adult kids in house (parents, appropriate, son, married)

[tiaam]

I wanted opinions from people with adult kids living with them.
Would you allow them to have their girlfriend or boyfriend stay overnight in their bedroom together?

[mrstewart]

I do not have an adult child, per se, living with me but my younger brother stays with me when he is in town and I do not let him sleep in the same room as his girlfriend, now fiance. My children do not need to see this.

[Dariusz]

I don't have adult kids, I'm only 23 but I'll give my opinion anyways.

To me it would depend on how responsible the kid is and how far away his girlfriend lives that he can't drive her home at night, if its 30 miles or more and they are responsible, I don't see a problem. But honestly if he is an adult (20 or older) he should be living in his own place by now unless he has a good reason to be staying around. If I lived at home with my parents and had a girlfriend I would not have her stay over if she lived close enough for me to drive her home in a few minutes unless if we were doing something early in the morning, such as traveling and yes I'd sleep on the couch.

[colleeng47]

No I wouldn't permit it. Even if they were living together, in my house they would sleep separately. If they want to sleep in the same bed in my house, I want to see a wedding ring. Sorry, I'm old fashioned.

[truckzter]

I wouldn't permit it (I'm 28), and my parents would not permit it. The gf/bf could stay on the couch, I might think. But the same room? No.

[TouchOfWhimsy]

I don't have adult children, but no, if they're not married, they're not sleeping together in the same bed if I'm home! One in the spare room would be fine, though.

[Rathagos]

Because of the age of my kids, right now I'd have to say "no." I have a 22 year old, and if he was still in his room, I wouldn't allow it. The reason is because I still have a 16, 15, and 11 year old. I don't want them to be influenced by adult decisions (read: premarital relationships). That's a decision they will have to make without influence when they are old enough.

If my adult son or daughter didn't live with me, but had a steady boyfriend/girlfriend (more than 1 week!!), and came to visit, I would consider. But again, not with the younger ones around.

If you're over 21 and still living with me anyway, you need to spend more time getting an education and working than with a boyfriend/girlfriend!! Focus on getting your life together (and your own place).

[sweetana3]

It ONLY matters what you want. It is your house, your furniture, you dime. Your opinion is the only one that counts in this situation. Now if it is a problem between what you and your spouse want, that issue is between the two of you.

Your son/daughter should take their parents wishes into context. There is no reason their sig. other has to spend the night for any reason.

If they want total freedom, let them get their own apartment.

Just my 2cents.

[jeannie216]

At what age are we talking? College age or older? I just had this issue about a month or so ago. I have a 22 year old, 21 year old in August, 11 year old, and 9 year old. My 20 year old ran that same question by me and I said no way for many reasons. First of all my husband and I feel its inappropriate in the first place, but to add to it as Rathagos pointed out, we have younger children and this is not something we want them to believe is okay. Another factor to consider is how old is the girlfirend? My son's girlfriend (by the way they've split up since) was 19 I believe, still in college, and if that was my daughter I would surely want to know about it beforehand. So, thats what I ran by my son at the time. If I called Kaitlyn's parents and asked them about this, what do you think they would say? That ended that conversation.

[crazyme4878]

I would say no--it would add a little need for them to move out onto their own. Besides, they could stay at the girlfriend/boyfriend's place if they really wanted to. I would be okay with an adult child telling me they wouldn't be in that night. But I agree with the poster that mentioned visiting. If my sons were living with their SO and visiting, then I would.