Why are people SO obsessed with kids these days? (day care, lawsuit, divorce)
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This post isn't bashing kids, it's bashing adults' view of them, somewhat anyway, I'm happy kids are treated better and with higher regard now, but maybe it's too much. I'm 18, nearly a child myself, so the experience of BEING a kid is fresh on my mind.
Why are kids seen as sacred cows these days? Sure it's better than the days where they were to "be seen and not heard", but like everything else, we've swung a problem into the wrong direction to the point it's as big as a problem as what it's replaced.
The reason kids are so holy these days is because the current generation of parents grew up in the latch-key era where parents didn't really care about kids, and society looked down on them (70s and 80s).
These kids now have kids of their own, and because they feel empathy due to their own experiences, anything bad that happens to a child is a million times worse than anything that happens to an adult.
That's why in the past 20 years you'll hear news reports specify if anyone is a child in a disaster where multiple people die, like somehow an adult dying is far less tragic (it almost reminds me of "American deaths" ).
This explains why kids now are never let outside, why people have this idea that pedophiles are the only evil in this world and nothing else is even nearly as bad, why music is so kiddie, why adults try to look like kids, and why there's so many lawsuits in the name of kids.
Don't get me wrong, I'm NOT asking for the old days back, and I always hated when adults would say I'm stupid because I'm young, or say blowharded things like "I've been around the block a few times" or "you'll see when you're older", but it's gone too far.
People do way too many things for "the sake of the children" which really makes life for both us kids AND adults suck. We can't go outside, moms can't trust their kids' fathers, and the worst thing is that when we grow up we're told since we're no longer innocent we no longer matter as much as people who are still less than 18.
I agree Mimzy.
I've always wondered at what age life becomes less valuable.
The "it's the children" cry always irritates me.
Are not all humans as valuable?
This post isn't bashing kids, it's bashing adults' view of them, somewhat anyway, I'm happy kids are treated better and with higher regard now, but maybe it's too much. I'm 18, nearly a child myself, so the experience of BEING a kid is fresh on my mind.
Why are kids seen as sacred cows these days? Sure it's better than the days where they were to "be seen and not heard", but like everything else, we've swung a problem into the wrong direction to the point it's as big as a problem as what it's replaced.
The reason kids are so holy these days is because the current generation of parents grew up in the latch-key era where parents didn't really care about kids, and society looked down on them (70s and 80s).
These kids now have kids of their own, and because they feel empathy due to their own experiences, anything bad that happens to a child is a million times worse than anything that happens to an adult.
That's why in the past 20 years you'll hear news reports specify if anyone is a child in a disaster where multiple people die, like somehow an adult dying is far less tragic (it almost reminds me of "American deaths" ).
This explains why kids now are never let outside, why people have this idea that pedophiles are the only evil in this world and nothing else is even nearly as bad, why music is so kiddie, why adults try to look like kids, and why there's so many lawsuits in the name of kids.
Don't get me wrong, I'm NOT asking for the old days back, and I always hated when adults would say I'm stupid because I'm young, or say blowharded things like "I've been around the block a few times" or "you'll see when you're older", but it's gone too far.
People do way too many things for "the sake of the children" which really makes life for both us kids AND adults suck. We can't go outside, moms can't trust their kids' fathers, and the worst thing is that when we grow up we're told since we're no longer innocent we no longer matter as much as people who are still less than 18.
See what I'm on to?
From my observations I think there is a problem with the whole family unit, kids are simply the part that we see; where I have to agree that sometimes we do too much in the name of kids.
In my limited experience, when adults say that they have been around the block, or that you will understand when you're older or so on, they are right. I'm 25 now and I can tell you that from 18 until now was one hell of a learning curve and I really didn't understand things then that I do now, I really didn't know that much and I really was just as naive as my parents said I was. I'm not saying that's your case, just telling how it was for me. So the best I can say is that wisdom comes from the knowledge that you really don't know all that much. That isn't for just you or me, it's everyone on the planet.
But back to the family unit. Back in the day day care was nearly unheard of, but today both parents have to run run run, go go go a thousand miles per hour just to keep their heads above water. And quite frankly I think that any more kids take a back seat to mom and dad making money to buy cool ***** - In other words, the parents are so busy making money to pay off their subdivision house and live the cellophane lifestyle that kids just kind of go the wayside. to quote "What was a family, is now a shell - we're raising kids now, that raise themselves"
Then we figure in divorce rates and so on, it just isn't a pretty picture.
sorry for my rambling, I guess I could have just said what I meant to say in the first place... I can agree that the old "please think of the children" bit is pretty old and tired. Quite frankly I think that kids any more a day are a bunch of spoiled boobs.
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Children are more vulnerable therefore adults are more protective of them. Things are worse when they happen to kids because kids havent had a chance to grow up, fall in love, and basically experience many things and reach their potential. You've gotta stop holding their hand eventually and let them scratch up their knees. A lot of "it's for the kids" crap is taking advantage of adults love and/or good nature toward children.
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I think it's just the inevitable result of progress. When I grew up in the 50's and 60's it was a very different world in that people did not "know" what was going on in the world and were not "aware" of all the dangers and disasters. This is mainly now due to the media, TV, computers, etc...we know how many pedophiles are out there, we know when a group of kids is shot over in Iran, or how kids are starving in Africa. Years ago this information was not available. I think it has made us a bit paranoid.
And there are dangers now that were not around "back then". Internet porn and pedophilia is a huge danger now and very real. Drugs are an enormous problem now, highly obtainable and widely used (or at least tried) by kids. Gangs were once something you heard about in movies and stage plays but not a real part of life for most kids. Yeah, we had our "Fonzies" (my Fonzie was a guy named Ernie), and occasionally a teen would die in a car crash or such but it was not the norm. So...yes, Mimzy, things have really changed.
BUT, why do we as adults overreact now, with our kids and grand kids? Paranoia is contageous, we hear all the time through the media how dangerous it is "out there" and quite possibly there is a lot of guilt floating around. Feelings of guilt that generations of adults have somehow allowed the world to get the way it is...so we try to appease that guilt by protecting and spoiling our young. The life of a child is not more precious than the life of an adult...it is always tragic when a human dies too soon...but it does seem like such a waste when it is a death which could possibly have been prevented. And...in many cases children have no say in the matter.
But back to the family unit. Back in the day day care was nearly unheard of, but today both parents have to run run run, go go go a thousand miles per hour just to keep their heads above water. And quite frankly I think that any more kids take a back seat to mom and dad making money to buy cool ***** - In other words, the parents are so busy making money to pay off their subdivision house and live the cellophane lifestyle that kids just kind of go the wayside. to quote "What was a family, is now a shell - we're raising kids now, that raise themselves"
Then we figure in divorce rates and so on, it just isn't a pretty picture.
sorry for my rambling, I guess I could have just said what I meant to say in the first place... I can agree that the old "please think of the children" bit is pretty old and tired. Quite frankly I think that kids any more a day are a bunch of spoiled boobs.
You seem to be saying both that 1) parents are too busy these days to pay attention to their kids, and 2) that kids today are too spoiled. How do these fit together?
I think you're mashing a couple different generational attitudes together. THe latchkey kids are now Gen-X parents, who tend to value family a little higher and career a little lower than their Baby-Boomer predescessors.
The Boomer parents were the ones who started the "helicoptering" parenting - where they manage everything in their children's lives including their career choice, etc. It was on their watch that the tylenol murders in the late 70's happened, and when there was a lot more national coverage of child abductions, etc. That's when the world "became" a scarier place, and a lot of innocence was lost.
As we became more affluent as a society, as both parents returned to work, we started "investing" in our kids (music lessosn, the right sports, ACT training) to make sure they continued an upward trajectory in their lives. It is said that each generation wants their children to have more than their own. Now we are raising the first generation for which this may not be true.
I think that the Gen-X'ers (or the parents that follow them) will start to curb this overprotective trend as they age up and play an increasing role in city, school, and recreation planning, etc. There is a "back to natural" movement out there and it just needs time and some cultural support to get it rolling.
You seem to be saying both that 1) parents are too busy these days to pay attention to their kids, and 2) that kids today are too spoiled. How do these fit together?
I can't answer for the OP, but I can see where these two do walk hand in hand. Parents, especially moms, can go through so much guilt for not being home with their kids, that they over compensate by not being strict enough or purchasing too many toys/games/movies/gadgets/etc. They can also feel like on the weekend they have to leave their house and provide some form of entertainment.
So, it becomes a type of spoiling for the time not being able to spend with the kids. Did that make sense?
I can see where I did exactly what I posted above. Point is, I was a single mom and there were no other options, but I always wished I afford to be an at home mom. Instead, I bought them so much crap and let them get by with so many broken rules just so the time I did spend with them would be 'fun'.
You seem to be saying both that 1) parents are too busy these days to pay attention to their kids, and 2) that kids today are too spoiled. How do these fit together?
Easy. Don't have time to spend with you so I'll spend cash instead.
I look foward to the swing back from over-coddled, entitled, spoiled, "time-out" brats back to civic-minded, socially responsible, community-involved kids.
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