Breastfeeding Older Children (grow up, American, teach, moms)

[dreamsncharms]

Originally Posted by ADVentive

La Leche League encourages mothers to continue to breastfeed ideally until the baby outgrows the need. Breastfeeding is a relationship between two human beings and, as in any relationship, there is give and take. THE WOMANLY ART OF BREASTFEEDING does not set rules about how long to breastfeed, but it does suggest that weaning is best done "gradually, with love" for both the mother's and baby's sake. Weaning is a personal decision made by the mother with the baby's and her own needs in mind.
LLLI | Weaning as a Natural Process

I notice how they say BABY and not CHILD. Just an observation

[ADVentive]

Originally Posted by ryane06

Wow, when I had children I planned on breastfeeding till they were 6 months to 8 months and I thought that was long as it is. I can't imagine breastfeeding after they were one, my nipples would fall off!

When I had my daughter I planned on nursing her for 6 months too. I thought "that's what people do". And yet, here I am nursing a 2.5 year old! Things don't always turn out the way you planned!

[ADVentive]

Originally Posted by dreamsncharms

I notice how they say BABY and not CHILD. Just an observation

Sorry, but there is no way that you can argue that LLL is in any way opposed to nursing toddlers or older children. "Baby" in this case is a term of convenience, as it is in many of my own posts.

[121804]

No one on here has nursed an 8 yr old.

Once someone has, I think they can defend the position on a educated platform seeing they have actually done what so many are saying completely ok or completely not ok.

Until then, this is US society & it is what it is...sorry, but there isn't breastfeeding time at our local elementary school for moms to come in & nurse their 2nd grader.

There are reasons for this that go beyond people feeling "uncomfortable".

IMO, if there was true nutrional value & more importantly, need, it would be an accepted practice.

So, when does it stop...14, 15, 18?

[ryane06]

Originally Posted by ADVentive

When I had my daughter I planned on nursing her for 6 months too. I thought "that's what people do". And yet, here I am nursing a 2.5 year old! Things don't always turn out the way you planned!

lol yeah I might say that now but then again I might not even be able to produce that long so I dunno what will happen but I would feel weird breastfeeding someone that can talk to me.

[ADVentive]

Originally Posted by 121804

No one on here has nursed an 8 yr old.

Once someone has, I think they can defend the position on a educated platform seeing they have actually done what so many are saying completely ok or completely not ok.

In that case, you could just as easily argue that you are not qualified to criticize it either until you've done it. I don't think that's a valid argument.

Until then, this is US society & it is what it is...sorry, but there isn't breastfeeding time at our local elementary school for moms to come in & nurse their 2nd grader.

I know that you are intending to be facetious here, but even if all 8 year olds were still nursing (and we've already established that very few would be as it is the far side of the bell curve anyway), there would still be no need for such a thing because most older children only nurse once a day or so or even once a week or less, and it's typically surrounding sleep, which is at home.

Even so, just because most people in society do things a certain way, certainly does not mean that everyone should be obligated to follow. For example, most people in my city are a certain religion, which I am not. That doesn't mean I should convert so that my child conforms to her classmates! Nor does it mean that one should feel free to criticize our family because we do things a little differently from most others in "US society" in that respect.

There are reasons for this that go beyond people feeling "uncomfortable".

IMO, if there was true nutrional value & more importantly, need, it would be an accepted practice.

I think we've been through this already regarding the nutritional value, so I won't repeat myself here. But as far as the assumption that if it had value, then it would be accepted, I think that is totally untrue. Just look at breastfeeding rates for even young babies and you will see that they are low. Look at the criticism people get for nursing even young babies in public, regardless of how nutritious and necessary it is.

[121804]

Originally Posted by ADVentive

I think we've been through this already regarding the nutritional value, so I won't repeat myself here. But as far as the assumption that if it had value, then it would be accepted, I think that is totally untrue. Just look at breastfeeding rates for even young babies and you will see that they are low. Look at the criticism people get for nursing even young babies in public, regardless of how nutritious and necessary it is.

I believe most who get criticized are based on the manner in which they decide to publicly breastfeed.
I've breastfeed in public situations many times but did it in a manner that was respectful to myself, my child & those around me. I've breastfeed on an airplane which is about as close to comfort as it can get Again, in manner that had dignity.

But some moms go out there to make a point in manner that is overbearing & self-righteous.

Breastfeeding rates are dependent on many more factors than social acceptance. I could go on & list but I know you are aware that there are many reasons a mom may chose to use formula. And I am sure you know, as I know I do, many moms who wished they could be breastfeeding but circumstances dictated otherwise.

There is a time when a child needs to start being able to be self-sufficient. I find that nursing an elementary child to be extremely confusing. And they do talk about everything that goes on at home...I had students tell me absolutely everything & then some to the point of where I had to tell them that there were certain things they could not tell me b/c it was going beyond the scope of a conversation a teacher & student should be speaking. They are looking for acceptance from their peers. And to a certain extent I believe that is very healthy & necessary to properly enter the teenage years.

Breastfeeding is an amazing & wonderful thing for many women & their children. I think we all go through a little withdrawal those first few days that we stop b/c that emotional bond has changed.

But in this society it is vital that parents give their children the tools necessary to survive. I do not believe that breastfeeding an 8yr old is a mentally healthy choice.

Just my opinion.

[ADVentive]

Originally Posted by 121804

I believe most who get criticized are based on the manner in which they decide to publicly breastfeed.
I've breastfeed in public situations many times but did it in a manner that was respectful to myself, my child & those around me. I've breastfeed on an airplane which is about as close to comfort as it can get Again, in manner that had dignity.

But some moms go out there to make a point in manner that is overbearing & self-righteous.

Breastfeeding rates are dependent on many more factors than social acceptance. I could go on & list but I know you are aware that there are many reasons a mom may chose to use formula. And I am sure you know, as I know I do, many moms who wished they could be breastfeeding but circumstances dictated otherwise.

There is a time when a child needs to start being able to be self-sufficient. I find that nursing an elementary child to be extremely confusing. And they do talk about everything that goes on at home...I had students tell me absolutely everything & then some to the point of where I had to tell them that there were certain things they could not tell me b/c it was going beyond the scope of a conversation a teacher & student should be speaking. They are looking for acceptance from their peers. And to a certain extent I believe that is very healthy & necessary to properly enter the teenage years.

Breastfeeding is an amazing & wonderful thing for many women & their children. I think we all go through a little withdrawal those first few days that we stop b/c that emotional bond has changed.

But in this society it is vital that parents give their children the tools necessary to survive. I do not believe that breastfeeding an 8yr old is a mentally healthy choice.

Just my opinion.

I understand where you are coming from, and I just want to say that I strongly disagree with your assessment that most criticisms of moms nursing in public are due to "the manner in which they decide to publicly breastfeed". Having personally been criticized myself when I was being perfectly discreet, and having heard many, many stories from and news reports about moms who have also been through this, I think that this is completely untrue. I will agree though that it is a common misperception. But, that is a WHOLE other thread.

I also want to add though that I have read, and I don't have time to find a source now, that fear of criticism and nursing in public is very high on the list of reasons mothers choose to wean or not to breastfeed at all. So I do think that societal approval is relevant to a discussion of breastfeeding rates, which is relevant to your point of whether something beneficial/needed is necessarily approved by society.

[121804]

Originally Posted by ADVentive

I also want to add though that I have read, and I don't have time to find a source now, that fear of criticism and nursing in public is very high on the list of reasons mothers choose to wean or not to breastfeed at all. So I do think that societal approval is relevant to a discussion of breastfeeding rates, which is relevant to your point of whether something beneficial/needed is necessarily approved by society.

Publicly nursing an infant is percieved differently than publicly nursing a 4yr old or 8 yr old....

I've yet to ever see an 8yr old being nursed in public but I've seen many an infant & never batted an eye.

Do I think there is a possible bais? Sure. Do I hold that bais? Yes, based on the belief that nursing an 8yr old has issues that are not along the same line of nursing an infant or young toddler.

[yodi]

Originally Posted by ADVentive

I also want to add though that I have read, and I don't have time to find a source now, that fear of criticism and nursing in public is very high on the list of reasons mothers choose to wean or not to breastfeed at all. So I do think that societal approval is relevant to a discussion of breastfeeding rates, which is relevant to your point of whether something beneficial/needed is necessarily approved by society.

Thank you for bringing this up. In the beginning I was very nervous about breastfeeding in public. I didn't really go anywhere the first month of my daughter's life because at first, nursing was clumsy and I was afraid that I'd accidentally flash people or get stared at or commented on. I finally found the courage to do it but it wasn't easy. My daughter was never comfortable nursing under a blanket and she would always rip the blanket off so I had to learn quickly to be discreet without a blanket covering us both up. It was tricky and I felt uncomfortable at times. During that first month I could totally understand why many women end up not breastfeeding at all for that reason alone.

I also didn't have the support of my in-laws who live nearby. They are all proud formula feeders. I could tell they were uncomfortable with me nursing around them by their comments, actions and looks so I'd end up nursing my baby in the other room. Nursing in another room is so isolating and kind of depressing. I'm glad I made it through and now when I see women nursing their babies out and about I always make a point to smile at them.

Now that my girl is older I've chosen to only nurse her when we are at home. Only a few people know that we are still nursing and some of these people think it's weird while others are very supportive. I wish that society was more understanding and supportive of breastfeeding in general.