Taking things away--is that stealing? (grandma, raise, sister, kids)

[max's mama]

think you are REALLY twisting people's words with these posts.... nobody said they try and degrade or belittle their children... I don't bend down and look my four year old in the face and tell her she is priviledged to use an item that I spent my money on... but if she misbehaves and I have to take something out of her room for a day I do explain that she has lost the privilege to use it... again age appropriate behavior and conversaton need apply when discussing things with a child.... your posts of interpretation of OTHERS comments seem a bit harsh and judgemental, and a different message is created by your words than what they actually wrote... nobody said they are "A-holes" about the removal of the object... making a child feel like less of human beign....but I can only speak for myself when i say I read your original post as saying children are equals... and don't we agree... My answer is NO, plain and simple....children do not have equal reign over the things in my house... the same rules do not apply... Again, I do not believe in a democratic household....

What do I mean by a democratic household?

What are you talking about??? I never said that any of the parents here "throwing it in their children's faces"!!! You misunderstood me!!! That was the whole point of me asking questions!!! Speaking of twisting words.

[skbs]

You might want to reread what you wrote... I don't think I twisted anything... just read your words.

[quote]

Originally Posted by max's mama

nobody ever threw it in our face of how priviledged we are to use it or that we should be thankful because it was bought with my parents hard-earned money. We felt a certain amount of ownership for our stuff and we didn't feel like we are any less members of the family then everyone else. ]

And I must not be the only one who thinks it if I am getting reps for the comment... hmmmm

[max's mama]

[quote=skbs;4737672]You might want to reread what you wrote... I don't think I twisted anything... just read your words.

And I must not be the only one who thinks it if I am getting reps for the comment... hmmmm

Did I say anywhere that "I'm not like you, I'm not throwing it in my child's face?" Please do not put words in my mouth. Do you want me to start telling you how many rep points I got? It's not a popularity club.
You sound very angry at me. It's not very nice. I didn't personally insult you, I didn't personally say anything mean to you. If you are angry, take it elsewhere.

[vukinjo]

[quote=max's mama;4737695]

Originally Posted by skbs

You might want to reread what you wrote... I don't think I twisted anything... just read your words.




Did I say anywhere that "I'm not like you, I'm not throwing it in my child's face?" Please do not put words in my mouth. Do you want me to start telling you how many rep points I got? It's not a popularity club.

No, but your words of how nobody threw it in your face pretty much implied that whether or not that was your intention.

[max's mama]

[quote=vukinjo;4737746]

Originally Posted by max's mama

No, but your words of how nobody threw it in your face pretty much implied that whether or not that was your intention.

Well, then my apologies, because I didn't personally mean to imply anything. That's why I was asking questions.

Actually I wanted to bail from this discussion last night. It's obvious, like usually I have a different opinion with almost everyone else here. I respected everyone's points and opinions and wasn't about to start a debate, but ended up rubbing people the wrong way anyway.
So, I will step back because argueing with strangers takes too much out of my time and it's not worth it.

[skbs]

[quote=vukinjo;4737746]

Originally Posted by max's mama

No, but your words of how nobody threw it in your face pretty much implied that whether or not that was your intention.

Did you mean THIS quote?

nobody ever threw it in our face of how priviledged we are to use it or that we should be thankful because it was bought with my parents hard-earned money. We felt a certain amount of ownership for our stuff and we didn't feel like we are any less members of the family then everyone else.

[jkcoop]

[quote=skbs;4737284]

My answer is NO, plain and simple....children do not have equal reign over the things in my house... the same rules do not apply... Again, I do not believe in a democratic household....

I agree here as well. We never rubbed anything in our son's face either, but when there was disrespect, bad attitude, etc., having something temporarily taken away was effective.

He's 15 now. Darn good kid. Works for something when he wants it (and I'm not talking allowance money - mowing, etc.). He bought his own xbox. Now thankfully he's not one to sit and play it a whole lot, but there are occasions where he will (usually when some new game came out) and when asked to turn it off, there were a few times he wasn't very good about it. Guess what - couldn't use it for x amount of time. I don't care if he bought it or not. It was causing him to have an attitude and be disrespectful. And when he did use the "but I bought it" we said, "fine, and who supplies the electricity?" He got the point.

When he starts driving next year he won't have equal rights to the car. It will be a privilege and frankly, will be taken away if warranted.

Without a doubt each age requires different methods. Teenagers can be bad enough as it is - the last thing I want him thinking is that is on the same level as my husband and I. We respect him, his opinions, etc. But at the end of the day, he's the child, we are the parents.

[skbs]

[quote=max's mama;4737776]

Originally Posted by vukinjo

Well, then my apologies, because I didn't personally mean to imply anything. That's why I was asking questions.

Actually I wanted to bail from this discussion last night. It's obvious, like usually I have a different opinion with almost everyone else here. I respected everyone's points and opinions and wasn't about to start a debate, but ended up rubbing people the wrong way anyway.
So, I will step back because argueing with strangers takes too much out of my time and it's not worth it.

no it was the right person... I am getting myself all confuse... the debate did start with your post...I wasn't in debate mode until the judgements came flying and exclamation points came into play... everyone was accepting each others views and not challenging them with twisted personal interpretations and accusations...it was very civil...

Kids are not equals... the do not deserve the same rights and I am not going to Put myslef in Time Out for misbehaving... how rediculous... punishing yourself as you would your child...never heard of anything so... so ******* **** that I can't even come up with an appropriate word.

[vukinjo]

How are all the quotes getting mixed up? lol

[2mares]

We took pride in our little black and white small tv, we were allowed to turn it on in the certain time of the day and nobody ever threw it in our face of how priviledged we are to use it or that we should be thankful because it was bought with my parents hard-earned money. We felt a certain amount of ownership for our stuff and we didn't feel like we are any less members of the family then everyone else.

Your statement helped me to understand you statement about taking away kids tv and would parents apply that to themselves (I think). For me yes. It is equal, but still there are rules. My rules are that I have things to do like clean, cook etc. If I dont get these things done, I do not watch TV. The kids have to do homework, clean room, whatever if they dont get it done, no TV. So IMO, it is an equal privliege.

Is that clear as mud? LOL

As far a breaking things, it depend on if it was an accident, negligence or intentional.