
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Old 12-08-2008, 12:46 PM
 
Location: Derby, KS
3,832 posts, read 8,040,747 times
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I may be more of a fan of cosleeping if I had a king sized bed and kids that didn't kick and flail their arms, legs, and heads around (been head butted a few times as well as kicked in the groin). So for my personal sanity and well-being of our marraige there is no cosleeping going on at my house unless the kids decide they want to sleep together.

With that said my son (2 yrs, 4mo) will typically wake up at least once a night. We'll usually go in there and comfort him for a minute or so until he calms down. Maybe give him a drink if he wants one. And sometimes he is scared and doesn't know what's going on...or maybe had a bad dream. So if he doesn't calm down right away I'll walk him through the house and show him that everyone is sleeping and it's ok for him to sleep as well. Sometimes he thinks it's funny watching other people sleep for some reason. So I'll let him have a giggle for a minute before I put him back in his bed.
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Old 12-08-2008, 03:03 PM
 
7,729 posts, read 9,597,335 times
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I think you have to do whatever is right for you. If you don't want a co-sleeper, don't start bringing your daughter into bed. Go in, comfort her for a second and leave. Keep repeating this until she falls asleep. If you keep putting her into bed with you, she will start expecting it!
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Old 12-08-2008, 04:46 PM
 
Location: Grosse Ile Michigan and Sometimes Orange County CA
15,819 posts, read 32,514,652 times
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When we had this problem our pediatrician's advice to my wife was "Children cry Mrs. Jensen - get over it." that worked.
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Old 12-09-2008, 12:39 PM
 
Location: Mebane
2,495 posts, read 4,009,309 times
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I wanted to add that there is another option for co-sleeping with a toddler that age that may seem more agreeable to you. That is that you could sleep in her bed with her instead of her sleeping in your bed with you. That way she is used to sleeping in her bed in her room, and you can sneak out when you feel like it and go back to your own bed.

This is what we do in our house right now with my 2.5 year old. She sleeps only in her bed. Some nights I'm in there with her for 5 minutes, other nights I stay half the night, depending on how tired I am (when I'm more tired, I end up just staying in her bed b/c it's easier than moving!). Occasionally, she actually sleeps through the whole night, but usually she wakes up around 2am and needs to use the potty, so I go and help her and then lay down with her for as long as I decide. And sometimes she wakes up multiple times and I'm back and forth all night. Also, sometimes my husband goes in and lays with her instead of me, and I predict that he will be doing this more often as my pregnancy progresses and after the new baby comes. I predict that then he'll mostly take care of the toddler at night and I'll take the baby.
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Old 12-09-2008, 10:18 PM
 
Location: Central Kentucky
850 posts, read 2,117,606 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ADVentive View Post

My daughter is 26 months. At 2 years we started moving her into a twin bed in her own room. She now sleeps in her bed all night, but she usually wakes at about 2 or 3am and calls for me, and I go in and sleep the rest of the night in her bed with her. She likes to be cuddled in the night, and I understand that, because I do too!
I respect your choice, although it is not for me. I do have a question - for all of you co-sleepers, actually - what about the relationship between you and your spouse? What about time for yourself to breathe amd get a restlful sleep?

Just curious. You guys absolutely have greater intestinal fortitude that I do to follow your sleep pattern, I am just curious about your relationships. I assume spouse are onboard?

Kimmiey
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