2 year old waking up every night crying (milk, infant, toddler)

[kelly237]

Originally Posted by ADVentive

I wanted to add that there is another option for co-sleeping with a toddler that age that may seem more agreeable to you. That is that you could sleep in her bed with her instead of her sleeping in your bed with you. That way she is used to sleeping in her bed in her room, and you can sneak out when you feel like it and go back to your own bed.

This is what we do in our house right now with my 2.5 year old. She sleeps only in her bed. Some nights I'm in there with her for 5 minutes, other nights I stay half the night, depending on how tired I am (when I'm more tired, I end up just staying in her bed b/c it's easier than moving!). Occasionally, she actually sleeps through the whole night, but usually she wakes up around 2am and needs to use the potty, so I go and help her and then lay down with her for as long as I decide. And sometimes she wakes up multiple times and I'm back and forth all night. Also, sometimes my husband goes in and lays with her instead of me, and I predict that he will be doing this more often as my pregnancy progresses and after the new baby comes. I predict that then he'll mostly take care of the toddler at night and I'll take the baby.

It seems like a it would be hard to get a good nights sleep that way.
If a child knows how to get themself back to sleep it saves alot of
sleep interuptions for the parents.
When you have a new baby and you are up to feed the newborn and up
often when the 2 year wakes you may be more sleep deprived than
need be.

[ADVentive]

Originally Posted by kelly237

It seems like a it would be hard to get a good nights sleep that way.
If a child knows how to get themself back to sleep it saves alot of
sleep interuptions for the parents.
When you have a new baby and you are up to feed the newborn and up
often when the 2 year wakes you may be more sleep deprived than
need be.

I won't be up to feed the newborn b/c we will breastfeed and co-sleep for a good while. I will probably get more sleep with the newborn than with the toddler right now because I won't have the same kind of up and down with the newborn. That is the great advantage to co-sleeping with a baby! And my husband will have to step it up with our toddler after the new baby comes too, so I won't be getting up with the toddler either. I'll sleep very well for the first 2 years because of nursing and co-sleeping!

I hear so many people who are stressed out because at X months old their child is still night-waking, and that is just not a stress for me in my situation. I am pretty confident that by the time my toddler is 3 and my new baby comes, my toddler won't be waking more than once at night (that's how often she typically wakes now anyway). And she usually wakes because she is wet/needs to use the potty, and I really can't blame her for that (it's not like I don't get up to use the potty in the night too!). As she gets bigger, she'll be able to take care of her potty needs by herself, but I don't expect that of her at this point any more than I expected her as a baby to sleep through the night without nursing. I expect that she still needs me (or DH) for these things, whether it's light or dark outside, and I don't begrudge her this. Soon enough the time will come when she will do it on her own.

If I just slept with the toddler all night, then I might get more sleep now too, but we are encouraging her to sleep alone more now, so that does mean some back and forth for me right now during this process. Some people prefer to do a lot of back and forth with an infant to keep them in their cribs, but I prefer it with a toddler. The toddler can talk to me and tell me if she really needs something (like a new diaper or to use the potty or a drink or a blanket) and I can talk to her and tell her I'll be right back or whatever. She doesn't cry for me when she wakes now, she just calls to me. It's really much preferable to me this way. Of course when the child knows how to do for herself and put herself back to sleep it will mean less night-waking for the parents too - I think the question is really what are you willing (or not willing) to do to get to that point. I am not willing to let my child CIO, so this is what I do. I wait until she is emotionally mature enough to do it on her own without tears and fear. That's my choice, and I realize that right now it means I have interrupted sleep. I also know it won't last forever, so I can deal with it for now. I feel that in the end though, this way is easier on both of us, so that's what works for our family.

[ADVentive]

Originally Posted by kimmieyky

I respect your choice, although it is not for me. I do have a question - for all of you co-sleepers, actually - what about the relationship between you and your spouse? What about time for yourself to breathe amd get a restlful sleep?

Just curious. You guys absolutely have greater intestinal fortitude that I do to follow your sleep pattern, I am just curious about your relationships. I assume spouse are onboard?

Kimmiey

I think that is going to vary between different types of co-sleepers. Some sleep with their child all night in a "family bed" and they would have to have a different response than me. In my case, my child has always started out in her own sleep-space while I started out in my bed with DH. Later in the night, after the child woke up, I would then move into another bed with the child. My DH is not comfortable co-sleeping, so that's why I move to a different bed to co-sleep with my child later in the night. (DH says he has a hard enough time sleeping when I'm in the bed with him - he just doesn't sleep well with yet another body moving around) So I always go to bed with DH and start the night with him, even if I don't finish the night with him. For us, that part of the night together when we go to bed is more valuable to us as a couple than that later part when we are simply sleeping. So it works out for everyone this way.

[JC JC Mom]

My son woke up every single night for the first two years of his life - No Kidding evey single night - I would feed, change and/or sooth him and put him to sleep then back to his crib... it was very difficult - but once he turned two he was sleeping in his own bed (twin size) and now he goes to sleep all by himself... I tell him its time to go to sleep tuck him into bed close the door and by the tiime I do my rounds of checking on the kids is sleeping peacefullly.... Now i just wish he would sleep past 7:00 a.m. :-) --- I say all of this to say that your child will grow out of it and one day you will have a peaceful nights rest... :-)

[denverian]

Originally Posted by JC JC Mom

My son woke up every single night for the first two years of his life - No Kidding evey single night - I would feed, change and/or sooth him and put him to sleep then back to his crib... it was very difficult - but once he turned two he was sleeping in his own bed (twin size) and now he goes to sleep all by himself... I tell him its time to go to sleep tuck him into bed close the door and by the tiime I do my rounds of checking on the kids is sleeping peacefullly.... Now i just wish he would sleep past 7:00 a.m. :-) --- I say all of this to say that your child will grow out of it and one day you will have a peaceful nights rest... :-)

Oh, don't tell me that! We have 7 mo. old twins. One has slept through the night since 3 months, the other one, never! His latest thing is that he won't go back to sleep, so one of us can be up well over an hour in the middle of the night. Last night he only drank one ounce, so obviously he isn't needing the food at night. He was just up and active, wantint to smile and play. I finally put him in the pack and play downstairs and let him cry, and he fell asleep after about 10 min. Then I woke up twice wondering if he was ok down there, or cold. I realized it was over a heat vent so he was sleeping on a warm spot. Maybe the cold is waking him? We'll try turning the heat up tonight to test that theory.

[121804]

Originally Posted by denverian

Maybe the cold is waking him? We'll try turning the heat up tonight to test that theory.

Was having issues with my now 11 month old starting to wake up quite frequently about a month agon when it started to get very cold. We moved into our home last Nov. His room had always been quite colder than any of the other rooms but didn't seem to effect him when he was a newborn.

Now this winter rolls on in pretty fast & furious. I am at my wits end b/c he was sleeping great & then all of a sudden up 3-4 times throughout the night. I would go in & rock him b/c it was not one of those "i'm just cranky & just want to fuss a little crys"...and I told my husband that his room was way too cold. I could feel "some" heat but nothing compared to the rest of the home.

Last week I had a cold & just told my dh @ 3am that we were calling an HVAC guy in the morning to check out his room b/c it was stupid cold & I was thinking that was keeping him up or even waking him up.

My dh goes down into the basement, checks the heat vents, comes up laughing..."Yeah, uh, the vent to his room was shut off..."

Why it took us 12 months to figure this out...I have no clue...

But, since last week, he's been sleeping completely through the night in a warm room

[kelly237]

I am all for whatever works!!

My first baby I always rocked til he was out cold then slipped him into the crib and repeated if he woke up.
On my second someone told me if rocked him
til drowsy and placed him in the crib he would learn to get himself to sleep and would also do the same thing during the night when he woke.
Worked like a charm. Of course I knew the "something is wrong cry" which
should always be attended to.

[remee]

We are co-sleepers here too.. I just can't do CIO.
I do tend to transition my kids out of my bed after they turn two. (child #4 is transitioning now) I don't have a set age for transitioning, it just seems to happen naturally. I set up their own lower bed that is next to mine.
It helps for those nights when my child wakes up and wants mommy. He can see me there and still be relaxed. Some nights he'll still want in next to me and I'll let him until he falls right back to sleep. Then I can easily switch him over easily. I also find that my kids fell asleep much more easily feeling comforted from being in mommy and daddy's room.
With my little guy now, I let him fall asleep in my bed and then just move him on over when its our bed time.


kimmieyky~ For my relationship, yes my spouse is on board. If I'm going to be the one getting up at night to take care of a baby then I'm going to figure out what is best for me and that baby. Co-sleeping helped me to get the best rest actually.
Luckily my spouse sees that and knows that if I can find the best way, then we'll all be happy.lol

[kimmieyky]

My DBB is now 9 months old, and has started a new pattern - just since the begining of this thread. Yipee!!

Used to be - bath, bottle, bed, maybe waking once or twice (he aways had a hard time burping), then to sleep for the rest of the night. Not any more. He is off formula now, so it's 4th meal (cereal) at 8-8:30, bath, bottle, then bed. BUT - bed has become a no go. He finishes his bottle and starts puilling my hair and crawling all over me. I know he's full, comfy (blanket jammies - his room is somehwat cold, too), and he has burped and diapey clean. He just refuses to calm down.

The problem? DH started picking him up after his first 'I need to fuss cry', taking him into our bed, and putting him to sleep.

I have tried to explain to him - the baby now knows the rules have changed. All he has to do is fuss and daddy will pick him up, then he can play a few more minutes and finally go to sleep. It's as though now he KNOWS he does not have to fall asleep with mommy and bottle, because daddy will soon be to the rescue! I told DH night before last - after the bottle and my first laying him down (which is now while wide awake) - he's all his! He started this and he's going to fix it.

Last night I got lucky, and the little DBB fell asleep after an hour of taking his bottle. I put him down, but he was up at 5:30 this morning. Just finished a bottle - well, a partial, he wasn't hungry, spent more time pulling hair and wallowing on me. The second he was still, I put him back in the crib and walked out. He began to cry (lucky for me DH cannot function at this time of day), and I let him. It only took a few minutes and he was out.

This child has never been allowed to really fuss and find his own way to sleep. While this is my third, it's dh's first, and grandmaw lives with us. I am so sick of hearing 'go pick him up and walk him!' - and I reply with a firm NO. Dh couldn't take it when dbb was smaller, so he would pick him up. A little monster has been created! I can hear my grandfather's voice from my first - "Kim, let that baby cry." Even as a grown woman with a child, I 'minded' him, and thank heavens I did. It took only a few nights, and all was right with the world. But.....

After much talking and arguing, the conclusion is this - pick him up only if the cry is more than 'fussy, just want to gripe', and if picked up, go no further than the regular bed in dbb's room. Our rooms are on the second floor and all connected - like a suite - so we are not very far apart. Plus, we have the monitor - not like I cannot hear him anyway. Dh has finally agreed, and like I said, last night was different, so we have not tried this yet.

The worst part? Napping during the day! He used to sleep at least two good naps, now I'm lucky if he will sleep once for more than an hour. I believe by bedtime the child is so exhausted he simply cannot unwind. But the naps have been an issue too, as DH was home alot when dbb was small, and he refused to let him fuss. 'Broke his heart', he said. Now the baby and I are paying the price.

Yesterday I picked up my reliable Catnip to make tea with. Today we start with that again (worked great with my older two and when dbb was very small), and hopefully he will relax. It's great for colic and tummy trouble, but it works excellent as a calming tea. Only once a day does the trick - and I pray it works with him again. If not, I am out of answers, except to wait til he is 2 and fight it out. I have never had a child with no ability to settle down. He's like a clock wound too tight - tick, tick, tick - and mommy is loosing it while daddy goes to work, plays fireman and watches tv while I pace the floor.

As for co-sleeping - he was in one of those little baskets between us until he was 2 months old, then moved to the cradle, then his crib in his room. I have no idea what I would do if he were in bed with us at this point. Probably have a stroke from no sleep, as laying beside mommy means play to him - not comfort and rest.

Anyway - he's still sleep - it's been almost 20 minutes - I think I have this licked til at least 8 am - usually lasts that long if he wakes this early.

Gotta love 'em, but boy do I miss my solid sleep!

I have to tell you this, and I am hoping I am not the only one - I have fallen asleep on the potty and sitting straight up in bed - as I have been awakened by the child in my brain - thought I heard him but did not. I haven't had ANY downtime in 9 months. Say a prayer, ya'll!

p.s. Kelly - drowsy , but not asleep, then let him get himself to sleep? I am willing to try that one - is the room dark, night light - anything special? How long does it usually take yours to settle down? How old was he when you started this?

[*Danielle*]

My youngest did this...I would go in and soother her...lay her down, pat her back etc etc...and she would calm down and fall back asleep...sometimes this would happen several times a night...so I would do the same thing over and over...it was a phase and it ended as they all do.

By the way,,,I have just started getting decent sleep again...My youngest is almost 3...so it took us a good 2.5 years to get to this point. And she still wakes occasionally. It is what it is...it will be over soon and I probably will be sad about that. I kind of like our middle of the night 'rendezvous'...