big family vs small family (husband, friends, sister, kids)
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My husband and I have one child. We like it that way and our son says he is glad he is an only child. lol.[/quote] Glad to hear that. I have an only child and people sometimes give me the look of pity over it! But I think it's great![/quote]
Ya, we get that too. I feel for people that don't have children at all. I can only imagine the looks they get because apparently one isn't enough and zero is a travesty! We are a very close family. The only time my son made a comment about not liking being an only child is when he was in first grade. He asked for an older brother. LOL! The only thing that makes me feel bad is he will have to deal with my husband and I when we are older. A sibling that shares in that burden would be helpful but then again, it really just depends. I have a friend that has one sibling that she never talks to, so there really is no perfect number as there are no guarantees that anything will play out the way we hope or think it will.
We have 2 both adopted. I think if we had a little more money and easy pregnancies I would have liked to have had more. My kids are in a Catholic school where there are a lot of larger families, I like that the kids often grow up with less of a "all about me" attitude. Not that you can't accomplish that in a smaller family but its pretty close to impossible to raise super entitled kids if you have 5 of them
I do have an old half brother. But I didn't grow up with him nor am I that close to him. So, I'm pretty much an only child.
Judging from the large families I know of, they all seem pretty happy and close to another. It's nice that they have all of that family with their love and support to rely on one another. Out of all of my friends, I'm the only one who's an only child. All of my friends are close to their siblings. Sure, they get on each other's nerves and argue at times. But they love each other and you can tell they do. When I was growing up, I always wished I had that.
It gets kind of lonely with it just being my mother and I... my uncle (her brother) and my mother don't necessarily get along that well, plus he lives away. And my Grandparents have both passed away. So, it used to be all of us together for the holidays and now as I said, it's mostly just with my mother and I.
For my dad's side of the family, we are close, but most of them live away and when the holidays come around, my remaining family here travel away to see the family. But I stay here since my dad stays here. Other than that, my dad is close to my aunt and uncle (his sister and brother).
My Nana has 6 sisters and they're all very close. They talk on the phone, text one another and Skye on an almost daily basis.
Sometimes, it does feel someone is missing. Like I should have a little brother or a little sister around here somewhere...
There have been times when I was mad at my parents for not having another child. However, my mom did want to have another baby a few years after me but with the way my dad was, she couldn't. Plus, he apparently had a procedure done so he couldn't have any more children and my mother didn't know about it. My mother struggled financially and she would have been even worse off financially if she had another child. But I do feel bad that my Grandparents didn't get all the grand kids they hoped for. I saw a letter my Grandma had written back in the 1980s talking about how she can't wait to have a lot of grand-kids. They did get me, but I was their only one.
That's why I want to have at least 2 children because I want my kids to have siblings. Ideally I want 4 kids though (2 boys and 2 girls).
I oringially wanted a small family, probably only one child. I came from a family with four kids and I was always jealous of only childs. We did not get along when we lived at home and often beat each other bloody. Now we are all pretty close. Althogh not best friends all the time, we look out for each other. Still I thought one child would be ideal.
We had twins first off. We did nto feel complete (or maybe birth control does nto always work) anyway we ended up with five kids. We love it. Everywhere we go, we have fun we have a built in circle of friends. We never need be concerned about Mom & Dad going off to do adult things and leaving Jr. alone and miserable (with a sitter of course). The older kids helped look after the younger so it was not super hard. Lots of people gave us stuff and things can be passed down so it was not super expensive - until now. Sports, college, instruments, music (and other) lessons, hobbies, cars, EEEK! They say it costs something like $200,000 to raise a child. I think it is $12,000 through age 14 and then $188,000 from 14-21.
A big family is wonderful, just make sure that you are prepared ofr ht enecessary financial and personal sacrifices.
Funny now, I once thoguht that only children were better off, now I feel sorry for them.
One thing that is funny; We have 5 kids, our close friends have 6 and another close frined has 4. When we go otu to eat together, we somteimes get left sitting in the lobby and ignored. "How many for dinner tonight?" "twenty one" (Big smile - eyes widening). "And how many are children?" "Fifteen" (big frown look of dismay) "Wait here please" (vanishes into the sunset never to be seen again). Sometimes they even ask us to leave. They make up some BS reason. The real reason - kids are messy, do not order much and usually off the discounted kids menu, make noise, annoy other patrons, stay a long time. . . . it is just a bad financial deal for the resturaunt altogether. All of our kids have always been very well behaved, but most people asusme otherwise. Often when we walked in with our entorage of little kids, several people would ask for a table further away from us.
WE also often got asked:
"Are you catholic?"
"No"
"Are You mormon?"
"no"
"Well are you stupid?"
Some people just like having kids more than they like having TVs or new cars. Some people cannot comprehend this. They assume that you just could not figure out hose to stop having kids.
Last edited by Coldjensens; 12-14-2011 at 11:32 AM..
Not for me. I always wanted to be an only child because I liked a quieter household than my brother and sister did. So, I used to escape to my grandparent's house during the summer.
I liked my siblings more after we were grown up.
I have read that children of smaller families tend to have more success in life. Not surprising when you consider they get more resources as far as their parent's time and money.
I oringially wanted a small family, probably only one child. I came from a family with four kids and I was always jealous of only childs. We did not get along when we lived at home and often beat each other bloody. Now we are all pretty close. Althogh not best friends all the time, we look out for each other. Still I thought one child would be ideal.
We had twins first off. We did nto feel complete (or maybe birth control does nto always work) anyway we ended up with five kids. We love it. Everywhere we go, we have fun we have a built in circle of friends. We never need be concerned about Mom & Dad going off to do adult things and leaving Jr. alone and miserable (with a sitter of course). The older kids helped look after the younger so it was not super hard. Lots of people gave us stuff and things can be passed down so it was not super expensive - until now. Sports, college, instruments, music (and other) lessons, hobbies, cars, EEEK! They say it costs something like $200,000 to raise a child. I think it is $12,000 through age 14 and then $188,000 from 14-21.
A big family is wonderful, just make sure that you are prepared ofr ht enecessary financial and personal sacrifices.
Funny now, I once thoguht that only children were better off, now I feel sorry for them.
One thing that is funny; We have 5 kids, our close friends have 6 and another close frined has 4. When we go otu to eat together, we somteimes get left sitting in the lobby and ignored. "How many for dinner tonight?" "twenty one" (Big smile - eyes widening). "And how many are children?" "Fifteen" (big frown look of dismay) "Wait here please" (vanishes into the sunset never to be seen again). Sometimes they even ask us to leave. They make up some BS reason. The real reason - kids are messy, do not order much and usually off the discounted kids menu, make noise, annoy other patrons, stay a long time. . . . it is just a bad financial deal for the resturaunt altogether. All of our kids have always been very well behaved, but most people asusme otherwise. Often when we walked in with our entorage of little kids, several people would ask for a table further away from us.
WE also often got asked:
"Are you catholic?"
"No"
"Are You mormon?"
"no"
"Well are you stupid?"
Some people just like having kids more than they like having TVs or new cars. Some people cannot comprehend this. They assume that you just could not figure out hose to stop having kids.
I don't understand why people feel the need to butt into your business and ask why you had more than the 2 children standard.
I don't understand why people feel the need to butt into your business and ask why you had more than the 2 children standard.
ALL. THE. TIME. What is crazy is when people will criticize the decision. I always ask, which one do you think shouldn't exist? This one? These two? Which ones?
ALL. THE. TIME. What is crazy is when people will criticize the decision. I always ask, which one do you think shouldn't exist? This one? These two? Which ones?
I have picked up a big knife and said "Sorry kids, this lady says I have to kill three of you. Who volunteers?"
Or "Well When I die at least five people will be sad. Who will be sad when you die?"
Funny the butt-inners don't seem to think that is funny.
WE have five, One of my brothers has one. My other brother and sister have none. Thus, for the four of us we are just below the recommended 1.8 children. We did it just right!
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Glad to hear that. I have an only child and people sometimes give me the look of pity over it! But I think it's great![/quote]
We are a very close family. The only time my son made a comment about not liking being an only child is when he was in first grade. He asked for an older brother. LOL! The only thing that makes me feel bad is he will have to deal with my husband and I when we are older. A sibling that shares in that burden would be helpful but then again, it really just depends. I have a friend that has one sibling that she never talks to, so there really is no perfect number as there are no guarantees that anything will play out the way we hope or think it will.
