Breastfeeding Older Children (playing, jail, younger, opinion)

[Taboo2]

Originally Posted by nrfitchett4

so it's not possible to cover up with a receiving blanket? I don't personally have a problem with breastfeeding, just think that it could be covered up out of respect for other people. I consider it lude for children to see women's breasts, especially if they are not immediate family. Maybe I'm in the minority here. I don't think it should be illegal, just done discretely.

If i saw a woman at the mall with her boob hanging out and it looked like she wasnt trying to be discrete, i wouldn't think twice to say to her "Cover up for godsake".

I really think unless you are at least attempting to be discrete about the whole thing, you should be ready for any catcall or insult you might get. If you want to flaunt it, you might not like people's reactions. But i really don't think i have EVER seen anyone whip it out without a coverup or being discrete about it.

I can tell when someone is TRYING to be discrete and i honestly have never seen anyone intentionally try to flash the public. Maybe i shop at the wrong mall.

[Taboo2]

Originally Posted by beanandpumpkin

I nursed my daughter for a long time and probably 90% of my friends also nursed. I've seen just about every one of my friends nurse their babies, most of them dozens of times. .

It may not be a big deal in front of friends and family. I certainly hope it would NOT be to them.

But here is the deal.

We are not your friends.

The general public is not your friend.

They don't want to see you or your boob.

Perhaps you see nothing wrong with flashing people because it is "natural", but you too should be respectful that some people don't WANT to be flashed or have their children flashed. I understand it may be offensive to some people and i have the common deceny to be DISCRETE whenever i have breastfed.

My rights are not more important than ANY OTHER persons rights.

I personally always look away because i have no desire to see you or your boob and it has always worked for me and my family. I also expect others to look away because it is not a SHOW i am trying to give you- I am just trying to shut my crying hungry baby up.

But if somehow i found a mother doing something that looked beyond breastfeeding and into something that was not neccessary or even remotely discrete- then I just might tell the lady to "cover that saggy thing up unless you are giving out free samples" in a very loud voice.

I know what is neccessary having HAD children and breastfed them in public and i will tell you that if i see something that is NOT neccessary going on, I will speak up about it.

I am sure that some women DO like that sort of attention. I know the type. In that case, they have private clubs for that sort of thing.

Use common sense and be discrete and thoughtful of others. That is the courteous thing to do.

Just because you have a RIGHT to do something does not mean you need to abuse it.

[miasmommy]

The law states that women breastfeeding (even if showing nipples) is NOT indecent exposure.

This law will NEVER change. We will ALWAYS be allowed to nurse in public and not worry even if "it" pops out or the kid gets fussy and the areola shows a bit! It happens.

My daughter will NOT nurse under a blanket. And although I would much rather nurse in my car (weather permitting) and most of all at a HOME, I have to "on demand" when she is hungry. And sometimes SHE exposes ME!

So if those out there want to yell "saggy things" to a breasfeeding mother, it is you who will be ticketed (for harrassment) rather than the breasfeeding mother!

[miasmommy]

I live in Illinois. But here are the laws on breastfeeding in public in all states.


50 States Summary of Breastfeeding Laws




740*ILCS*137/**Right to Breastfeed Act.

[anifani821]

WOW. And . . . WOW. I am just blown away after reading this thread.

As a mom who breastfed my son until he was 9 months old . . . and bit the heck out of me . . . I am just sitting here . . . somewhat in shock at so many of the statements I have read on this thread.

First of all, if a mom is breastfeeding her child in public, and doing it discreetly, who cares. However, I would think that in order to have a quiet, peaceful experience for the baby . . . it would be wise to seek out a private spot or at least use a receiving blanket. That is what I did and it worked every time and I never encountered a problem w/ my son getting fed properly - or w/ anyone "noticing" what I was doing. Discretion is the best choice for mother AND baby - so as to keep the experience calm. My baby went to sleep while breastfeeding so I always wanted a quiet environment.

As to breastfeeding children who are older than toddlers . . . again . . . WOW. I am so surprised to find out that this many people have known of such cases. I am not into criticizing other parents, b/c I feel that we all do the best we can. If that is how a particular family feels is the best way to raise their kids . . . then that is their business. But I do have to question the motivation of any mother who wants to be that tied to her child for that many years. I personally feel that encouraging independence includes whatever food you offer a child, so that they are functioning and able to enjoy regular diets - menus - just like the rest of the family. I prefer integrating children into the family table setting. So I find all that perplexing and have to question why a mother would NOT want to have her family all together, eating the same foods, rather than having a child off to the side, breastfeeding after age 2 or 3. I also think this encourages a sort of passive behavior in a child, and too much dependence on mommy as food source, but again . . . who am I to know what is best for every mother and every child.

Just surprises me that all babies don't self-wean. It seems to be pretty universal - at least, w/ my experience and with that of my friends - that children decide for themselves when they are ready to "move on." They start preferring having more autonomy and so self-wean.

[miasmommy]

Originally Posted by anifani821

WOW. And . . . WOW. I am just blown away after reading this thread.

As a mom who breastfed my son until he was 9 months old . . . and bit the heck out of me . . . I am just sitting here . . . somewhat in shock at so many of the statements I have read on this thread.

First of all, if a mom is breastfeeding her child in public, and doing it discreetly, who cares. However, I would think that in order to have a quiet, peaceful experience for the baby . . . it would be wise to seek out a private spot or at least use a receiving blanket. That is what I did and it worked every time and I never encountered a problem w/ my son getting fed properly - or w/ anyone "noticing" what I was doing. Discretion is the best choice for mother AND baby - so as to keep the experience calm. My baby went to sleep while breastfeeding so I always wanted a quiet environment.

As to breastfeeding children who are older than toddlers . . . again . . . WOW. I am so surprised to find out that this many people have known of such cases. I am not into criticizing other parents, b/c I feel that we all do the best we can. If that is how a particular family feels is the best way to raise their kids . . . then that is their business. But I do have to question the motivation of any mother who wants to be that tied to her child for that many years. I personally feel that encouraging independence includes whatever food you offer a child, so that they are functioning and able to enjoy regular diets - menus - just like the rest of the family. I prefer integrating children into the family table setting. So I find all that perplexing and have to question why a mother would NOT want to have her family all together, eating the same foods, rather than having a child off to the side, breastfeeding after age 2 or 3. I also think this encourages a sort of passive behavior in a child, and too much dependence on mommy as food source, but again . . . who am I to know what is best for every mother and every child.

Just surprises me that all babies don't self-wean. It seems to be pretty universal - at least, w/ my experience and with that of my friends - that children decide for themselves when they are ready to "move on." They start preferring having more autonomy and so self-wean.

By the time a baby is "2 or 3" they ARE eating at the table. Usually a baby is introduces solids around 6 months. By a year they are eating regular meals. Nursing or bottles are only meant to suppliment their meals. I am nursing my 9 month old, she eats WITH the family but I nurse her 4 times a day. When a baby is 1 year, they can have cow's milk and the nursing or bottle consumption goes down even more.

By 2 years, alot of women (a practice I am aware of has over 2000 mothers breasfeeding AFTER 2 years) are only nursing once or twice a day.

I can say for me personally, my mother breasfeed me beyond 2 years, only at night to comfort me and to make usre I had that extra immunity and the fatty acids found naturally in breastmilk.

I can also say that when my daughter is walking AND talking I will pump instead of direct nursing. It is strange (but not my place to judge) that a mother would BREASTFEED a child so "old"

However, breastMILK consumed at any age, is NOT strange and is VERY benificial.

[Taboo2]

Originally Posted by miasmommy

The law states that women breastfeeding (even if showing nipples) is NOT indecent exposure.

This law will NEVER change. We will ALWAYS be allowed to nurse in public and not worry even if "it" pops out or the kid gets fussy and the areola shows a bit! It happens.

My state does not exempt breastfeeding from public indecency laws.
Twenty-five states and the Virgin Islands exempt breastfeeding from public indecency laws (Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, Illinois, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New York, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, Virginia, Washington, Wisconsin and Wyoming).

But regardless, i am not talking about it popping out or anything out of OUR control as breastfeeding mothers.

I am talking about when the baby is down and you are done and yet your boob is still hanging out and you are making no attempt to finish the job and get yourself back to being covered. There comes a point where we have gone past breastfeeding and we are into flashing territory. When the infant is no longer in your arms and yet the shirt is still off? Yeah, i think we have gone past breastfeeding. But like i said, I really cannot think of one case where i have even seen anything that dramatic before.

My daughter will NOT nurse under a blanket. And although I would much rather nurse in my car (weather permitting) and most of all at a HOME, I have to "on demand" when she is hungry. And sometimes SHE exposes ME!

That must suck, glad my kids cooperated. And understandably if the kids is the one causing the exposure i don't see how anyone can hold you responsible for that.

So if those out there want to yell "saggy things" to a breasfeeding mother, it is you who will be ticketed (for harrassment) rather than the breasfeeding mother!

Well actually what constitutes harrasment is more than just a snide remark in passing.

It would have to be repetetive verbal assaults as well as other activity to justify harrassment. There are REAL crimes being committed and yelling out something to someone in passing would hardly raise an eye much the less police involvement. Although i dare say mall cops are drunk with power and these instance they just may get off on. I can see being removed from the mall premises as a possibility.

No prosecuter would waste their time on verbal harrassment when it is just one persons side against another. If the police didn't hear it, it didn't happen in their eyes. That is almost always how that works - because otherwise people would be saying "bob harrassed me" and they would have to go off of your word against bobs. Not likely.

Essentially you can say what you want as long as you do not continue to prevent the mother from breastfeeding (which seems to be in assualt territory) or if they stand there and verbally assualt you over a period of time and possibly try to scare you or something.

I don't see how any of that would be productive.

[Peach_Fla]

I'm amazed .....I work in a welfare office....Ladies....there are laws out there about how old a child can be....If you are nursing a child in public past the age of 2...an onlooker can pick up the cell phone and turn you in now -a-days....It's based on the act of a child tolerating solid foods...and common sense and public behavior.What you choose to do in your home is one thing.....But if the word gets out at the school your child is attending......you can be reported for abuse.You know, there's mental abuse as well as physical....and yes I'm a mother who breast fed...but for a very short time.AS I felt some was better than none at all.

[TouchOfWhimsy]

Originally Posted by Peach_Fla

I'm amazed .....I work in a welfare office....Ladies....there are laws out there about how old a child can be....If you are nursing a child in public past the age of 2...an onlooker can pick up the cell phone and turn you in now -a-days....It's based on the act of a child tolerating solid foods...and common sense and public behavior.What you choose to do in your home is one thing.....But if the word gets out at the school your child is attending......you can be reported for abuse.You know, there's mental abuse as well as physical....and yes I'm a mother who breast fed...but for a very short time.AS I felt some was better than none at all.

Um, no, you are wrong. There are no laws that state how old your child must be when you wean, or how old is too old to breastfeed. Breastfeeding has nothing to do with a child tolerating solid foods. You may work in a welfare office, but that does not mean that you get to just make up rules and "laws" about what you consider an appropriate time for weaning.

[TouchOfWhimsy]

Originally Posted by Taboo2

It may not be a big deal in front of friends and family. I certainly hope it would NOT be to them.

But here is the deal.

We are not your friends.

The general public is not your friend.

They don't want to see you or your boob.

Yeah... if you'd actually read what I wrote and did not stop at the first sentence, you'd see that my point was that EVEN THOUGH I've seen lots and lots of women nurse, fairly up close, I've only seen ONE areola that was not my own. Since I, a friend of these women, have never seen their nipples, and I've been at very close range while they were breastfeeding their children, I find it rather unbelievable that people are claiming that they see the "embarrassing parts" of strangers' breasts all the time when out and about.