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I think if you do let your child go that you feel very comfortable with the entire situation ahead of time. You can't be wishy washy.
I wanted to point out that you can call the CLUB venue ahead of time and ask questions. Actually, I would feel safer with my child going to a club venue that a large arena venue. Clubs usually have bouncers ALL over! Also, the smaller club venues that we have gone to MAKES those under 21 use a separate door and a permanent marker X to allow others to know they are under 21. Over 21 usually wear the bracelets. You can ask all this from the club itself.
When you say your daughter is immature...do you mean NOT STREETWISE or immature? There is a difference.
If you do allow her to go..also role play ahead of time about situations. ( What if someone comes up to you that you feel uncomfortable around, what if...you know so she can have it rehearsed. This will be a whole new situation for her. She might think it is crazy,but she could possibly thank you for it later.
Could you possibly take and pick her up? Hang out in the area she will be in? Like at a different club, restaurant? You could have a night out in the vicinity? Make a compromise with her? Just some thoughts. Good luck with your choice.
I WANT to allow her to go; however, it is a small club that allows drinking and smoking, called The Lincoln Theater (if anyone is from Raleigh, NC, I'd love to know if you know it). I realize that she will have an arm band to show that she is under 21 BUT what is to stop anyone from talking to her or even putting something into her drink! I'd feel better if it were at one of the larger places in town, as they do not allow drinking and smoking and they are rather well lit.
So I'm finding that because it IS in a bar type venue and there is smoking and drinking, that those are negatives.
The band is called "Hollywood Dead", which apparantly is a rap group (I hate this "music"). Yes, I know hate is a strong word! I listened to ONE of their songs and all I hear is the "b" word, the "f" word and even worse! So again...I'm seeing a negative here too.
Unless I wanted to attend, I can assure you my 15 year old wouldn't be going. She is SOMEWHAT immature. I don't know how immature your daughter is but mine is somewhat. I think that other 15 year olds do different things. BUT then she will pop up and do something that will totally suprise me. Who knows? I am not a "Drop off" mom. I don't drop off at the mall, the movies, the water park, anything. They don't even bother to ask hahahaha. Good Luck. Go with your instincts.
I'm not a parent, but I had tough love parents and I always seemed to stay out of serious trouble when I was a teen, always earned a lot of money during school breaks and was always expected to act like an adult. If you're admitting your kid is immautre for their age, it might be time to give them some responsibility and that includes opportunities to make good or bad decisions for themselves. No kid is ever gonna be 100% protected from all the bad people out there. It's useless to try and probably harmful to try too hard. An immature teen is not going to do well as a college freshman or adult on their own if they have no experience being on their own and making big decisions for themselves. I certainly didn't think twice about going to Germany to be an exchange student when I was 16 and it was the best thing I ever did.
If you your gut is telling you NOT to let her...then listen to it. I am sure there will be drama when you tell her no, but you know what? It wont be the first case of drama nor will it be your last. You will survive it and so will she!
Now, as far as the drinking and smoking....I was really against all this with my son ( 17) and really gave him the "talk" about all that. Anyhow, he calmly said to me...
You know if I really wanted to do all that, don't you think I would have already found a way to do it? Don't you think I have had a million opportunities to drink, smoke, have sex, etc and I chose not to.
That sort of made me think my "kid" was growing up. Our son has never gave us a reason not to trust him. Sometimes, I do not trust OTHER people, but I have to have FAITH that we have raised him to ALWAYS do the right thing.
Actually, every time he goes out the door...We tell him " ALWAYS DO THE RIGHT THING." Its something that I think we have instilled in him early on.
Being a parent is SOOOOO TOUGH! You have to do what is right for YOUR family. No one knows your daughter better than YOU do!
I went to MySpace and looked at their space. There was 2 videos that I watched on it (all the way through..omg). My daughter wouldn't be listening to this music muchless going to the concert. OMG NO. The Hollywood Undead vids that I watched started out with destroying stuff, cursing, B.... F...... you, simulated sex acts with men and women, women and women, basically they destroyed every piece of furnature in the room they were in performing. Then they threw it in the pool??? Anyway, to much violence for me. To many curse words, sex acts, ummm no. Just my opinion.
I went to MySpace and looked at their space. There was 2 videos that I watched on it (all the way through..omg). My daughter wouldn't be listening to this music muchless going to the concert. OMG NO. The Hollywood Undead vids that I watched started out with destroying stuff, cursing, B.... F...... you, simulated sex acts with men and women, women and women, basically they destroyed every piece of furnature in the room they were in performing. Then they threw it in the pool??? Anyway, to much violence for me. To many curse words, sex acts, ummm no. Just my opinion.
EXACTLY my opinion, as well!
Like I said...IF I get beyond the whole "club" thing, I'm having a hard time with the "band" and I use that term loosely!
The name of the band is Hollywood Undead. You'll find a metal and rap crowd for them. Might be some crowd surfing or moshing, weed smoking. I saw them a few weeks ago, they really weren't very good live.
One thing that you might not have throught about, there are two opening acts, the show starts at 7:30, so Hollywood Undead probably won't even be going on until 9:30 and won't finish until as late as 11:00 pm.
If it was Hannah Montana in an arena I'd say "why not?" I wouldn't have let my son go to Hollywood Undead alone to some crappy club with a friend when he was 15. Fortunately he and I have generally had similar taste in music, so I've been able to let him tag along with me to shows.
Frankly it's not the smoke, alcohol, "sex" (whatever--if you really think your kid doesn't know about that at 15, you are SO fooling yourself) that I'd be worried about, but rather the "injury factor." I'd be worried that she would get caught up in the mosh pit (it seems that all the minors are herded into the GA pit area in that club) or wouldn't react well in an emergency. If there was a fire would she head for the nearest exit, or turn back to leave the way she came in?
From reading the last few posts on the band I would say "NO WAY" to my daughter. Sorry. Add in the drinking, smoking factor, another "NO." You have to consider the type of crowd that will be watching this "band." The type of people she is going to be around.
I would say no to this one. Maybe she could go see a different band with her friends. One that won't have such a rough crowd, ect.
This is my youngest child...so I'm not into being the "cool parent'. I am usually the MEAN MOM and I'm very happy with that title.
I never let the other kids go to concerts when they were 15. However, times have changed. But...some things have not changed.
I can't get past the idea of the alcohol, the "band", playing and singing things I can't even say and if any of kids were to say, I'd smack them up 'side the head!
So...the answer is no. She is not going.
Thanks for everyone's comments. I loved hearing all sides and although I would be inclined to allow her to go to the RBC Center for a concert with a band that I approve of...I can't let her go to this one for many reasons.
Vicki
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