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Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
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I'd definitely have a problem with a parent touching my kid. As far as people I don't know trying to parent my kids: generally hasn't been an issue for me b/c my kids are well-behaved. But they have always been taught to walk away and tell the adult respectfully "If you have a problem with me or my behavior, talk to my mom". Quite frankly, I'm just not going to let another adult parent my kids. No way. Luckily, it hasn't been an issue for me.
As far as the pizza parlor: I probably would've let it pass. It's a buffet. 5 year old boys tend to be impetuous/impatient and we all tend to be imperfect. Heck, knowing me, I'd probably have helped the kid get the food on his plate. That just wouldn't have been a big deal to me.
Location: In my own little corner... sittin' in Jax FL
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mrstewart
so, you just redirected the hand of the child? Heck, i don't give a rip about that. if you see my kids doing something like that, grab 'em by the ear and bring them to me:d:d
I WANT people to tell my child to behave of they are acting innappropriately! This is how we keep children safe if, for some reason, the parents are not watching.
I have several children and have never had to deal with this (YET!) because I like to think I run a tight ship, but if one of them acted in an innappropriate way I would want someone to say somethng to my children and to me... no problem with it.
And if someone has a problem with me saying something to a child who is acting in a way less than fitting for the situation, then they should watch their kids closer and that problem will never arise again.
I'd definitely have a problem with a parent touching my kid. As far as people I don't know trying to parent my kids: generally hasn't been an issue for me b/c my kids are well-behaved. But they have always been taught to walk away and tell the adult respectfully "If you have a problem with me or my behavior, talk to my mom". Quite frankly, I'm just not going to let another adult parent my kids. No way. Luckily, it hasn't been an issue for me.
As far as the pizza parlor: I probably would've let it pass. It's a buffet. 5 year old boys tend to be impetuous/impatient and we all tend to be imperfect. Heck, knowing me, I'd probably have helped the kid get the food on his plate. That just wouldn't have been a big deal to me.
Well I guess that's just where I differ from the opinions of others... I don't think 5 year old boys, by nature of being boys, get special passes on rudeness. Yes, they are more prone to being physical, bouncy, impatient... so we work harder to teach them to chill and develop social skills (like waiting their turn).
Cutting in line is one thing, they cut in front all the time at the buffet. I roll my eyes a bit and ignore it. It was the push/squeeze/grab thing, and I was trying to handle a tray full of food plus keep an eye on my own 5 yo wanting to carry her own thing w/o spilling.
In the past I have asked, when a kid was either looking lost OR running wild and running into me in a store and I get a blank stare or "I don't know". That's sad.
I have 2 boys as well, and I guess my whole point here is that they would never have done this, period, after age 3 or so. Again, they are far from perfect, but I guess it's because before we went into any public place they got a "talk" about what was expected and they knew if they pulled anything we'd leave on the spot.
The whole bigger issue, really, (to me) is the parents. The kid is a kid, I'm not saying he needs a "whoopin'" or anything. Of course he should have had gentle instruction in this sort of thing from the start...
But the parents... Where were they? Why is their kid getting hot food all alone? Why aren't they watching? What if I wasn't another mom, but some creep who noticed "Hey, a 5 year old, unsupervised!" and had sick intentions?
I've experienced someone "saying something" to my kids when it was NOT called for. My boys were in a McDonald's bathroom, talking about some video game and how you can blow up the fort or whatever. Some adult male overheard them and proceeded to lecture them about "talking about bombs", told them he was with the FBI and they'd be arrested as terrorists if they talked like that!?
Obviously he was a nutjob. The kids were with my mom and they didn't mention it to her until they were in the car so she didn't see the guy or she would have confronted him... but that's obviously not the same thing here.
Anyway, the post was partially about the pizza place, yes, but overall it's way more to it than that. I'm just noticing that I see it EVERYWHERE I go and I wonder what is going on with parents today who think it's okay to let kids run, scream, cuss, push, etc., in public.
We take our kids to the buffet sometimes. I can't believe all the kids that are unsupervised getting food. Using their hands in the food, trying something and putting it back, I even saw a kid drop something on the floor, then pick it up and put it back!! Gross!
My kids go up alone (ages 9-11) but I am watching from my chair and will get up if they forget their manners! It hasn't been an issue. We stayed with them and taught them how to act before we let them do it alone.
I just use a slightly gruff "Hey!" That'll get there attention. If junior wants to cry and tell mommy and daddy let him. I'll tell them a thing or two about not watching sonny any better. I'll spar. Thats gotten to be the trouble with the world today, no one wants to speak up. Were so afraid of everything. I for one am tired of it.
The bigger problem is not parents who are trying and having difficulty... what I see is parents who don't give a darn and don't try at all to mold behavior in ANY way.
So, really, it's not the kids. And let's think age appropriate here. There comes a time when it's no longer parents to blame but the child purposely being a handful or causing a commotion b/c it gets negative attention.
The parents have given up. It's too hard. Life is too hard; too expensive; too overwhelming, you name it...kids are demanding; take up time & patience & energy. Work stinks if they have a job or how long are they going to have a job. Life's tough & having kids is making it tougher.
That's my take on it.
It's not right. The children did not asked to be brought into this world.
It is scary at times to see the things we all are seeing in common gathering places.
I can only hope that my dh & I are not messing up too bad raising two boys. I would only hope someone would tell me if my child decided to be a menace or was causing an issue...believe me, there would be consequences...but, for some reason, we do not have many issues in public probably b/c we talk about behavior prior to getting out of the car or such. We went to the library this afternoon. Before we go in, I get down to my 3yr old's level, look him in the eye, & we go over how to behave in the library.
Parenting is work. I think some parents just were not aware of just what sort of work it was or they have just given up based on circumstances in their lives. It's sad for both parent & child.
Fierce_Flawless did not hit, kick, spank, push or in any other way assault the child...she simply removed his grubby little paws...sounds reasonable to me.
I agree! I would seriously have a problem with any adult who put their hands on my kid for any reason. I am not excusing the child's behavior, but he is the child in the situation and I think your response was just as rude as his behavior.
I figure they were not being ugly, they were not being mean. Just removing little hands where they shouldn't have been. I think it is totally different if they had "touched" junior in a manner that was agressive or pushed him out of the way or something like that. Reminding him to stay in his place in line is MINOR to me. But then again this wouldn't happen to my children, I didn't let them go to a buffett until they were 10 alone, and even now I will be WATCHING. And they know it. If someone sees my child doing something inappropriate, please let me know. Earlobe is optional.
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:d:d
