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Gee, when I was a kid I could sit quietly through horrendous church services too, because the alternative was a beating with a ruler or belt.
Sorry to hear that...it's quite possible and do-able to teach the kids to sit quietly without use of those methods. Also, we don't consider church services 'horrendous'-if we went to one that we thought was, we'd decide that it wasn't the right church for us, and go elsewhere.
Bottom line is, kids often enjoy church-given time to get used to it, and encouragement from parents. It can be a learning experience for the whole family.
My kids usually go to Jr. Church, but at times they have had to sit quietly for an hour of church. I don't see what the big deal is. My own kids don't go to school, but kids in school are expected to sit quietly for 6+ hours listening to a teacher talk about things that they may or may not be interested in. Why is it such a problem to expect kids to sit for one hour? If my own kids sit with us and are not interested, they can color on the bulletin or whatever... there are definitely no beatings or threats going on. They sit because we expect them to. *shrug*
Sorry to hear that...it's quite possible and do-able to teach the kids to sit quietly without use of those methods. Also, we don't consider church services 'horrendous'-if we went to one that we thought was, we'd decide that it wasn't the right church for us, and go elsewhere.
Bottom line is, kids often enjoy church-given time to get used to it, and encouragement from parents. It can be a learning experience for the whole family.
I went to church services at least three times a week (sometimes more) until I was 18 years old. Funny that I cannot recall even one single service that I enjoyed and wasn't bored to tears. Church/religion is NOT for everyone, and forcing it on a kid that doesn't want to go and doesn't have any interest in it is sheer torture for the kid.
I'm sorry that you had such a horrendous church experience growing up, Sususushi. I have never visited a church that was tortuous for my children... we go once per week to regular church (they go to the children's program 90% of the time), and we go to a weekly Bible study which they love and that they look forward to all week long (they are in with kids their own respective ages, and the adults meet separately). Learning about God should not be torture. The church you went to sounds terrible, but most churches are not like that at all!
Bottom line is, kids often enjoy church-given time to get used to it, and encouragement from parents. It can be a learning experience for the whole family.
I have a very spirited, energetic, loving life & people 3yr old son. Of all places, he behaves exceptionally well in church (we are Roman Cath so our services are about 45 mins), "reads" the hymnal, sings & loves whenever the word "amen" is said. Right now, he is very interested in Jesus & his mommy & asks all sorts of questions.
We have never beaten him, threatened him, yelled at him, or even forced him to sit. If he started acting up (which he has done), either my dh or myself take him to the back & we find a corner he can stand in. He is aware of how he is to behave in church (No yelling or running. He can move around to an extent & look around) When he was a baby, we'd just go in the back & hold him.
It's been gradual & over time, it has gotten smoother. I am amazed b/c he is such high energy and yet at church he almost seems mesmerized by the music & overall atmosphere.
Right now, we attend a Mommy & Me class at the church school. One day we were driving by & he said he wanted to go school. I told him it was closed (it was) & that caused a major crying spell as he wanted to go to school. It's so simplistic & innocent & I feel blessed my child has this opportunity to learn about Christianity in a healthy & normal way.
Come the later years I am sure we will run into some issues or maybe not. And we will handle them at that time in a way that works for our family & beliefs.
Right now though, it has been a very positive experience & one that really means a lot to our family. It's taken time & patience for both him & our family.
It depends on the parents' beliefs & their value system. Every parent views it differently & handles it differently. Unless you are in that family, judging them & putting them down is ignorant & intolerant. We all have our stories & situations. Respect is a nice thing to show.
We never went to church but the man who raised me had the traditional "catholic ideals" (the not very nice ones I might add) and was sure to force them on everyone who lived in his home. I hated it (and him)
My own kids don't go to school, but kids in school are expected to sit quietly for 6+ hours listening to a teacher talk about things that they may or may not be interested in.
6+ hours sitting quietly in public school? Not in any that my son has been in (he's in high school now).
Is it possible to be 14 and 16 and sitting quietly in church for an hour? Absolutely (growing up our services were at least 2....). But at that age, if you can't suddenly make them be interested in it or want to listen or care. Yes, they can be asked to be respectful, etc. But if right now, at that stage if they are showing no interest at all, I think it's doing more harm than good in the long run. They are at an age where if they are ready or wanting to find "religion" they can make that choice.
I realize that's hard for very devout parents to consider - that maybe their kids won't follow the same path. But you have to be open to it or risk relationships later on - trust me on that one.
At my church we don't expect the kids to sit quietly during services. They go to their Sunday school classes while the adults go to service. That way they get to learn about religion in an age-appropriate setting with their peers. I think the adult services would typically be way over their heads anyway, hence the boredom often described.
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