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It was as soon as we started going to church, which was about 2 years ago.
It's my fault I didn't raise them with any religion.
Fault??! Please. I decided what my beliefs (and disbeliefs) were when I was MUCH younger than your kids. Chances are, they just don't believe like you do and nothing you do will change that. Just raise them to be responsible, caring people and let them decide for themselves what their beliefs are. Not everybody likes the Kool-Aid and the more you try to cram it down their throats, the more they will resist.
It sounds to me, from several of your posts that you aren't firmly attached to a particular religion, just want the idea of religion/spirituality to be in your lives.
Based on that, here is what I suggest, taking into account the ages of your children.
Take them to a different denominational church each month. Make it a project. Have them research each religion as you go. Maybe you will all find one that is a better fit for you. If nothing else, they will be more knowledgeable about the beliefs of those in your community.
I've actually tried that in the beginning. They liked this particular church the best because more of their friends attended. I think they're just not used to sitting for that long. Also, i'll add that I need to get familiarized more with the children's mistry so I can get them a little more involved and get a better opinion from them. Maybe if I tried a few more times, they'll get a different perspective.
One particular church we went to was very loud, and it kind of scared all of us. People were dropping all over the place and yelling. It was just too much for us, but I can respect their beliefs.
We do practice religion at home. We attend church weekly, although our children are currently in the nursery. We pray before meals, and before bedtime. And we have a couple of bible story books in our kids' repertoire. This will be the first year I will put out a nativity set.
When my husband and I were growing up religion was practiced in the home, although not as regularly in my husband's home. So he stopped going to church for a while as an adult. Before we got married he agreed that if we wanted our children to grow up with a faith practice we had to do it consistently from the beginning, and we had to be in agreement as to what we were going to to.
But, because I was raised in church and learned things like the 10 Commandments, my consciounce tells me if i am about to do something that I know is wrong. Church will give your kids a good moral compass. it is up to them to use the compass but at least you will know that you have given them a compass. Right?
I think the best moral compass in the world is a parent and their example. Pointing things out you see others doing and how you feel about it. A church is not required in order for that to be instilled. There are many who go to church that seem to have no moral compass at all.
My husband and I grew up in an extreme church. I now consider myself an atheist - but we have always told our son (now 15) to figure things out for himself. To investigate different beliefs and to come to his own conclusions and to respect others for whatever conclusions they have to come to - whether you agree with them or not.
Leilan, it sounds like you have found something to give you a lot of comfort right now and a feeling of belonging and you are wanting the same for your kids. But that might just not be for them at this time. If it's something they want to seek out then they will or they won't.
Ms. Leilani,
You are not wrong! Even if your kids dont become seriously devout adults, they will take with them into adulthood a sense of right and wrong. I am not the most religious person in the world. But, because I was raised in church and learned things like the 10 Commandments, my consciounce tells me if i am about to do something that I know is wrong. Church will give your kids a good moral compass. it is up to them to use the compass but at least you will know that you have given them a compass. Right?
I totally agree with that, and it's partly why we take our boys to church.
Have you tried taking a different approach with your religious beliefs? Instead of sitting through Church and then going to Denny's and soccer practice, sit your kids down and talk about the sermon and the readings after the service.
Ask them what they thought of the teachings, do they apply to today's lifestyles? Are they related to current events? How do the readings relate to the sermon? Why did the pastor choose this topic?
Your kids sound like they're old enough to have these discussions. But falling asleep and complaining about going to the bathroom during a 1-2 hour service? I thought I misread when you said they were 14 and 16 years old, sounds more like 4 and 6 years old. I can't imagine you would let them get away with that during a school function or something similar.
I go to a UU church and I bring my daughter with me. My husband stays home. Right now, we sit in what the church calls the "chapel" but what many of us call the "baby room" - a room in the back with windows to see into the sanctuary and the sound piped in. The children are free to sit on the floor and play with their toys while the adults can tend to their needs and listen to the service at the same time. We also have a nursery for those who prefer it.
Once my daughter turns 3, Sunday school starts and she'll go there during service and learn some little lesson and make some craft. The kids sometimes join the adults in services, or sometimes just for the first part of the service, but they generally have their own activities during that time instead. Even the teens have their own class to go to, and they seem to prefer it to sitting with their parents.
I anticipate that my daughter might decide at some point that she'd rather stay home with my husband instead of come to church with me, and I think that will be fine if that's her choice. I hope that she enjoys coming with me, but maybe she won't and I can't see forcing her.
I grew up in a preacher's family so yes we went regularly. We did the normal teenage thing like rebeling.
At 18 we were no longer required to go.
There were 4 of us and religion itself didn't scar us for life because nothing was "crammed" down our throats. It was put out there for our information to process as we saw fit. The concept of the so called "leaders" of the Church did.
My sister now is very devout.
My brother goes to Church but is like me in the take or leave it category.
My younger brother converted to Judism.
Me? I've got a good relationship with God but I don't go to church for other reasons.
Give your kids a chance. While it is kinda late in life to expose them to organized religion, they've only just begun. Don't force them to go, that would be a major mistake. Let them hang with their friends at church.
It's not cool to have to sit with the dreaded parental figure in front of others
I'm just curious. Does anyone here practice faithful religion at home?
Growing up, we weren't religious at all. I found a non-denominational christian church a year ago. We joined as a family, but i don't go as much as I used to. I was even baptized.
I'm really considering on trying to get there every sunday, but the kids don't want to go at all. The last time we went, my son was sleeping in his chair, and my daughter kept saying how much they had to use the bathroom (14 & 16 yo).
I know it's partially my fault for not getting them involved sooner. I know that if they would have been used to going since they were younger, they'd be more willing to participate.
Just curious to see what other's views are.
Growing up Christian, I was always surrounded by spirituality. We were actively involved w/our congregation, rarely missed congregation meetings, and studied the bible together as a family. I feel very very close to God for this reason and so it was inevitable that I try to train my children to feel that same close relationship w/ their creator. We try to read the bible daily and we have a special bible study w/ our kids once a week, using different bible study aids. We also go out in a ministry w/ our kids weekly. They love it and they are eager to share their faith w/ others.
This is just our routine and I know alot of people would feel like it's overkill. But the way I look at it, they have hours and hours a day of negativity and cynicism from schoolmates, television, etc. Devoting a small portion of each day to spiritual things helps counter-act that.
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