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Old 08-08-2008, 04:45 PM
11,836 posts, read 12,613,384 times
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in general, the best way to get an answer is to follow up, with a phone call or visit, polite of course. The mores persistent and present you are, again still polite, then you can't be ignored, and you will get an answer or response

as far as twins placement, mine were not ready to be separated grade-wise until around 5th grade. After that they still had some classes together. I felt it would have been VERY DETRIMENTAL to separate them sooner, the teachers they had agreed, the school agreed, so we were all on the same page. Fortunately we were in a school with lots of twins and an administration that knew the advantages of not forcibly separating them too early.

The boys let us all know when they were ready to be apart, and again the school was on the same page, by the time they REQUIRED the boys be apart, was also when the boys chose to be apart

Even in high school they could have time together a class here or there, or semesters with no classes together they still ate lunch together. They chose to go to the same university, and meet regularly during the week for dinner. I have known twins who went to different universities and were miserable both. I am always curious to hear other twins and parents' stories.
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Old 08-09-2008, 05:24 AM
Location: FL
1,943 posts, read 7,515,584 times
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I don't think I would expect a response (I'm a teacher and a parent...but I think I am speaking about this on the part of a teacher). You gave it at the end of the year, which is such a hectic time for important matters....and it's not even the beginning of the year yet (well, at least here it isn't).

I know that as we speak, the office is still playing around with class lists. And many things go into class lists: behaviors; boys/girls; reading levels, race; the teacher might have to be more ESE, ESOL, gifted....

And, it is only a request. A specific teacher cannot be a demand. Each school gets a plethora of requests and they all cannot be honored....and sometimes they don't know if they can be honored until closer to when school starts.

For example, teachers at my school get to give their top 3 requests for a teacher for their child. We don't find out ourselves until the beginning of the year. I found out last year earlier because my request wasn't being honored and they gave me the reason why. I found out this year because I am friends with the 2nd grade teachers, and when they placed my son into the third grade class, they informed me.

But, at the end of the year and at the beginning of the year, a school such as mine with about 900 students, probably gets what...100 requests? Then, apart from those 150 requests from parents and teachers alike (and I think there probably are more requests than that), parents get to fill out a form about what kind of teacher they think would best suit their child (if their child is super sensitive, they probably wouldn't do well with a harsher teacher known to handle behavior problems), along with the requirements of specific children being in each class (ESOL, ESE, gifted)... and to figure out all of that and to give each teacher a response by the end of the year- when you say you gave the note...is not going to happen....it's not going to happen over the summer...and whenever anyone is scheduled to come back, they are in the middle of doing that....so you will find out most likely when you get the postcard...unless you call/email like perhaps the 100 out of the 150 parents (I'm subtracting some of the ones who might be teachers and know not to do that)....and if they know by then, then they will have to stop each and every time to look up and inform each parent...before their postcard gets sent out....

it's not as easy nor immediate as everyone thinks.
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Old 08-09-2008, 06:56 AM
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I think you will get a response when you find out if your children are in the same class or not. Most schools haven't finalized their class lists yet. With people moving in and out of the district our elementary schools don't set a list until the week before school starts and even then it often changes through the first weeks of school. No, I would not have expected a response yet. I have twins, they were in the same class in kindergarten, they wanted to separate in 1st-3rd grade, put them back together in 4th grade due to teacher concerns (on my part--did NOT want them with one of the teaches). They moved to middle school and have had the same teachers but not necessarily the same schedule since. It is MUCH easier for homework, etc. to have them together. Mine are b/g twins so the social side of things is easier.
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Old 08-09-2008, 08:02 AM
Location: In my own little corner... sittin' in Jax FL
589 posts, read 1,417,279 times
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Cool As Paul Harvey said... And this is -- the rest of the story...

The question I posted was this -- Do you expect a response when you take the time to write the school a letter? Since this thread has become more focused on the example that I gave, rather than the question itself, I'd like to speak to those replies.

I realize that the end of the school year and the beginning of the school year are busy times. Our school has 300 students. I wrote the letter at the end of the school year -- 6/5/08. Our new school year begins -- 8/18/08. Between those times, I know there was time off, cleaning, and then things get busy again in preparation for the new school year. I know that there was some downtime that the principal could have written an e-mail, made a phone call, or jotted a quick note. I'm not asking for anything too difficult... just the courtesy of a response.

I requested my twins to be in the same class - whichever class it is. If I were asking for a specific teacher I would not expect a response at all. I know that there are many factors involved in student placement. However, this particular request was not for a specific teacher.

I called the school on 8/1/08 to verify that the request was received and to find out when we would be notified of placement. The principal answered the phone. I explained who I was and that I was wondering about the status of my request. I also offered, as a district certified parent-volunteer, to come to the school to help with back-to-school preparations. The principal said she thought she had put them together. Postcards will be mailed around 8/12/08. We are new to this particular school and are not familiar with their back-to-school procedures. The other school, in the district, that they attended did send postcards and had a Meet & Greet.

I have my reasons for wanting my twins together. They are not co-dependent. Within the classroom they have their own peer groups and don't fight. I have several examples from previous years. It's a matter of teaching styles and homework varying so greatly across the grade level that they fight over which one is right. This makes homework time stressful and difficult. (Yes, I know I'm the parent and should 'control' my children. but why not try to avoid some unnecessary stress?)

In my letter, I very politely put those reasons and my willingness to work with the teachers so that them being in the same class is not a detriment to the other children's learning experience.

So... there is the rest of the story to this specific example. LOL
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Old 08-09-2008, 08:23 AM
Location: NC/SC Border Patrol
21,136 posts, read 20,597,710 times
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As a normal person with a business background, yes I would expect a reply if for no other reason but to let you know how the process works and what they can and cannot do for you.

As a parent that had two children graduate, I expect nothing. It is very easy for me to see why the education system is failing. I am tired of whinning teachers. It is time for them to get off their bottoms and get to work doing their jobs.

Did you see the post where the teacher said they had many important things to do this time of year. I would think the parents concerns for their children would be the first important concern. That it is not the first concern is why our schools are failing.

I expect to get blasted, but if our educational system is to stop the decline, some people are going to have to stop being politically correct and tell it like it is. I worked in the public library for 28 years and had to help educate a lot of children when the schools did not have the time or care enough to bother. I loved my job, but I saw a lot in the school system that needs to be changed. Number one on the list should be to treat parents with more respect and consider them your boss, because in the end, the God given responsibility for the child belongs to the parent.

What I noticed and things I was told made me realize that the school system does not think it should have to be accountable to the parents. Government was more important. The attitude I noticed was, "I will take your child and do as I please and do something about it if you can." I did. I put my child in a private school where the principal told us at the first parent meeting, "Let us know what you want and we will do our very best to do it for your child." He went on to say that they would change anything except the kitchen sink in the lunchroom. Then he corrected himself and said, "Well, I guess we could change that too." It was the best thing I ever did for my child.
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Old 08-09-2008, 10:19 AM
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Originally Posted by Sum1Else View Post
Do you expect a response when you take the time to write the school a letter?
Depends on the nature of the request.

You have a unique situation. Unfortunately, so do all the other parents.

I hope the best for you & your twins.
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Old 08-09-2008, 10:28 AM
3,842 posts, read 9,115,274 times
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[quote=NCN;4792498] I am tired of whinning teachers. It is time for them to get off their bottoms and get to work doing their jobs.
Number one on the list should be to treat parents with more respect and consider them your boss, because in the end, the God given responsibility for the child belongs to the parent.

I'm tired of whining parents who do nothing productive but complain b/c their darling Johnny isn't being treated like a prince at school.

I'm tired of parents not getting off their butts to help out at school.

Mostly, I'm tired of parents not discipling their children & raising spoiled brats b/c it's more convienent to be a friend & place blame.

You have obviously never had b/w 90-100 children a day to teach. You have obviously never had 30 children in a classroom all with different attitudes, behaviors, tempermants, and learning styles. You have obviously never dealt with 150-300 parents during a school year with a good half of them being pompous & arrogant & willing to do nothing but complain that they had to take their child to library to get a book on the weekend and that it interfered with their tennis game. Par this with NCLB requirements, ESL, ESO, etc.

The problem isn't the education system. The problem is the self-righteous attitude of society & that they should have to do nothing but get everything they demand.

And parents are not my boss. They want to be but they are not.
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Old 08-09-2008, 02:57 PM
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The problem isn't the education system. The problem is the self-righteous attitude of society & that they should have to do nothing but get everything they demand.
I actually think the problem is a combination of the education system and the parents. The all-encompassing "it depends" answer. I would not want to generalize it to say that all parents are a problem or all teachers/administrators are a problem. I have seen absolutely horrific teachers who should not be there and the parents have the right to complain. I also have seen absolutely horrific parents who the teachers have a right to complain about. Each side complaining about the other and lumping everyone together is not very conducive to a solution.

In the meantime, I think that this particular argument (teachers vs. parents) should go to another thread as we're not exactly on-topic here.

To answer the OP's original question (do you expect to receive an answer when you take the time to write a letter?), again, "it depends." It depends upon why I am writing the letter. If I am requesting or asking something in the letter, then yes, I do expect a response of some kind at some point. Even if it's a "I can't give you an answer until 3 months from now when we make the school lists up."
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Old 08-09-2008, 11:03 PM
6,585 posts, read 22,077,429 times
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No, I would not expect a reply to a letter requesting that. I would just expect it to happen.

Whenever I do communicate with the school I always use email. It's so quick to make a response and if you don't get a response, you can just pull it up again and resend and ask for a status update on the issue. I would expect paper letters to get lost since schools aren't the most organized places in the world.
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Old 08-10-2008, 07:15 AM
Status: "Weary is not a contraction of wary/leery" (set 20 days ago)
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
9,017 posts, read 12,793,403 times
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No, I would not expect a response to that particular type of letter to the school. A placement request has too many variables and is subject to last minutes changes, and I think most schools would be unwilling to commit to a definite answer in advance. Not to mention I know schools are flooded with placement requests, so much so that our school made up a form that has to be filled out if you want any sort of special consideration. I can't imagine the principal taking the time to answer that many parents, especially as some parents will be disappointed or upset and will disagree with whatever decision was made.
OTOH if I wrote a letter, during the school year, addressing a particular event or situation that concerned me, then I would expect a direct response. That's a different situation altogether.
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