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Ok, just have to put my two cents in. I just have to say that I can't believe this. There are starving children at this moment. There are children being abused at this moment. There are several missing kids and kidnapped children crying out of desperation at this moment.
My husband, myself, and my two children all sleep in our king bed (one bedroom apartment) and soon my son will be in his own bed. I look forward to it, but will not rush that. Instead I hold him tight, kiss his forehead, and think of how grateful I am that he is fed, healthy, happy, loved, safe, and then I pray for all the children that aren't. I don't waste my time putting down other mothers for raising their children differently. Breastfed, bottlefed, co-sleeping, baby in crib...are they fed? Are they healthy? Are they loved? That's what matters. As mothers let's support one another, not tear each other down.
I bf all my children and while I was bfing they slept with us, in order for me to get my rest and be able to take care of life without being sleep deprived. It worked well for us and our sex life didn't suffer at all. Now my all my 5 children sleep in their own beds and the are all healthy and normal sleepers. My oldest is 23 and the youngest is 7. It's what works for each family.
Why do you care so much what others do with their families? If it works for them, why not? There are times when my 4.5 year old is scared and she gets in bed with us. There are times when our 1 year old has a bad night, and she comes to bed with us. We co-slept for a year with the oldest because it was the only way we'd get any sleep. She just would not sleep in her own bed. Don't like it? Don't parent that way. Let others do what works for them.
Im a guy..my wife and I have been married 13 years..
we play musical beds at night..one had a nightmare..one needs a drink..i may end up on the couch, in the recliner..in the floor..i dont care..I have no problem getting up at night to let my daughter have "my spot" or whatever..its never been an issue. I never know when my oldest will be asleep in the floor beside our bed..so i make sure and look before I put my foot down-lol
So that's one possibility.....people need sleep at the rate they can attain it.
That is the heart of the matter! Who cares as long as you get sleep!
And actually, my husband and I don't sleep in the same bed, either. So you get a lot of points from me for being brave enough to say so. I don't even like admitting co-sleeping, much less the husband not in the same bed, because of people's attitude. I don't get much sleep, as my toddler still gets up twice at night (at least) to nurse. If I say this in the same conversation with our sleeping arrangments, I can just feel the negative comments coming. But, really, the situation we have has given us the most sleep above anything else.
Anyhow, the only time during the bed-sharing time with my hubby that we would have sex would be right before bed--the kids get up before us and I'm not waking up in the middle of the night for it! So we can be intimate before we go to bed and there isn't any difference. We don't cuddle at night, so that isn't lost.
when I come home from work at night my 2 yo daughter is usually in the bed with my wife. she has her own bed in her own room but she will not sleep in there. when she was a baby she slept in the bed with us until my wife recovered from a c section. after that she slept in her crib. when my younget son was born ( she was 1) we bought her a toddler bed and she will not sleep in it.
Co-sleeping is not something that would work for my family & I am the other extreme & used the cry it out method & that worked great for us. Some people think I am a criminal for CIO method, but it worked for us. Our 3yr old sleeps 11-12hrs/night through the night in his own bed. He wakes up ready to go every morning, usually with a big sleepy smile. Our 8 month old is getting weaned & learning that he's gotta figure out how to sleep, too. It's just how WE DECIDED to do it.
I, also, used the cry-it-out method with my 2nd child (now 9y/o). She slept with me for the first year because it felt right and I was nursing. It was soooo convenient! Then when she was a year old I decided it was time for her to sleep in the crib in her room. It was really really hard for the first 4 nights. Then it was great! She slept 12-13 hours a night and is still a great sleeper!!
Don't get me wrong. If my kids have a bad dream or something they come sleep with me. We do love to snuggle in my bed in the mornings!!
It is unhealthy for everyone all-around....what kind of marriage survives this behavior. I know a few people that do this and I want to strangle them lol! I have twins and couldn't imagine them sleeping with us in the same room, let alone same bed for the last 3 years!! NO WAY!!!!and others think it's OK!
Anyone else?
I don't know how anyone could do it that long and keep their sanity. My youngest 2 both had bad reflux problems in their first year. Because of this they couldn't take on much food at a time wich mean't that they had to be fed smaller amounts over shorter intervals. And also because of the anxiety from this they were able to sleep a lot better being near us. As soon as they were over this they got ejected from our bedroom and we finally got a decent nights sleep when they adapted to being put in their own beds at night.
Just chiming in as another whose kids co-slept up to age 3 or 4 and are just fine. It was easier for nighttime nursing, diaper changes, and we all got the most sleep that way. They are now 16, almost 11, and 5. All have their own rooms, all sleep fine in their own beds. My post will sound like all the others here in support of co-sleeping but yeah... if you think the bedroom is the only place to have sex, well I feel sorry for ya!
Another breastfeeding co-sleeper here. Actually, my daughter is 27 months and just this week has started sleeping all night by herself as I am night-weaning her (relating to my current pregnancy). Until she was 2, she started the night in her crib and I started the night with my husband. When she would wake in the night, I would bring her into the other bedroom and co-sleep with her there for the rest of the night. So I'm another one not sleeping with the hubby. He says he has a hard enough time sleeping when I'm in the bed, he can't do it with her in the bed too. When she was 2, we got her a big bed, and when she woke in the night I just went into her bed with her. Now we are night-weaning and she is still waking a few times at night, but I just go in and sit with her and she goes back to sleep and then I go back to my bed. You adapt to what is going on in your life. So, I'll get a few months of a break from co-sleeping and night-nursing, and then I get to start all over again!
I had a conversation once with someone from another country who remarked that she felt sad for American babies because not only do their parents not want them in the bed at night, they don't even want them in the same room. Be aware that co-sleeping is the norm in much of the world, and they think that children sleeping in a different room is weird.
Co-sleeping is also very common among breastfeeding families, even in America, because mom can get a lot more sleep that way!
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So we can be intimate before we go to bed and there isn't any difference. We don't cuddle at night, so that isn't lost.
