Breastfeeding Older Children (pregnant, 5 yr old, milk, infants)

[miasmommy]

Originally Posted by ADVentive

I agree with you to a point. But I disagree on some of your boundaries, specifically in #2 above. I want to point out that just because cow's milk can be tolerated by most babies at one year does not make it any kind cut-off for nutrition from nursing. It has already been well-established in this thread that many medical organizations, including the World Health Organization, recommend continued nursing (with complementary foods of course) until at least 2 years. (If you believe that a child needs milk nutritionally, then you must see that cow's milk is a substitute for breast milk rather than the preferred nutritional source.) For my own child, it was somewhere between age 24-27 months when she was able to comprehend waiting to nurse until we got to a more appropriate location. Before that, she just didn't have that ability and yes, I nursed her in public when she needed it. I think that it is perfectly reasonable for a mother to nurse her child in public until such age as that child is able to both physically and emotionally stand waiting, and I think that is probably between 2-3 years for most kids.

I also would hesitate to say that a mother should cover up if politely asked. I think that there are many differences in situations such as if the person asking is a random passer-by, or a fellow patron of a restaurant, or a server in the restaurant, or a flight attendant, etc. I think there are many situations where it is not appropriate for anyone to say anything to a nursing mother. And from my own experience, I know that a mother can be completely covered up by her clothing and the baby, and some people will still not be happy with that. A mother can also be covered with a whole blanket and there will still be people who are unhappy because they know she is nursing at all. Different people have different perceptions of discretion and modesty, and that's why it's so hard to make that kind of statement. I think that you just have to say that a woman should nurse to her own level of comfort or discretion, and if others don't like it, they can turn away. There are always going to be people doing things in public that others are uncomfortable with, and you just can't go around worrying about everyone else all the time. Maybe they won't like the way the teenager is dressed. Maybe they won't like to see the gay couple holding hands. Maybe they don't want to see the breastfeeding mother. IMO, the nursing mother is doing nothing wrong, and she should not need to modify her behavior based on the comfort of others any more than the gay couple holding hands.

As for the law? I don't think there needs to be any law restricting the way a mother nurses her child, with respect to nursing in public or past any certain age. I think that is the mother's (and child's) choice.

Please don't misunderstand me. Oh no no no, I'm sorry, I did not mean that cows milk becomes a big part of nuturition at age one. I was going by what a previous poster stated. They said when FOOD is a bigger part of diet, the breastfeeding should stop. I only meant that by the time a child is 1 year, they are usually NOT nursing as much for nutritional/calorie value as they were say at 3 or 4 months. Same with at 2 years, they are not nursing the same as at 1 year. As the child gets older it is more for the good antibodies you get from it or just plain comfort/want.

I know they still need it. I know it is recommended at LEAST two years. And with the last part, I don't think a woman should have to apologize or cover up just because someone is uncomfortable. I only mean that if someone is respectful and comes up to you genuinly and expresses concern, I would try to be nice. As a breastfeeding mother, I don't want a scene and I certainly don't want to make it MORE of a negative experience along with the person who must have had their own issues to be so concerned with it in the first place.

I type like I think

Breastfeeding is best! Breastfeeding rocks! Babies are better of in many ways when they nurse, and the LONGER THE BETTER.

I just want to TRY to get along with people and as long as it isn't completely PUTTING ME OUT, I don't think I would mind trying to cover up a bit or move to a more private area. But I can't say that I wouldn't freak out and get completely defensive either. I can't say exactly what I would do in any situation until it happened.

Ok, now I'm rammbling

I'm infactuated with this subject

[miasmommy]

Originally Posted by 2girlsand2boys

I really can't believe that there are 25 pages in this thread. It is getting a little redundant.

My Hubby is a cop and he said that breastfeeding would NEVER be considered a "lewd" act, regardless of the child's age. He said that it is absolutely ridiculous to think that a cop would ask for proof that the child in question belonged to the mother.

Hubby also said that if he were dispatched to a call of a possible crime because a mother was nursing an older child in public, whether discreetly or not, there would be NOTHING that he could or would do about it. In our state at least, breasts are not defined as "genitals", seeing as though they are NOT genitals, and a woman could choose to walk around topless in any public area without worry about repercussions. Since the law doesn't define breasts as sexual entities, there is absolutely no reason to be so concerned with a woman potentially exposing herself while nursing her child (regardless of age) in public. If it disgusts YOU, then you are the one with the problem and you can feel free to look away.

There you go! Good points. It IS getting old (I'm guilty I know) AND there it is right from law inforcement's point of view.

I'll probably keep reading since I'm a dork, but I'm out!

Good luck to everyone. I'm off to Wal-Mart "hee haaaw" to pull out the saggy teet and let the youngin get a suckin' .........

[MistyVT]

Originally Posted by miasmommy

There you go! Good points. It IS getting old (I'm guilty I know) AND there it is right from law inforcement's point of view.

I'll probably keep reading since I'm a dork, but I'm out!

Good luck to everyone. I'm off to Wal-Mart "hee haaaw" to pull out the saggy teet and let the youngin get a suckin' .........

Let me state that is ONE law enforcement officer's opinion...not LAW. Even officer's have biases and opinions based on their own experiences. My ex is in law enforcement as well, and he would think any woman sitting on a park bench nursing a 7 year old "has a problem". (even if he couldn't do anything about it)

[MistyVT]

Listen....I just want everyone to know that I understand the attachment and bond that occurs with breastfeeding (for both parent and child) I was a breastfeeding Mom and would do it again in a heartbeat. I nursed 5 out of my 6 children for varying lengths of time. My youngest went to the age of 2 1/2. At that point, it was our bedtime routine...not done in public. I started to feel awkward....regardless of my daughter's interest. It is not a sexual act...I agree completely, but our responsibility as parents are to teach our children boundaries and limits. Just as we encourage them to toilet train at a certain age, we encourage them to achieve independence with food intake. I know this is my personal opinion...and Yes, I do feel strongly about it. If your child's peers are to see you nursing your school age child, they are being opened up to peer ridicule. Doesn't matter if you agree or disagree....it's the truth. But then again...probably most people nursing a school aged child would be home schooling as well! If there isn't a cut off line for breastfeeding an older child, there should be. I can give flexibility up through preschool....but I can't intellectually think of any rewards beyond that age that could not be fulfilled in other ways.

[Taboo2]

Originally Posted by 2girlsand2boys

I really can't believe that there are 25 pages in this thread. It is getting a little redundant.

My Hubby is a cop and he said that breastfeeding would NEVER be considered a "lewd" act, regardless of the child's age. He said that it is absolutely ridiculous to think that a cop would ask for proof that the child in question belonged to the mother.

REALLY? Regardless of age??
As i have already posted the laws of my state, it can be indecent to breastfeed.

Perhaps your husband is ok with letting people get away with something that may appear to be one thing but in reality is quite another.

It would look quite weird walking by and seeing a 8 yr old sucking on his mother. But it would be a shame if the police did not even bother to investigate the call that came in from the public and instead- if he even bothered to show up- just believed whatever the woman said (whether he could be certain it was true or not) without asking for verification in some format or another.
I will pass that on to the pedophiles- that they don't ever question anything in Maine, just tell them you are his mommy.


Breastfeeding can be a lewd act in my state and that is the ONLY state i tend to be concerned with.
A 12 yr chowing down on my boob might qualify to the cops as lewd depending on how it was taking place, a lot harder to hide a grown child under a receiving blanket.

But i would HOPE if someone wondered what was going on and i knew it was innocuous as i was breastfeeding him, that i would WANT them to question me and get proof. Because what if it WASN'T ME? what if it IS someone sexually abusing my child? It is the same reason i love them to ask for my ID when i buy something with my credit card. Because if they did not question ME than the are not likely to question it when it is NOT me and a crime is being commited against me.


Be serious, if this was to really take place, passers-by would obviously think something else is going on and call the cops and YES they do come. They come when you are making out in a car let alone having oral sex (which would really have been breastfeeding), so how are they to just believe that you are the mother without getting a form of proof?

I know many MANY COPS here in the state where i live as well as am related to 3 of them. I have actually asked one of them about this. HE said, OF COURSE IF AN OFFICER SAW A 12 YR OLD SUCKING ON A LADIES BOOB HE WOULD ASK FOR ID AND IF THEY SAID THEY WERE PARENT AND CHILD YOU CAN BET HE WOULD WANT STRONGER PROOF.

Because we people are always honest to the cops RIGHT? No one ever tells a lie to a police officer.

Not sure about people in your far end of the country, but on my end they like a little something called EVIDENCE.

YOU CAN"T EVEN TAKE YOUR CHILD OUT OF CHUCK E CHEESE WITHOUT PROOF THAT YOU ARRIVED WITH SAID CHILD (A STAMP)

This is RIDICULOUS and makes me think pedophiles can get away with quite a bit just say you are the mommy. I want some sort of questioning when something that unusual would take place.

why woudln't you?

Hubby also said that if he were dispatched to a call of a possible crime because a mother was nursing an older child in public, whether discreetly or not, there would be NOTHING that he could or would do about it. In our state at least, breasts are not defined as "genitals", seeing as though they are NOT genitals, and a woman could choose to walk around topless in any public area without worry about repercussions. Since the law doesn't define breasts as sexual entities, there is absolutely no reason to be so concerned with a woman potentially exposing herself while nursing her child (regardless of age) in public. If it disgusts YOU, then you are the one with the problem and you can feel free to look away.

And in my state if someone is sucking on a boob it is oral sex and it is indecent and can get you arrested. Breastfeeding is not exempt from the indecency laws in MY state. The laws in my state are not the same as YOUR STATE, do you understand?

I am not saying what i personally feel regarding a 12 yr old breastfeeding in public, I don't care what people with their kids as long as no harm comes to them. I am coming from the perspective of an outsider who could stumble upon a situation, and what do you expect them to think? It is called being objective and being able to remove ones personal experiences and opinions from the equation.

BTW Do you ALWAYS have to insult people who don't agree with you by saying THEY have a problem instead of just being able to be tolerant of others and their differing opinions. What an outstanding role model to teach them to belittle anyone who does not agree with them. Why do you continue to insult members of city-data? No one is insulting you.

[TouchOfWhimsy]

Originally Posted by Taboo2

REALLY? Regardless of age??



Breastfeeding can be a lewd act in my state and that is the ONLY state i tend to be concerned with.
A 12 yr chowing down on my boob might qualify to the cops as lewd depending on how it was taking place, a lot harder to hide a grown child under a receiving blanket.

But i would HOPE if someone wondered what was going on and i knew it was innocuous as i was breastfeeding him, that i would WANT them to question me and get proof. Because what if it WASN'T ME? what if it IS someone sexually abusing my child? It is the same reason i love them to ask for my ID when i buy something with my credit card. Because if they did not question ME than the are not likely to question it when it is NOT me and a crime is being commited against me.


.

Do you realize how absurd you are being? No one here is talking about nursing a 12 year old, and it has already been stated that most people who nurse children older than 2 or 3 years of age typically do not do so in public. Do you really think that there are large groups of pedophiles who are lactating women who also convince preteens to suck on their breasts?

What do you want to hear? Yes, I personally think it would be gross to nurse a 12 year old. I would probably think "wow, that's weird and disturbing" if I knew that someone was nursing a 12 year old.

What has been discussed here is that the natural age of weaning is normally between 2 and 7 years of age. Not 12 years of age. What is your point? Are you trying to make a point that there is no difference between nursing a 2-7 year old and nursing a 12 year old? Have you decided that nursing a young child is simply not offensive enough to most people and are attempting to convey that you're as grossed out over nursing a 3 or 4 year old as I might be over someone nursing a preteen? What response are you looking for?

[TouchOfWhimsy]

Oh, and aren't you in California? Here is the breastfeeding law in CA:

Cal. Civil Code § 43.3 (1997) allows a mother to breastfeed her child in any location, public or private, except the private home or residence of another, where the mother and the child are otherwise authorized to be present. (AB 157)

It does not say that breastfeeding is lewd and indecent. It says that if a mother is allowed to be somewhere, then she can breastfeed her child. It does not say "infant" or add "under a blanket."

[Taboo2]

Originally Posted by beanandpumpkin

Do you realize how absurd you are being? No one here is talking about nursing a 12 year old, and it has already been stated that most people who nurse children older than 2 or 3 years of age typically do not do so in public. Do you really think that there are large groups of pedophiles who are lactating women who also convince preteens to suck on their breasts?

What do you want to hear? Yes, I personally think it would be gross to nurse a 12 year old. I would probably think "wow, that's weird and disturbing" if I knew that someone was nursing a 12 year old.

What has been discussed here is that the natural age of weaning is normally between 2 and 7 years of age. Not 12 years of age. What is your point? Are you trying to make a point that there is no difference between nursing a 2-7 year old and nursing a 12 year old? Have you decided that nursing a young child is simply not offensive enough to most people and are attempting to convey that you're as grossed out over nursing a 3 or 4 year old as I might be over someone nursing a preteen? What response are you looking for?

I don't really care how long you nurse your child. That is a personal matter. What you do in your home to establish a bond is your business. Unless it harms the child I see nothing wrong with it although i wouldn't do it myself, i certainly wouldn't care if someone else does it.


What you do in public is another story.

I sure hope this would never happen, I've never seen anyone over the age of 1 breastfeed in public, but i also don't observe people for a living. I am not a "people watcher" so to speak, so i am pretty oblivious to that sort of thing.

But just in case you think all mothers are golden, look what some mothers are capable of, this may not have been her child. But she was a mother.
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/articl...BABU14I6MH.DTL

[Taboo2]

Originally Posted by beanandpumpkin

Oh, and aren't you in California? Here is the breastfeeding law in CA:

Cal. Civil Code § 43.3 (1997) allows a mother to breastfeed her child in any location, public or private, except the private home or residence of another, where the mother and the child are otherwise authorized to be present. (AB 157)

It does not say that breastfeeding is lewd and indecent. It says that if a mother is allowed to be somewhere, then she can breastfeed her child. It does not say "infant" or add "under a blanket."

I understand what that says, but I guess it is not the whole story. According to this California- breastfeeding is NOT automatically exempt from public indecency laws. It is up the officer (or whomever?) to decide if there is something indecent taking place.

http://www.ncsl.org/programs/health/breast50.htm
Twenty-five states and the Virgin Islands exempt breastfeeding from public indecency laws (Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, Illinois, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New York, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, Virginia, Washington, Wisconsin and Wyoming).

[yodi]

Originally Posted by Taboo2

But just in case you think all mothers are golden, look what some mothers are capable of, this may not have been her child. But she was a mother.
3 charged with torturing teen held in garage

Taboo, I don't understand how this is at all relevant to the discussion of breastfeeding. You're posting an article which reports on people who held a little boy captive while they tortured him in their home. It's a very disturbing story but one that has absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand. Yes, we all know that their are evil people in this world who will abuse others, including their own children, but what does this have to do with the discussion of extended breastfeeding?
You continue to try to draw comparisons between extended breastfeeding and abuse. You make it sound like there is a fine line between the two when in reality, they couldn't be more different.