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Everyone's got opinions/advice and love to give it - but most don't like to hear it unless they agree with it. Goes on in every forum. Let's face it - I'm pretty sure there are people in the business/investing forum that have no business giving advice. Same goes for every forum.
Take what anyone says with a grain of salt. If someone says something that strikes a cord then great - if you think they are full of it, then just move on. You're better off not responding and letting things people say on the internet not get to you.
Frankly if we really want to get ultra picky, then even if you are a parent but only have tiny little ones, then you shouldn't give advice/opinion to someone asking a question about teenagers.....we could really get technical about things.
People see things from different perspectives. So you can read their perspective, shrug your shoulders and move on.
Just my opinions (Parent of a teen - if that matters!).
I have noticed that there are alot of members that don't have children who hang out on the Parenting Forum, kinda strange and creepy if you as me.
They give advice to parents, mostly telling them to keep the kids at home and how they should discipline their children when they are out in public, yet have no parental skills or even know what it is like to be a parent.
Am I the only one that feels this isn't right?
I read this forum because like to see how the future leaders of the world are being raised.
Sometimes I see this forum as a form of "birth control."
The view is always different when you're outside looking in.
If all parents had "parental skills" we wouldn't need this forum nor Child Protective Services, would we?
Yes! This really bothers me too! If you are only 18 years old and you don't have children, how can you possibly think it is appropriate to question the way other people parent!
Come back and talk to me after 12 hours of labor-- times four! I'll be happy to compare parenting notes and styles with you then!
I look at this in a completely different way. When an 18 year old cares enough to come to these sites, and participate, I applaud them provided they do it in a toughtful way.
I pay a lot of attention to those that young, particularly in the parenting and education areas, because they are just exiting that time on both counts, so can offer a perspective from 'the other side' of things in a unique way that the rest of us cannot realize.
I have noticed that there are alot of members that don't have children who hang out on the Parenting Forum, kinda strange and creepy if you as me.
They give advice to parents, mostly telling them to keep the kids at home and how they should discipline their children when they are out in public, yet have no parental skills or even know what it is like to be a parent.
Am I the only one that feels this isn't right?
Spot on.
I've had this discussion with friends who have kids and it drives us nuts to get advice or comments from people who do not have kids or don't foster parent.
If all parents had "parental skills" we wouldn't need this forum nor Child Protective Services, would we?
Don't have kids do you?
No one is born with the knowledge nor gains the knowledge to raise kids with the exception of those born into larger families or those with a long seperation between siblings. I do think that all religions give good advice on raising kids, but beyond that - you can only learn by talking to others and reflecting on your own experiences.
As for CPS, as a former foster parent, here is my take. Many people caught up in CPS' actions are not bad parents - they are usually drug addicts of some sort or people with psychological problems. This leads them to eventually losing the ability to care for their kids and the kids become neglected. The exceptions are pretty obvious - gross trauma to the kids, abuse, etc. With two exceptions out of 18, the kids I cared for were great kids and someone loved and cared for them pretty well for most of the time. ( The other two were abused and were horribly scarred as a result. )
Someone can be a great parent as long as they are sober, but get drunk once a year and lash out. And they can be a crappy parent and never give attention to their kids, but never touch them. There are all kids of parents.
By this logic, childless teachers, nannies, child psychologists, etc shouldn't give advice on raising children?? Sometimes these people can give more objective advice than parents & often they have more experience dealing with different types of children.
I would put nannies, especially those with their own kids, ahead of everyone except for actual parents. Teachers and Psychs see their charges in structured settings - they don't deal with them 24 x 7.
I've had this discussion with friends who have kids and it drives us nuts to get advice or comments from people who do not have kids or don't foster parent.
There are some 'parents' not qualified to raise a dog, much less a child.
To be a pediatrician, a pre-condition isn't to be a parent.
To be a child psychologist, a pre-condition isn't to be a parent.
To be a teacher, a pre-condition isn't to be a parent.
Etc.
So, my question is, if people without children can be EXCELLENT pediatricians, child psychologists, teachers, etc., without being parents, ....., are some of you saying that the qualifications to post in this forum are stricter? You must have parenting experience to have an opinion???
There is NOT ONE person on here who was a parent since birth. We were all without children, yet we had them and LEARNED AS WE WENT ALONG.
So what that everyone posting here isn't a parent. Doesn't bother me a bit.
But reading over all the posts here, it seems like the common conclusion is that most people don't mind non-parents posting here, that many can have a great contribution to give. However, the parent posters here seem to take exception to non-parents posting inflammatory posts (i.e. the "breeder" comment).
So I really don't see that there is an argument here anymore...
But reading over all the posts here, it seems like the common conclusion is that most people don't mind non-parents posting here, that many can have a great contribution to give. However, the parent posters here seem to take exception to non-parents posting inflammatory posts (i.e. the "breeder" comment).
So I really don't see that there is an argument here anymore...
Darn, I can't give you any more rep points right now.
You summarized it pretty well. We don't mind some objective advice from non-parents. Just don't think that you know what we're going through or criticize us when we are trying our best.
By this logic, childless teachers, nannies, child psychologists, etc shouldn't give advice on raising children?? Sometimes these people can give more objective advice than parents & often they have more experience dealing with different types of children.
Quote:
I do not have to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge to know that it is not a good idea. Most of us are surrounded by parents, people, children and child rearing every day (unfortunately), you would have not be blind, deaf and dumb to have have an objective opinion about it. I'm sure that lots of people have never been a candidate for the President of the United States, but plenty of them have opinions about that, including you, I'd wager.
Geekduo summed it up pretty well.
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(Parent of a teen - if that matters!).
