Attachment Parenting & Extended Breastfeeding (infant, average, toddlers, pregnancy)

[FarNorthDallas]

AP, I think, depends on the child to make the decision to end breastfeeding and end co-sleeping because they feel secure enough to seek independence.

I am here to tell you: Sometimes the child NEVER makes that decision!

[TouchOfWhimsy]

Really? Do you think that if allowed to continue, a 14 year old might continue to nurse? Would a 21 year old continue to crave sleeping with mom?

I think saying "never" is a little melodramatic, LOL.

You are right, though, in general theory, "AP" can mean letting the child wean when they're ready. In practice, though, many moms encourage the process along. I know I did, and most of my friends did at some point.... usually when the child was between 2 and 4 years of age. Still, nursing a two year old and especially a three year old tends to raise eyebrows among those not familiar with the practice.

[yodi]

Originally Posted by FarNorthDallas

AP, I think, depends on the child to make the decision to end breastfeeding and end co-sleeping because they feel secure enough to seek independence.

I am here to tell you: Sometimes the child NEVER makes that decision!

Really?

I've never met any adults or even any teenagers who still co-sleep with their parents and who are still breastfeeding. You know some?

[zonababe]

Originally Posted by yodi

Really?

I've never met any adults or even any teenagers who still co-sleep with their parents and who are still breastfeeding. You know some?

That borders on incest.

[b75]

Yeah they wind up bringing you to the prom or college!

Originally Posted by FarNorthDallas

AP, I think, depends on the child to make the decision to end breastfeeding and end co-sleeping because they feel secure enough to seek independence.

I am here to tell you: Sometimes the child NEVER makes that decision!

[#Littledog]

I didn't watch the videos but I think the best resource for attachment parenting is Dr. Sears. The Sears website gives good insight into AP techniques. We've sprinkled in attachment parenting with our kids but we pick and choose what works for us and the temperament of our children. There is no "formula" for attachment parenting but it promotes a highly sensitive and responsive parenting. I don't think attachment parenting involves loose discipline but I think some people who embrace this philosophy have misinterpreted the approach and it can backfire, just like any other parenting technique. Dr. Sears published an excellent book on discipline and by no means does it suggest that kids get to run the house. There are other attachment parenting resources that I think do get a little too soft on the discipline-letting the child take too much of the lead. I don't agree with this approach at all-I think children are happiest when they have consistent boundaries.

We held our babies a lot, let them sleep in our bed, breastfed (but I gradually weaned them a little after a year-just my personal preference), and made a lot of financial sacrifices so we could be home with them as much as possible. This style of parenting just comes more naturally to us-I can't say for sure that it's better than how other people want to parent. It just works for our family. I don't think AP encourages overly dependent children unless parents fail to recognize the signs that a child is ready for more independence. AP is also about balance.

[crazyme4878]

Originally Posted by beanandpumpkin

Oh yeah, nursing through toddlerhood is so much more than just providing milk! I remember the moms at the rec center once being amazed after my daughter fell down and split her lip and was up playing again in under 2 minutes. It took just a minute of having "nonnies" to calm her down enough for me to clean up her lip with no tears, and the crisis was over. Mommy milk is a special sort of magic during the terrible twos, that's for sure!

I like that--Mommy milk magic! My son's first reaction after getting hurt is to run to the milk, and yes, a minute or two later, all is well.

One of my doctors (in a podunk, out-of-the-way town even) said that some cultures even breastfeed until 15. Don't know which one(s), just thought I would throw that in there.

I support nursing as long as the individual family wants to, but I also believe that arguements for or against should revolve mostly around the culture we live in.

[FarNorthDallas]

Originally Posted by yodi

Really?

I've never met any adults or even any teenagers who still co-sleep with their parents and who are still breastfeeding. You know some?

Yes, mine. I had to force him out of my bed when puberty hit. It was ridiculous. He never made his own decision to move to his own bed. I gave up breast feeding after 2 weeks though. I did not care for that at all.

I have a relative who was using AP at around the same time I was when our kids were born. We both had Dr. Sears' book. My relative went on to have 8 more kids and gave up AP after the 3rd one after she saw that not all kids make the move to independence on their own and AP is very demanding on the mom. It's better for all involved to train them to sleep alone, train them to sit alone without getting upset, have them eat on some sort of schedule, teach them how to wait. We laugh now in a "what were we thinking" sort of way. You can bond just fine with your children without all of that intensity.

[121804]

Originally Posted by yodi

Really?

I've never met any adults or even any teenagers who still co-sleep with their parents and who are still breastfeeding. You know some?

The year I taught 4th grade, I had a student who coslept with his parents along with his sister who was in 7th grade. They were very open about the topic as the children had their own rooms & beds, but the family found it beneficial for everyone to sleep together.

I found it to be a tad bit disturbing.

The parents volunteered every day as they did not feel comfortable leaving their children for extended periods of time. The mom also was on a hunt to get any Halloween parties cancelled,etc as it was the celebration of "witchery".

A very extreme family nonetheless & not a common one at that, but they did talk about cosleeping & openly at several PTO meetings....

Let's keep in mind that in some areas of this world (and maybe right in your own neighborhood), there is only one bed for the family & everyone sleeps together

[yodi]

Originally Posted by FarNorthDallas

Yes, mine. I had to force him out of my bed when puberty hit. It was ridiculous. He never made his own decision to move to his own bed.

Yeah, I would be wanting mine out before puberty too. My toddler is a bed hog so I can only imagine trying to sleep with a pre-teen in bed too, that'd be a little bit too much for me too.