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Old 08-22-2008, 07:35 AM
 
2,839 posts, read 9,954,038 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by treeg26 View Post
*A question for all the co-sleepers.*

When is a child too old to be sleeping with the parents all night? I don't mean coming in during the night, but actually going to bed with you and waking up with you? Refusing to sleep alone at all?
It's up to the individual family. I've never heard of anyone with a teen who wanted to sleep with mom and dad, and I know a LOT of co-sleepers. Occasionally my 5 year old will spend the whole night with us (though she still goes to sleep earlier than us... sometimes she will simply go to bed in our bed instead of her own). My 7-year-old will on occasion when my husband is traveling as well. One of my best friends has 3 sons, and her oldest outgrew it before age 10.

What difference does it really make? I can guarantee you that if you saw a large group of children and their parents, you'd have no idea who sleeps alone, who comes into mama's bed during the wee hours, and who sleeps in a family bed all night long. It's really a non-issue.
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Old 08-22-2008, 07:52 AM
 
Location: San Antonio
128 posts, read 354,044 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by treeg26 View Post
*A question for all the co-sleepers.*

When is a child too old to be sleeping with the parents all night? I don't mean coming in during the night, but actually going to bed with you and waking up with you? Refusing to sleep alone at all?
i think just like a lot of posters here have mentioned, cosleeping is something they will just grow out of naturally. you can do things to encourage them sleep away from you, but in the end, they will do it when they're ready. i guess that just depends on how much you insist on getting them out. there are a lot of different parenting methods that are used to get your child into their own beds. i'd suggest a website or some books. i like to watch Nanny911! lol. i am blessed to have a son that is very independent, more so as he keeps getting older. i love having him sleep with us, but i can sense that it will be soon for him to want to sleep alone. sometimes i think he gets annoyed at not being able to stretch out in bed...so he has his own room. sometimes i'll take him in there when i notice he's not sleeping good and let him sleep in his bed. i usually sleep on the floor next to him. i know at some point of the night he'll wake up and want to come to bed with us. we've tried a few nights letting him start out in his room, but he always makes it back to ours. i don't require a lot of sleep, but when i do need to catch up from the long week, my husband will let us sleep in on the weekends. we never have any problems letting our son do whatever is comfortable for him to sleep. for now, he's only two. he's still my baby.
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Old 08-22-2008, 08:22 AM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 17,329,430 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by treeg26 View Post
*A question for all the co-sleepers.*

When is a child too old to be sleeping with the parents all night? I don't mean coming in during the night, but actually going to bed with you and waking up with you? Refusing to sleep alone at all?
Well, I would like to bring up my own personal experience as a child. Since we were a poor family, 3 adults, 2 children living in one bedroom apartment, I was sleeping with my mother until I was 5 and then with my grandmother in the same bed for many years, until I was I was 14. Believe me - by that time, I was dying to be in my own room. Yet, I'm a very independent person. It didn't affect me negatively in any way. My parents were married for 27 years and they would have still been married if my mother was alive. When I was about 15, I asked my mother a very personal question. I asked her if her and papa still get it on in the bedroom. My mom told me that their sex life just got better and better with age.

My son is 3 and sleeps next to us. We are planning to move to a bigger place by next spring. I will then introduce him to his own bed and see what happens. Generally I believe children grow out of cosleeping on their own.
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Old 08-22-2008, 09:41 AM
 
Location: In a house
21,956 posts, read 24,201,299 times
Reputation: 15030
Quote:
Originally Posted by amberbaby27 View Post
And another co-sleeper here. My son is 2nd generation co sleeper ha ha. I selpt in my parents bed. I can remember feeling so safe. My son is 3 1/2 has his own room and still tiptoes in in the middle of the night. No problem for me or my hubby. As far as wetting the bed come on now there called pull ups LOL We call them big boys since he is pottie trained and only wears them at night. As far as this being unhealthy...... well I don't think it is healthy not having an open mind.
Yes, and this particular poster is my daughter and she and her brother did sleep in my husbands and my bed when they were little. Time is so short for them to be young. What's wrong with making them feel that extra security? Amberbaby seems to have turned out just fine and so did her brother! I loved being close to them. They eventually wanted their own space and took to their own beds. If hubby and I wanted private time we worked around the situation--no problem and still had our privacy! I think this is a very personal matter and as another poster said--what I do in my home is my business as long as I am not hurting anyone. If this bothers others---well that's space you've rented in your head, not mine!
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Old 08-22-2008, 10:43 AM
 
Location: Kentucky
1,088 posts, read 2,189,837 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 121804 View Post
Why do you care what others do in regards to sleeping habits?

Co-sleeping is not something that would work for my family & I am the other extreme & used the cry it out method & that worked great for us. Some people think I am a criminal for CIO method, but it worked for us. Our 3yr old sleeps 11-12hrs/night through the night in his own bed. He wakes up ready to go every morning, usually with a big sleepy smile. Our 8 month old is getting weaned & learning that he's gotta figure out how to sleep, too. It's just how WE DECIDED to do it.

So, whatever works in regards to sleeping habits...go for it!! I can't see the sense in judging people on something such as co-sleeping.

It is ok. The important thing is that at night your children feel safe, secure & loved. This is what leads them to get a good night sleep. How parents go about doing this is their own perogative.
See, I don't see either end as "extremes" .. I don't get why it has to be "either/or". My oldest co-slept for a year, then i used CIO to move her to her own bed. She's 4.5 now and sleeps fine on her own.. goes to bed at 7:30, gets up at 7:30, naps midday.. all on her own. My youngest is 1, and never coslept.. it just wasnt a need for her and she never needed to CIO..I got lucky, but I deserved it after how horrible a sleeper the first was. LOL She too goes to bed 7:30 to 7:30 and naps during the day.
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Old 08-22-2008, 12:16 PM
 
2,542 posts, read 6,887,646 times
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Perhaps the problem the OP had was that the co-sleeping friends were judgmental to her? If that is the case, then she should be right to be upset (although I fear we might have driven her away, since most of us seem to be co-sleepers...). Know matter what the subject, there are always people that get a little over-the-top in the better-then-you catergory, especially when it comes to parenting! But, OP, if you are still here, next time take a cue from some posters here and tell them to stay out of your bedroom!

Spotted1: Oh! How I wish I got your luck! My first son was not a good sleeper, so I think somewhere in the pregancy for #2, my husband and I said, "Well, can't be worse then #1 in sleeping." Boy, how wrong, wrong, wrong we were! Although sometimes I think that they just like our comfy, soft bed better then their own slightly harder ones. Have you ever noticed that? The crib/toddler mattresses are hard as rocks! Maybe if you spend more then the ones sold at Walmart/Target, you have more selection, but oiy! I wouldn't sleep on one!
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Old 08-22-2008, 01:42 PM
 
5,273 posts, read 7,327,772 times
Reputation: 14925
Quote:
Originally Posted by atlmburns View Post
To be honest it's none of your business how we parent our children, if they co-sleep with us or not and how our marriages survive is none of your business. I will not let you even attempt to make me feel bad for the choices i make and i am certainly not going to attempt to justify it to you either.
It is an opinion board...Don't answer the question then!!

I am entitled to my opinion. Thank you!!
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Old 08-22-2008, 01:46 PM
 
5,273 posts, read 7,327,772 times
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OK, ok! I was abit abrasive the way I asked this question. I understand in other cultures and countries people do this....but NOT at 13!!

I am seeing 2 different sides to the way things are handled BUT with twins it is a totally different ball game..............so we needed them on schedules and they are doing great since they were very small! Of course if they had bad dreams, nightmares or something happened of course I would let them come in or whathave you!..

I undestand the different "approaches" but co-sleeping isn't the right thing for us.

With that said thanks for all the replies but some of you were very rude!! I will excuse that since I was a bit abrasive.................

And as for the one in the 1 bedroom apt. of course you would have to sleep in the same room! that would be a tough thing and I am sorry you have to go through that!
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Old 08-22-2008, 01:48 PM
 
5,273 posts, read 7,327,772 times
Reputation: 14925
Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyme4878 View Post
Perhaps the problem the OP had was that the co-sleeping friends were judgmental to her? If that is the case, then she should be right to be upset (although I fear we might have driven her away, since most of us seem to be co-sleepers...). Know matter what the subject, there are always people that get a little over-the-top in the better-then-you catergory, especially when it comes to parenting! But, OP, if you are still here, next time take a cue from some posters here and tell them to stay out of your bedroom!

Spotted1: Oh! How I wish I got your luck! My first son was not a good sleeper, so I think somewhere in the pregancy for #2, my husband and I said, "Well, can't be worse then #1 in sleeping." Boy, how wrong, wrong, wrong we were! Although sometimes I think that they just like our comfy, soft bed better then their own slightly harder ones. Have you ever noticed that? The crib/toddler mattresses are hard as rocks! Maybe if you spend more then the ones sold at Walmart/Target, you have more selection, but oiy! I wouldn't sleep on one!

I will be honest. I have alot of friends but only one family I know co-sleeps 3 and 5....that's it! Seriously I had my kids a bit later in life and I know parenting is hard all around and there are lots of diff. opinions and the way people do things....I can see the other side of the coin though. I appreciate your input!
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Old 08-22-2008, 01:50 PM
 
5,273 posts, read 7,327,772 times
Reputation: 14925
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
Well, I would like to bring up my own personal experience as a child. Since we were a poor family, 3 adults, 2 children living in one bedroom apartment, I was sleeping with my mother until I was 5 and then with my grandmother in the same bed for many years, until I was I was 14. Believe me - by that time, I was dying to be in my own room. Yet, I'm a very independent person. It didn't affect me negatively in any way. My parents were married for 27 years and they would have still been married if my mother was alive. When I was about 15, I asked my mother a very personal question. I asked her if her and papa still get it on in the bedroom. My mom told me that their sex life just got better and better with age.

My son is 3 and sleeps next to us. We are planning to move to a bigger place by next spring. I will then introduce him to his own bed and see what happens. Generally I believe children grow out of cosleeping on their own.
that is totally cool max's mama!! I had no idea until I heard some people opening up here.. THANK YOU for being open and honest. I truly appreciate it......... that is cool!
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