Do women feel compelled to love kids? Is their something wrong with women who have little interest in children? (childcare, have to tell her)
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I loved kids. I could not wait to have them. I had a huge role in raising my brothers. When it comes to kids, I am a natural. I am sharp to what is going on and am the first to give praise, the first to come running when a kid screams, and the first to dole out a stern talking to. If there are neglectful parents around, they do not like me because if their kids are doing anything dangerous, stupid, or playing in a way that is not cool around my kids, it is my responsibility to protect my kids and I will have a talk with them or send them away from my kids if the parents do not handle it. I did that this weekend when camping where I had kids playing with my kids and being very dangerous. I had a talk with their parents but they would not stop and finally we had to kust keep our kids away from them. It did require us to send our children out of out sight to play with a couple of kids who were out with their grandparents who DH happened to know for 20 years. When DD went to play with those boys, I told her it might be better to join her brothers. The other kids wanted to go as well but their parent made a comment about how irresponsible it was to play in that area where there were people walking a trail and the increased risk to being kidnapped. Whatever woman. You kid is making fun of a kid with an eye patch on, throwing sharp objects at other kids, storming off screaming, and you're making snide remarks about me sending my kids to play somewhere safer with people we knew.
Normally, we have all the kids where ever we are in front of us playing in a large group and everyone gets along fine. If someone strays and the parent finds out later that I had to have a talk with their kid, they thank me and tell them to have more respect for me. I have been told I am like super nanny when it comes to making kids folllow rules. On the opposite end, I am fixing boo-boos, getting down to eye level and talking to kids in a way that shows I respect them. AND at parties, I end up being the DDM (designated mother), I always have two or three kids sitting on my lap, a group of kids at my feet listening to me read, or am handing a rope to a group of rowdy boys for tug of war. It is nice that people do not assume I am putting on a show. I love kids and I know how their minds work and I can natually work on their level, and half of the time, I would prefer to be with them than the adult company. I'm not a mainstream person so I do not care to carry on mind numbing conversation in subjects that have no real value, like American Idol or some stupid movie like Marley and Me so playing with the kids gives me an easy out.
There are people who just hate kids and then have them anyway. That I do not understand. The way I look at it though, woman who choose not to have children are actually helping in a small way with over population.
You know what. I like this thread; this is mainly because I am the few among my friends that will not have children. I don't feel an obligation to despite my friends having children. The only problem that could possibly arise is if I ever choose to marry, the guy will have to agree to not have children either.
Also, I have a friend who is a mother and works at a daycare. Hates all children except hers. To each their own.
Are you sure she HATES all children?
I ask because I worked as a childcare giver for many years. In my case anyway, nothing will burn you out faster on "other people's kids" than a child care job. It's frustrating when you deal with kids day in and day out and you see the results of bad parenting, neglectful parenting, parents who try to 'buy' their children's love out of guilt, and so on.
I certainly appreciated my own children a thousand times over after having worked with other people's kids for years. Some of the kids I worked with were just amazing, adorable, and I was quite attached. Others though...whew. Hard to like is putting it MILDLY. It wasn't about hating kids though, it was just about being frustrated with the parents because eight times out of ten the kid that drove you nuts and you just HOPED would be picked up first was the product of bad parenting and it's sad, because you realize that the parents are causing problems for that child that will last a lifetime.
So yes, after that experience I might come across as someone who only likes my own children. Not really true but I don't want to have responsibility for groups of other people's kids anymore. One on one maybe.
I also don't think it's horrible if you don't have automatic love for a child just because it's a child, or just because it's a relative or whatever. I have concern for the well being of all children because they are children, but I've met plenty that I didn't like on a personality-level and I don't feel guilty about that. It doesn't mean I am mean to them or anything, but even my best friend's kids, kids I've known since they were born and who are basically like my niece and nephew, are pretty obnoxious and annoying to be around (well at least until they were much older).
I still don't see why a thread that started a year ago has been revived and moved here.
Ez answer Suzie - it's obviously a hot topic. People have feelings about it. It doesn't need to turn ugly. Anyone who makes it so is just expressing their own deep seated insecurities. If you know who you are, recognize your boundaries and your limitations, and embrace your gifts, you don't need to flame anyone. Besides, if someone does start flaming, we just need to click on that little button at the top and ask the moderator to look into it.
Ez answer Suzie - it's obviously a hot topic. People have feelings about it. It doesn't need to turn ugly. Anyone who makes it so is just expressing their own deep seated insecurities. If you know who you are, recognize your boundaries and your limitations, and embrace your gifts, you don't need to flame anyone. Besides, if someone does start flaming, we just need to click on that little button at the top and ask the moderator to look into it.
Peace out.
I am confused. Are you telling me I am insecure?
I saw this thread in the other forum and I was happy it wasn't in the parenting forum and then this morning here it was.
Regarding reporting, the last time I reported someone using the word breeder nothing happened. I reported it twice. But hey insulting parents is OK around here. So yes when I see this type of thread I am oversensitive. I wasn't when I first joined C-D though.
I saw this thread in the other forum and I was happy it wasn't in the parenting forum and then this morning here it was.
Regarding reporting, the last time I reported someone using the word breeder nothing happened. I reported it twice. But hey insulting parents is OK around here. So yes when I see this type of thread I am oversensitive. I wasn't when I first joined C-D though.
Nope. Just sayin' anyone who feels the need to flame has other issues going on, so I don't worry about it. Reporting depends upon who the moderator is and how buried they are in reports. And no, insulting parents isn't ok. Insulting ANYONE is against the TOS. And this thread started up in the Community Chat forum and got moved. Again, it's a hot topic. So people new to the forum see it and comment. No biggie. If it bothers you, don't open it. Being 'oversensitive,' as you put it, just takes too much energy. You have choices.
Nope. Just sayin' anyone who feels the need to flame has other issues going on, so I don't worry about it. Reporting depends upon who the moderator is and how buried they are in reports. And no, insulting parents isn't ok. Insulting ANYONE is against the TOS. And this thread started up in the Community Chat forum and got moved. Again, it's a hot topic. So people new to the forum see it and comment. No biggie. If it bothers you, don't open it. Being 'oversensitive,' as you put it, just takes too much energy. You have choices.
As I said I read the thread in the Comunity Chat. I read and saw how old it was so I didn't participate. I have a choice to be silent or to speak up. First time around I was silent and things got only worse. I even left the Parenting forum for a few months. Now I chose to speak up.
As I said I read the thread in the Comunity Chat. I read and saw how old it was so I didn't participate. I have a choice to be silent or to speak up. First time around I was silent and things got only worse. I even left the Parenting forum for a few months. Now I chose to speak up.
you are choosing to make waves when instead things should be calm.
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