Breastfeeding Older Children (legal, newborn, mature, raise)

[2girlsand2boys]

Originally Posted by intrepidcommentator

I see that I have entered this converstation a little bit late. It was difficult to post an opinion when there was heated debates regarding other things besides the topic at hand.

I came to this forum to find answers, but it looks like I have formed an opinion of my own. I have two children with whom I was too afraid of breastfeeding past the age of 1 year old since they did develope teeth and to me, this was a strong indication that they are capable of supplementing breastmilk with solid foods. I find that many of the links provided in this forum were helpful in making me feel less ashamed of stopping breast feeding at such an early age since it's not physically harmful to the child nor is it mentally harmful as well.

I will share a personal experience with you that made me cautious when choosing breastfeeding over formula. My younger sister was breastfed until she was seven years old. She was breastfed daily. When she went to kindergarten she was never social with the other children and she was often picked on for being breastfed, because my sister would try to share her personal experiences about her types of food. When at school she was asked what was her favorite food, she said, of course, "breast milk". She was teased for several years afterwards. She is 18 years of age now and still socializes only with members of our family. She suffers no mental ailments, but the psychiatrist she is seeing has reason to suspect that the long term breast feeding had altered her capabilities of coping with other people. It is in my opinion, that the fact that other people couldn't cope with the fact that people do get breastfed for such a lengthy amount of time and the fact she was teased for it helped in her social ineptitudes and not the breastfeeding she was experiencing until seven years old.

On a more positive note, my sister is incredibly healthy due to the nutrients that were provided to her through the breastmilk for such a lenghty amount of time. She seldom gets sick because of this. I, personally, have been breastfed until I was 1 and do not suffer any ailments, but I notice I get sick more often than my sister. The doctor cannot say for sure if the fact that she is less likely to get sick often than me is due to breastmilk or heredity.

I feel that there is no real problem with breastfeeding for such a lengthy amount of time. Even if there is the possibility that your child seems less social in school there are other ways to mend this. Such as, introducing them to new children. Just speaking with your child and giving them advice to help them tackle socializing will help them indeed. I am not a doctor, nor do I have any links. My beliefs come out of my personal situations and experiences in which most of our opinions do.

I can absolutely understand how it may seem as disturbing for a child to breastfeed for so long, but after reviewing the links and opinions put in this forum there is really no harm in doing it as long as that child is pre-adolescence. The real problem with breastfeeding a child in public or for a lengthy amount of time, I feel, comes from our minds not being able to cope with the idea. A.K.A: breastfeeding is not the problem; us accepting it is.

Why should a mother have to put her hungry baby off until she finds a place that will permit her to breastfeed privately? A baby is not an animal. It cannot hold it's hunger. Biologically, infants are made to want the breast and the breast (to an infant) is available all the time. It's incredibly natural.

What I have done as a compromise to not expose my breast in public is buy "feeding" shirts and a "feeding" bra along with a blanket to cover me up. This allowed me to breast feed in public whenever my baby was hungry, to not expose my breasts, and to allow others to not be offended over such a natural and beautiful thing.

If you would like to escape the inconvenience of waiting to find a restroom and a chair to feed your baby in, then my method is strongly recommended by myself.

As regarding the older children breastfeeding, since we live in such understanding countries, I do not see what is wrong with it at all. We, as a person, will have to make up our own minds about whether or not we, as a person, accept it. My mind has already been made up.

You make an assumption about your sister's lack of social graces based on her breastfeeding past, when there is no way of knowing if that is the issue. Why can't it be simply a personality difference? My husband and his brother (neither breastfed) have completely different personalities. BIL is very outgoing and a real people person, Hubby is VERY introverted and avoids social situations most of the time. That doesn't make either of them right or wrong, just different. My sister and I are the same. COMPLETELY different personalities-- she is an extrovert and I am more like Hubby. Again, neither of us breastfed. I don't see any reason to believe that your sister is the way she is due to extended breastfeeding. And there is no way to prove that she wouldn;t have turned out the same if she only nursed for a year or never nursed at all.

I agree that breastfeeding itself is not the problem, but people's responses to it. That is why you would never catch me nursing my baby under a cover-up, in a bathroom or nursing station. People are never going to accept breastfeeding for the nature gift that it is if breastfeeding mothers continue to cover up because they are afraid of offending the general population. If my other children can eat in any given spot then so can my nursing toddler!

You stated that your mind is made up on the subject, but you talk in circles about it. Are you for it or against it? You say "there is no real harm", but you are pointing to breastfeeding until age 7 for all of your sister's problems. You obviously don't agree with it or you wouldn't add the story about your sister, so you must think it DOES cause harm. This post was dormant; I just don't get your point in resurrecting it.

[miasmommy]

Originally Posted by 121804

No idea, but clearly your conclusions are not based on fact.

If you expected everyone to base their conclusions on fact, this topic would have stopped from the first post. What is your intention of the post b/c you seem to be focusing on debate to debate & not the actual message.

No parent on here has breastfeed a 7 or 8 year old, so no one on here is speaking with fact, just stats & opinions.[/quote]


I was breastfed by my mother in the 80's until I was 9! I may not do it for my own children, but I did however turn out fine! I was not sick but twice my mom said during that time.

On the other had I have anxiety issues, which I don't believe to be related to the nursing.

My daughter is 9 months and I plan to continue nursing until she is at least two. After that, maybe in the evenings before bed?????

"Mostly" people who are not comfortable with their bodies and sexuality would have a problem with it.

I would probably give a second look and think twice if I saw an 8 year old nursing, but after a moment I would come to my senses and realize that the female body makes a wonderful, nutritional, benificial, naturally immunizing and beautiful substance that should ALWAYS be shared with a child!

[inphoman]

All this surprise and creepy revulsion about the natural practice of breastfeeding, yet nobody bats an eyelid when a human child/adult goes on to drink the expressed milk from cows, sheep and goats etc., some in excess of 50 gallons approximately per year. Now there is something to think about. Give it a break and cop on please.

[inphoman]

A short message to all those who take offence. Just repeat the last two words in the preceding sentence "Take offence" It is virtually impossible to offend someone who is unwilling to take it. In order to make your lives a lot easier just do not take offence and we will all be happier. Get on with your life, you will be dead soon enough and all of your efforts will have been a total waste of time. Smile....

[RUBIES77]

Originally Posted by tet tea

I'm all for breastfeeding, but sometimes I wonder if the women who breastfeed a child long after two years are doing it for the child or themselves. There's too many emotional issues with it.

I do agree with you. According to psychology books I have read, some women maybe doing it for themselves SUBCONSCIOUSLY, if they feel lonely, are in an unhappy, emotionally -unsatisfyiing marriage, etc., or have a need to keep the child developmentally regressed, and unable to let go, again, NOT ON PURPOSE. She may also have a need for nurturing herself, especially, if she has not been nurtured as a child .

I have also read about some women who may have too many children, again, SUBCONSCIOUSLY, because this is the only time they receive ATTENTION from spouses, family, feel satisfied, etc., even though in some cases, at times, she may not even remember the name of all her children.

I am, however, for child breastfeeding up to the age recommended by pediatricians.

[xxDragonFlyxx]

I always try to embarrass women who are blantantly breastfeeding in public because it's offending. It is not their job to educate my children and flaunt their breasts in front of them. It is up to me to decide whether or not my son or daughters are exposed to the nudity of personal, private areas of the body in public.

Hehe, you're funny to listen to. I should just throw out my tv and sit here listening to you =p

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They choose to feed their hungry children the way nature intended. You can choose to look away if it offends you to see babies eating.

Darn, I keep clicking the "rate this post positively" button, but I keep getting told I need to "spread reputation around" or something like that. How am I supposed to "spread it around" if it just so happens that you're posts make more sense than anyone elses!

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my first reaction was ewww. but when I see mom in action it seems just fine and they all seem well balanced. If it works, why question it. maybe that is the problem with the rest of us... weened too early or never did.

I take that back, you're making sense, too. Same here, first instinct was eww, but who knows? Maybe we're all suffering from lack of breastmilk disorder. Okay, I admit, that does still sound odd to say, even in a breast-feeding discussion (or should I say, "debate")

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I don't mind women who breastfeed in public, although I would more than likely be offended by a woman breastfeeding her 8 year old while I was trying to eat!

Ummm, definately! I doubt anyone who's breastfeeding their 8 year old would do it in public, but if they did, I would have a hard time eating as well...

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Wowzer, my wife warned me about posting on a board full of self centered women. I study human behavior, and I've got to tell you, you folks are a study all in yourselves.

Looking back into some of your posts, you all have a habit of attacking anyone who has a differing opinion and calls you out on it. No wonder people disappear. There should be a notice upon signing up that there is a pack of, what was it you called me?, trolls; yes, trolls that do away with anyone who dares post against it's opinions.

TOS states no personal attacks. Funny how that doesn't apply to any of you. Guess I'll go back to my physics and math boards. They are all grown up and act like adults there.

You ladies, or trolls have a nice day.

Hmmm, Stormy, you seem to be the one who started out with a closed-minded, rude, personal attack! Watch those stones, there, you're in a glass house!!!

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just like I don't want to explain sex to my 7 and 4 year, neither do I want to explain this situation. How about covering up with a blanket? I wouldn't take my kids to a nude beach, why should this be allowed in public?

Maybe I should be allowed to **** on the trees in the park. It's natural after all.

HOW, I ask, is breast feeding "sex"???
Last I checked, breast feeding was defined as "the feeding of an infant or young child with breast milk directly from human breasts" (reference.com), and sex was defined as "a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into male and female types (or sexes). Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells (gametes) to form offspring that inherit traits from both parents."

Now WHERE exactly does breast feeding come into that???

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And in our house, my children are taught that female breasts feed babies/toddlers. Which is the truth. *shrug*

Yeah!!! =)

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What would you tell them if they saw a mama dog nursing her pups? You tell them that mammals are defined as animals who nurse their young and are named for the mammary glands, and that humans are mammals too. It doesn't have anything to do with sex, it has everything to do with biology, and is not in any way inappropriate for children to know about. Make it a science lesson

Yup =)

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I admit that I pretty much felt the same way until I had a breastfed infant and wanted to get out of the house, and realized that there was no way to do this without nursing in public because my baby needed to eat frequently. Many places do have nursing rooms, and I have used these when I was out by myself. But when I was out with my husband, or with friends, I didn't think it was fair to me or to my companions for me to go off and sit by myself in a room for 30 minutes while they waited. I imagine that this will be even less feasible for me this time around with a 3 year old to occupy too. I am not going to expect her to sit in a nursing room every time I need to feed her sister. Not only that, but many places don't offer such rooms. I remember going to a restaurant with my daughter when she was maybe 3-4 weeks old. She needed to nurse and I didn't know what to do. They didn't even have a chair in the ladies room that I could use, and I wasn't going to sit on the toilet! I ended up nursing her at the table because I didn't even have any other options, and this was at a time when I would have liked to use a nursing room because I was still an uncomfortable new mom who felt very exposed.

As for using a bottle when out in public, there are several problems with that sentiment. One is that logistically, this is difficult. One has to plan ahead far enough to pump enough milk for the outing and predict properly how much is needed. Pumped milk is difficult to come by, so you don't want to waste it, but you also wouldn't want to run out. One has to then have a way of keeping the milk cold until it is needed, and then a way to warm it up when baby wants it. One of the great conveniences of nursing is that the milk is always there and ready with no need to prepare it. Then there is the issue of mom's own comfort because her breasts are now full because baby hasn't nursed. This can also cause her milk supply to go down because her breasts haven't been emptied though the baby has fed, and because a pump is less efficient at emptying the breast than a baby. For a mother who is working out of the home and pumping for daycare, it's even more difficult because that pumped milk in the refrigerator is needed for daycare and it is a waste to use it when mom is around. It is also necessary for such a mom to nurse directly when together with baby to keep up her supply because she is already replacing several feeds with pumping. Another issue is that not all babies will even take a bottle, even if mom wants her to! My daughter, for example, never took a bottle, even at daycare, so even if I wanted to bottle feed her when out in public, that just was never an option for me (I had to go to daycare to nurse her on my break). There is also the issue of the message it sends to moms, babies, and society in general, to say that nursing should be hidden. It implies that something is wrong with nursing, that it is dirty or shameful in some way. And we wonder why breastfeeding rates and durations are so low.

Well said!!!

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I see that I have entered this converstation a little bit late. It was difficult to post an opinion when there was heated debates regarding other things besides the topic at hand.

I came to this forum to find answers, but it looks like I have formed an opinion of my own. I have two children with whom I was too afraid of breastfeeding past the age of 1 year old since they did develope teeth and to me, this was a strong indication that they are capable of supplementing breastmilk with solid foods. I find that many of the links provided in this forum were helpful in making me feel less ashamed of stopping breast feeding at such an early age since it's not physically harmful to the child nor is it mentally harmful as well.

I will share a personal experience with you that made me cautious when choosing breastfeeding over formula. My younger sister was breastfed until she was seven years old. She was breastfed daily. When she went to kindergarten she was never social with the other children and she was often picked on for being breastfed, because my sister would try to share her personal experiences about her types of food. When at school she was asked what was her favorite food, she said, of course, "breast milk". She was teased for several years afterwards. She is 18 years of age now and still socializes only with members of our family. She suffers no mental ailments, but the psychiatrist she is seeing has reason to suspect that the long term breast feeding had altered her capabilities of coping with other people. It is in my opinion, that the fact that other people couldn't cope with the fact that people do get breastfed for such a lengthy amount of time and the fact she was teased for it helped in her social ineptitudes and not the breastfeeding she was experiencing until seven years old.

On a more positive note, my sister is incredibly healthy due to the nutrients that were provided to her through the breastmilk for such a lenghty amount of time. She seldom gets sick because of this. I, personally, have been breastfed until I was 1 and do not suffer any ailments, but I notice I get sick more often than my sister. The doctor cannot say for sure if the fact that she is less likely to get sick often than me is due to breastmilk or heredity.

I feel that there is no real problem with breastfeeding for such a lengthy amount of time. Even if there is the possibility that your child seems less social in school there are other ways to mend this. Such as, introducing them to new children. Just speaking with your child and giving them advice to help them tackle socializing will help them indeed. I am not a doctor, nor do I have any links. My beliefs come out of my personal situations and experiences in which most of our opinions do.

I can absolutely understand how it may seem as disturbing for a child to breastfeed for so long, but after reviewing the links and opinions put in this forum there is really no harm in doing it as long as that child is pre-adolescence. The real problem with breastfeeding a child in public or for a lengthy amount of time, I feel, comes from our minds not being able to cope with the idea. A.K.A: breastfeeding is not the problem; us accepting it is.

Why should a mother have to put her hungry baby off until she finds a place that will permit her to breastfeed privately? A baby is not an animal. It cannot hold it's hunger. Biologically, infants are made to want the breast and the breast (to an infant) is available all the time. It's incredibly natural.

What I have done as a compromise to not expose my breast in public is buy "feeding" shirts and a "feeding" bra along with a blanket to cover me up. This allowed me to breast feed in public whenever my baby was hungry, to not expose my breasts, and to allow others to not be offended over such a natural and beautiful thing.

If you would like to escape the inconvenience of waiting to find a restroom and a chair to feed your baby in, then my method is strongly recommended by myself.

As regarding the older children breastfeeding, since we live in such understanding countries, I do not see what is wrong with it at all. We, as a person, will have to make up our own minds about whether or not we, as a person, accept it. My mind has already been made up.

Also well said!
It depends on the child, whether it is mentally healthy or not. Nothing is one-size-fits-all.

[miasmommy]

Originally Posted by xxDragonFlyxx

Hehe, you're funny to listen to. I should just throw out my tv and sit here listening to you =p

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Darn, I keep clicking the "rate this post positively" button, but I keep getting told I need to "spread reputation around" or something like that. How am I supposed to "spread it around" if it just so happens that you're posts make more sense than anyone elses!

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I take that back, you're making sense, too. Same here, first instinct was eww, but who knows? Maybe we're all suffering from lack of breastmilk disorder. Okay, I admit, that does still sound odd to say, even in a breast-feeding discussion (or should I say, "debate")

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Ummm, definately! I doubt anyone who's breastfeeding their 8 year old would do it in public, but if they did, I would have a hard time eating as well...

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Hmmm, Stormy, you seem to be the one who started out with a closed-minded, rude, personal attack! Watch those stones, there, you're in a glass house!!!

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HOW, I ask, is breast feeding "sex"???
Last I checked, breast feeding was defined as "the feeding of an infant or young child with breast milk directly from human breasts" (reference.com), and sex was defined as "a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into male and female types (or sexes). Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells (gametes) to form offspring that inherit traits from both parents."

Now WHERE exactly does breast feeding come into that???

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Yeah!!! =)

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Yup =)

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Well said!!!

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Also well said!
It depends on the child, whether it is mentally healthy or not. Nothing is one-size-fits-all.

I don't think bottle feeding should be allowed in public! I can understand that some (very few) women cannot nurse due to medical issues. They should have an exempt card or something. Bottle feeding is unatural and does not have ALL of the benifits as breastfeeding. I look down on people who bottle feed just because they feel it is easier or find nursing "uncomfortable." I had infections and pain the first month of breastfeeding. My daughter had trouble latching on. I had FREE help from the hospital and I kept at it. I faught through the pain to give my DAUGHTER the best nutritional food there is! If you are uncomfortable with me nursing in public, maybe you should put stickers over your own daughters when they take baths??????????????

[zonababe]

Originally Posted by miasmommy

I don't think bottle feeding should be allowed in public! I can understand that some (very few) women cannot nurse due to medical issues. They should have an exempt card or something. Bottle feeding is unatural and does not have ALL of the benifits as breastfeeding. I look down on people who bottle feed just because they feel it is easier or find nursing "uncomfortable." I had infections and pain the first month of breastfeeding. My daughter had trouble latching on. I had FREE help from the hospital and I kept at it. I faught through the pain to give my DAUGHTER the best nutritional food there is! If you are uncomfortable with me nursing in public, maybe you should put stickers over your own daughters when they take baths??????????????

Ok I'll bite, what would the stickers say?

[Taboo2]

Originally Posted by miasmommy

I don't think bottle feeding should be allowed in public! I can understand that some (very few) women cannot nurse due to medical issues. They should have an exempt card or something. Bottle feeding is unatural and does not have ALL of the benifits as breastfeeding. I look down on people who bottle feed just because they feel it is easier or find nursing "uncomfortable." I had infections and pain the first month of breastfeeding. My daughter had trouble latching on. I had FREE help from the hospital and I kept at it. I faught through the pain to give my DAUGHTER the best nutritional food there is! If you are uncomfortable with me nursing in public, maybe you should put stickers over your own daughters when they take baths??????????????

An exempt card?

Are you suggesting that if i have a medical issue that prevents me from breastfeeding my child, that i should be forced to carry an exempt card (like a drug addict does) and you - or anyone- can ask me to show it whenever you feel like it- because you want women to be able to ONLY breastfeed in public? Seriously?

BTW- how would you know what is inside the bottle? Breast milk or formula? Or are you going to ask for a taste?

The last line of your post made no sense.

[miasmommy]

I was responding to someone who said that breastfeeding should NOT be allowed in public. I quoted the wrong person.

My comments and views were only exaggerated in my previous post based on that ONE person's comments! It made me sick and I jumped. Sorry

I can understand someone not nursing because of medical issues. I cannot understand nor will I tolerate people who think the "better" more "natural" choice should NOT be allowed.

It would NEVER happen by the way.

And what I meant by the sticker comment was that if someone is so uncomforable with their daughters/children seeing a person give nutrition "naturally" to their own child, what are they telling them in the tub when they can see their own bodies?

If we are to ban breastfeeding in public, why not ban low cut shirts on girls and women? I would rather my children and yours learn that breasts are for offspring to get their food from rather than to show off in a tank top!