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Thread summary:

Parenting: councelling, children, teacher, psychologist, video games.

 
Old 09-09-2008, 02:56 PM
 
697 posts, read 2,009,497 times
Reputation: 382

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Take an honest look at the direction society is moving in, and then take a look at where it's been.

Take a quick assessment of your family, past and present generations.

Ok, now, why is society as a whole, so intent on insisting that children should be free to be themselves, then put so many restrictions on them that they are unable to be free to be themselves?

For example: Little Johnny (let's say 7 years old), wants something Little Suzie (again, 7 years old) has. So he takes it. In previous generations, whatever Johnny found so attractive that he had to have it, was simply taken from him, and given back to Suzie, then it was left up to them to find a way to get along. They are told to take it outside and play. Johnny goes one way, Suzie another once outside. Or at least something like that.

Now, Little Johnny gets a lecture on why he shouldn't take what Suzie has, how he should feel about taking it from someone who clearly was enjoying it, and how he made Suzie feel because of the loss. He is further lectured on what he should do about it (presumably give it back), and what his punishment should be as a result of his actions. He is told Suzie and all children are his friends, and they all should be nice to each other. They are taken to a psychologist to see what their problems are.

In previous generations, Johnny and Suzie learn how to resolve conflict by themselves, how to get along with others on THEIR terms, decide who their friends are on their own, etc..

Presently, they both need 'councelling' to discuss an issue to death, and get help in how to manage themselves. They think the whole world should just learn to get along, but don't have any idea on how to make that happen (in reality, it's impossible). They think they should be able to live at 'home' until they're 30. So much is done by parents to ensure Johnny and Suzie's success. It is suggested that their parents to take them to a psychologist to work out their 'problems'.

There are a million scenarios.

Past: Kids worked doing chores at home, because they lived there. Worked to earn any money they got. Learned how to manage their money and take care of things. Had very little material belongings. RESPONSIBILITY

Present: Kids may or may not do chores, but receive an allowance, or at least things they ask for or demand. Have a room full of video games, electronic playthings, etc..
ENTITLEMENT

You get the idea..

Tell me how today is better than yesterday.

(And yes, I am generalizing to an extent, but try to see past that.)
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Old 09-09-2008, 03:49 PM
 
Location: Chicago
2,467 posts, read 12,212,966 times
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No, you are really, really generalizing. How can you "see past that" when that's the whole basis for your argument? The truth is the majority of children who need counseling (not councelling) don't get it. How often do you really think that a situation like this turns to a psychologist? I'm a therapist and I haven't seen any "little Johnny's." Instead, I see children who really need help and who often have been struggling for years with real issues before they ever come to the attention of professionals. Children who have such bad anxiety that they puke and can't go to school...children who have been raped and have trouble dealing with it....children in foster care....children who's parents are going through a horrific divorce and they are severely depressed because they think it's their fault....children who have had both parents die and need to cope with it.... I have a major problem with drawing generalizations and trying to place more of a stigma on "councelling" than already exists.
There is a problem with a sense of entitlement now, however, this has nothing to do with counseling. This I do see...A LOT.... in my college aged students!
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Old 09-09-2008, 03:59 PM
 
697 posts, read 2,009,497 times
Reputation: 382
First, I am very ill with the flu, so my spelling or anything else, for that matter has been suffering greatly today.

Second, why do you think so many kids have such high anxiety? Why do SO MANY "really need help"?

You proved my point.
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Old 09-09-2008, 04:35 PM
 
5,340 posts, read 13,915,312 times
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I think kids really needed help in the past too 925, but no one got it for them. Trust me, by the number of ADULTS in therapy today I think it's safe to asses that there are a lot of people who had issue growing up that could have been handled better back in the day.

I agree generalizations are terrible.

"My" generation (I am in my late 30's and have school age children) of my family have issues that I think could be better with our kids - everyone does. But honnestly, our children have it BETTER than we did. We grew up in a time where you had to keep everything "quiet" there were horrible things happening is parts of our family (from parental alcoholism, spousal abuse and child abuse) and the kids were just ignored. It's hard enough for adults to deal with these things, but for little kids who don't understand or have not learned coping mechanisms yet, the results could be terrible. Not talking "little Johnny" stuff here.

On the other hand I do know that there are some parents who are too lenient and "new age-y" today. Where there is no control, bounderies or discipline - but it is far from ALL parents today.

I know in MY family the kids we have are doign a whole lot better than MY generation was when we were kids. If I want to take it back to my Mom's generation and how they were treated as kids...Oh, forget it...it reads like a Lifetime Movie!
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Old 09-09-2008, 09:02 PM
 
2,542 posts, read 6,889,374 times
Reputation: 2635
Quote:
Originally Posted by 925mine View Post
Tell me how today is better than yesterday.

Oh yes, the generation before was better than the one now, and the generation before that was better, and the generation before that was better....

We romanticize the past and fail to see the the negative of our own childhood.

I also just love how older generations love to berate younger ones, even though the older generations are directly responsible for raising the younger ones.
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Old 09-10-2008, 05:55 AM
 
Location: In a chartreuse microbus
3,863 posts, read 6,270,507 times
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From what I can tell, there are no absolutes anymore. When we were told something as children, that was it. There were no arguments as to why or why not. That was when parents had authority. We accepted it, period.
Now, everything is questioned by young minds that are not mature and have little life experience. Parents give in for the sake of temporary peace. As a result, many have no concept of reality.
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Old 09-10-2008, 07:56 AM
 
Location: Chicago
2,467 posts, read 12,212,966 times
Reputation: 897
Quote:
Originally Posted by 925mine View Post
First, I am very ill with the flu, so my spelling or anything else, for that matter has been suffering greatly today.

Second, why do you think so many kids have such high anxiety? Why do SO MANY "really need help"?

You proved my point.
How did I prove your point? You need to re-read my post and rethink the logic on that comment.

As others suggested, many kids who needed help in the past didn't get it. They aren't necessarily higher in numbers now, we just realize what is going on. This is true not only with children, but with adults. And I didn't say "so many really need help," but those children are out there and are largely underserved. AND having people make comments about how they think that's BS without understanding the issue, again, just promotes stigma that most parent and children already feel, which then prevents more children who actually need help from getting it!!!!!

And, again, having a sense of entitlement, etc is a totally seperate issue that has nothing to do with counseling. That is a real issue that does exist, but these children generally don't present for therapy.
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