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Old 01-24-2007, 02:50 PM
Location: NW Arkansas
304 posts, read 1,280,259 times
Reputation: 149


I don't think you are being overprotective at that age. We have (2) 5 year olds and a 3 year old, and we make sure one of us is in the area to supervise them. We don't hover over them, but we also don't just go back inside and ignore them either. If they want to go over to a friend's house, we walk over there with them. One of our neighbors seems okay with letting her kids wander around unsupervised; that is her decision, but I'm not comfortable with doing that with my kids. If I'm overprotective...so be it.

If you haven't met the other child's parent(s), I would make sure you meet them first. My mom always insisted on meeting the parents of my friends before letting me play at their house. When I was a kid, I thought she was being silly about it, but in hindsight I understand.
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Old 01-25-2007, 01:52 AM
Location: Southern Ca but getting out soon
892 posts, read 2,172,265 times
Reputation: 227
I would never let my son go alone at 5. Maybe 7 (or 13 ) I am defiantly overprotective but oh well. When he whines that other kids do (bad) things that I don't allow, like standing on a restaurant table, I just say that other parents raise their children differently and they have different rules than me and that's the end of the subject. But he is 3, I can get away with that for now.
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Old 01-25-2007, 07:43 AM
1,608 posts, read 9,025,059 times
Reputation: 936
At five years old I would not let my daughter go play somewhere without me being there. No way. Too many things happen to kids these days and I would rather err on the side of caution to keep my daughter safe. At that age my daughter will only play where I'm in ear/eye shot of her.

Don't worry about her crying and being upset about it. As parents sometimes we have to do things and make decisions that will make our kids cry. But those decisions keep them safe and teach them things. It's not the last time she will cry over a decision you have made, trust me. But you even questioning her doing it lets me know that your gut instinct says she shouldn't do it. Follow your instincts.
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Old 01-25-2007, 11:53 AM
Location: in a house
3,574 posts, read 12,843,673 times
Reputation: 2332
Originally Posted by plaidmom View Post
I'd go over and meet the neighbor. I wouldn't let my 5 year-old daughter play at a strangers house; you want a relationship with the parents before you make that decision.

After meeting the parent(s) in person, you may decide they are ok...or you may decide that all play-dates will happen at your house.

Five years old is also probably a good age to start talking about some basic traffic-safety (e.g. "don't cross a street without a grownup" or "only walk on a sidewalk").
Absolutely agree. It sounds like you're close enough neighbors. Besides, since you're new, you probably do need to get out and meet the neighbors. Who knows, her mom might be someone you'd like as a friend. If all that is ok, and family is stellar and you just don't want her to go because she'll be elsewhere - perhaps you might want to relax a little. Please say that you don't take her with you to adult-type functions because you can't bear to leave her with a sitter - that's an entirely different issue!
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Old 08-12-2008, 09:50 AM
Location: connecticut
64 posts, read 132,937 times
Reputation: 19
Unfortunately, nowadays it isn't safe to let your kids play outside alone, even if it's in their own back yard. Anything can happen in a matter of seconds!
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Old 08-12-2008, 09:54 AM
5,244 posts, read 4,210,149 times
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I would not let her go over alone considering that you do not know these people very well.
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Old 03-26-2009, 07:19 PM
1 posts, read 1,429 times
Reputation: 10
Geez. Ok first of all, the OTHER dangers are just that. Dangers. You can only teach your children about them. It is not the age of the child that matters, It is the maturity of the child. My 5 y/o is extremely mature for his age. We allow him to go to the neighbors house-across the street. He plays outside with their children, in plain view of both of our houses. I still check on him every 10-15 minutes, but I do not allow my fear to inhibit his play. We started very slowly with outside "alone" time, then the ice cream truck, then walking to the neighbors. I spent time with them and we have a working friendship as parents as well. Stop being so scared with your children. We all survived and even though it was not AS known, there were the same other dangers, it was just taboo to talk about. I would rather have a little nervousness and constantly peer thru the window or across the lawn at my child than have an emotionally wrecked person that still lives with mother at 30.
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Old 03-26-2009, 08:18 PM
Location: North Carolina
546 posts, read 1,463,894 times
Reputation: 583
Allowing your child outside alone depends on your neighborhood, your yard, and are you watching them out the window, checking up on them, etc? I have let m 5y old do this. He knows I'm watching, he knows the boundaries of where he can and can not go. He's 7 now and we have the same rules.

As for allowing your daughter to her friends: I would get to know the parents. Invite them over for coffee while your kids play. If you get good vibes, then I see no reason why not to let your daughter go. She is in school, or will be, and social interaction is a great thing for her to learn and work on. And it's going to happehn sooner or later, allowing her over to a friends house. Best to get used to it first on your terms rather than be blindsided later on.
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Old 03-28-2009, 06:39 PM
Location: I'm around here someplace :)
3,633 posts, read 4,253,283 times
Reputation: 3980
Originally Posted by DBNN View Post
My daughter is 5 and in Kindergarten. I 'm a stay at home Mom.
My daughter has never been to a Day Care and has only been watched by a family member a few times.

I never let her play outside alone. My neighbor lets their 6 year old girl play outside alone and she comes to our door alone.
This Little girl has been inside our house to play for a couple hours.

My daughters little friend wants her to come to her house and play. I do not know if I can handle letting my daughter go.
What do you think? Do you think I'm being over protective ? Is it normal for 5 year olds to play outside alone and walk to neighbors houses alone.
My problem is my daughter was upset and crying because I wouldn't let her go.

We just moved into town from the country on acreage. My daughter is not use to living in town with roads. We have a freeway close by. I do not think a 5 year old would wonder off onto a road but.............No one can watch her like I Do !
I think you've been one-hundred-percent on the right track... keep doing as you have been...
and, like another poster said- before letting your child visit at her friend's home, be sure you've had the chance to get to know her parents well first.
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Old 03-28-2009, 06:49 PM
2,838 posts, read 8,846,159 times
Reputation: 2857
No, I absolutely would not let my five year old go to someone's house on her own, especially someone who I don't know extremely well. My eight year old is not allowed to go in people's houses, either. I do not think you're being overprotective... just protective!
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