Is this an un-healthy situation? (daycare, babies, toddlers, toys)

[melbon7462]

My son is enrolled in a home daycare. I like the provider, she lives in a nice clean home in a safe neighborhood. These are some things I dont like and I wanted other peoples take on it:

1. He is the only boy. Three out of five children are 2 year old girls (the other two are babys). I just feel like he needs other boys to play with cars and trains, not strawberry shortcake

2. He is the oldest, so I feel like the activities are based on the younger childrens age group.

3. Two of the kids are the womans grandchildren, favortism when I am not there worries me.

I may be overeacting but I would love other parents views on the situation. Thamks so much.

[Sum1Else]

Always go with your gut feeling aka Mother's Intuition.

If you feel that your child needs different stimuli with similarly aged children, then find a child care that has what you are looking for. One would hope that the provider doesn't show favoritism to her grandchildren but it is definitely a possibility that it could happen.

I would talk to the provider about how your child does during a typical week. Does she see him keep to himself or play with others? Engage age appropriate activities? Does he tend to act out to get attention? Use these to temper your decision.

[melbon7462]

I know I feel stuck...We are moving in 7 months and I dont know if it would be worth it to change his daycare again for only a short period of time. AAAH whats a mother to do!! And also I have had that conversation with the provider and she states that he is a great kid and he plays well with others. I can say I know for a fact they do engage in 2 year old activities... but I guess if he is safe I shouldnt worry too much!

[hypocore]

How old is he? Unless he's 4 or older, I wouldn't think twice about any of the activites they are doing as they can easily fit differing ages. Things such as playdoh, painting and reading go for all ages. Of course if he is 4 or older and she isn't able to upgrade an activity to that of a 4 yr old or isn't providing him with an opportunity to do something geared towards Pre-K kids instead of Preschool kids, then I'd be asking for her to work with him on a different level.

Regarding the toys, have you seen what other kinds she has? In addition to the Strawberry Shortcake, does she have things non gender specific such as legos/duplos, lincoln logs, little people, blocks and puzzles?

For what it's worth....all the boys I have kept, including my own son, have loved to play with things that are 'home' related....stove/dishes/food, babies/strollers/clothes, vacuum/brooms and dress up. Besides seeing it in real life, what better way to nurture their future roles as spouses and fathers? I have one little guy(5) who loves Polly Pocket and neither of the school age girls will play with it unless he's gotten it out first. haha

Same goes for the girls. They play just as much with the cars, dinosaurs, dragons and
trains (geo trax for us!) My 10 yr old would love her room to be completely done in dragons!

[121804]

Originally Posted by melbon7462

I know I feel stuck...We are moving in 7 months and I dont know if it would be worth it to change his daycare again for only a short period of time. AAAH whats a mother to do!! And also I have had that conversation with the provider and she states that he is a great kid and he plays well with others. I can say I know for a fact they do engage in 2 year old activities... but I guess if he is safe I shouldnt worry too much!

No, it's not.

If your son is safe & secure & feels safe & secure, better to keep him at where he is until you move. Changing providers will only cause confusion & will take him time to adjust to the new provider. Just as he is adjusting to the new provider you are going to take him out to move, which in itself will be an adjustment to him.

Don't sweat the small stuff. He is not going to be permanently damaged by playing with Strawberry Shortcake for a few weeks If anything, this is a great introduction to him that the world does not revolve around him & that he will not get 24/7 attention all the time. It's not fair or healthy to overdo this concept, but it is also not healthy to make every situation condusive to his needs & wants.

I use to worry beyond worry about my son, friends & what he was/was not doing. BELIEVE ME, it all falls into place in a natural progression as it is meant to. If he was 13 & playing all day with toddlers & Strawberry Shortcake, then I'd worry, but what just take a step back, breathe, & realize he is ok.

[beanandpumpkin]

I'd leave him with the strawberry shortcake-playing 2-year-old girls in a loving daycare rather than uproot him for a few months. He'll have enough change going on when you do move... best to keep things constant for now. Usually, 2-year-olds don't really play along gender-specific lines... they mostly say "mine!" over ANY toy, be it trucks or dolls. You could always send him along with a few toys from home if it's that bothersome.

I agree with 121804... this is not a big deal, really. I'm a nervous worrier by nature, and I don't see this as worrisome.

[crazyme4878]

I would leave him as well. Especially if he seems happy. I'm guessing your son is 4 or 5. It is at this age that moving will start to matter to him. We moved when ours was 1.5 years--no problem. We moved when he was 3.5--he missed his friends and was a little confused, but overall was okay with it. Then we moved when he was 4, 4.5, and a little over 5 years old. It was much harder on him everytime we moved. So now I try to do everything I can to make it easier on him and I try to make the minimal changes for him.

I think switches daycares now and then again in 7 mo. is just too much. Obviously, if there was something really wrong, it would still be better to switch, but he will have enough changes coming up.

[*Danielle*]

IF you have that 'red flag' waving in your belly...go with it! *Something* is telling you to find new daycare...

[crazyma]

Is he happy? Does he seem to enjoy being there? Or is he always very upset and crying.
Like several of the others said, leave him there since you will be leaving anyway. One less disruption....

[BusySocialWorker]

If he is happy I would be very ok with it - I would worry more about additiona disrupption myself.